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Adultery As Sexual Addiction Should You Stay Married

(category: Divorce, Word count: 794)
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I outline 7 kinds of affairs in my E-book, "Break Free From the Affair." One affair, "I Can't Say NO!" is characterized by addictive tendencies. Infidelity (as well as pornography, strip clubs, online chatting, compulsive masturbation, etc.) may be a part of the sexual addiction.

Often the spouse or partner of a sexually addicted person intuitively knows of the addiction and the struggle his/her partner has with the behavior.

The partner often "feels for" his/her partner and is in a great quandary about staying in the marriage or leaving the marriage.

If you are a person facing this dilemma or know of someone who is, here are some pointed questions to help move more quickly through the decision making process:

1. Do you really want to save the marriage or are you just plain worn out? Does it seem that it would be much easier to just put up and tolerate the crazy kind of behavior you bump into with him? Are you emotionally fried and think of confronting him with your feelings and thoughts of ending the marriage as jumping into more emotional turmoil?

2. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you think you should hang in there for religious, moral or other "should" reasons? Most spouses who partner with those who can't say no are very conscientious people. Is that you? Do you want to do the right thing? Are you willing to continue feeling the humiliation and facing the dangers because you believe you should stay in the marriage? Do convictions rather than practical and personal concerns dictate your decisions?

3. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you believe you should stay to protect the children? Do you think you are the only spouse who can care for the children? (You may be.) Or maybe your spouse cares deeply for the children and is a good parent. (That may be also.) Do you think that ending the marriage would make life immeasurably worse for your children? Do you fear for their welfare if you confront his behavior?

4. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see absolutely no way out and are resigned to this marriage? You may experience a powerful pervasive feeling of being stuck. You may believe that you have tried everything and that it is in the best interest of everyone to stay where you are. Couple your weariness with your sense of being stuck and you may tolerate a great deal of disappointment and pain for the sake of the marriage.

5. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you see yourself as incapable of getting out? Your self-esteem may be at rock bottom. You may think of yourself as incapable of starting over, incapable of starting a new relationship, incapable of making the transition to a new life and incapable of making decisions on your own. It is not unusual for the spouse of someone who can't say no to lose her sense of dignity and self-respect as he attempts to control, intimidate and dictate.

6. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you need to protect him? Do you see beyond what is there to him basic emptiness and fear? It's there and you know it? Perhaps you fear what might happen to him if you do indeed leave? Will he be able to cope? What destructive path might he take next? So you hang in there, aware of his underlying pain and hope some day it will be addressed.

7. Do you really want to save the marriage or do you live in the fear that if you talk about leaving you will face danger? Perhaps you might face violence? You might face the emotional game playing at a new level of intensity? Does it seem wiser to hold back, not confront, not move toward change for fear of what he might say or do? Do you sometimes feel frozen with fear?

8. Do you really want to save the marriage or have you given no thought to how you might start over? This is a little different than the fear of starting over. Perhaps your life has been so wrapped around his or the care of your children that you have given little, if any, thought to you. Have you thought of your desires, your skills, your dreams, your hopes and your future apart from him? Or, apart from your children?

Take some time to seriously and thoughtfully address these questions. Once you do, you may experience a new found freedom to act and move in new ways.

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The Price Of A Divorce

(category: Divorce, Word count: 537)
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It seems cruel that amid all the emotional struggles a divorce brings with it, money has to be such a tremendous burden and source of added anxiety. Divorces have many costs, some more tangible than others. This is an article about the tangible toll that a failed marriage has and tips on what to expect and how to cope.

From the reallocation of property and debt to child support to taxes to retirement planning, there are a slew of financial issues that are intertwined with most divorces. Chances are you and your spouse share a lot of assets, from furniture to stocks to pets! You might even have a sentimental attachment to some of them. Unless the two of you agree on how to divide all the property up, you might have to brush off on your bartering skills. Some parting couples even opt to sell all the property at once and divide the profits.

While that comfortable sofa and antique dresser might be in demand, the debt you two shared certainly won't be. A joint credit report deserves a good look as you and your lawyer(s) determine what's fair. As you distribute the debt, try to cap off whatever debt you currently have. Divorce is expensive and you want to deflate the financial burden as much as you can today. Again, more bartering may be in order here. Take on more debt in exchange for more assets, or vice versa. If you have an open mind and cooperate, you'll likely come to a fair divorce settlement. It's not unusual for a divorcing couple to split the debt right down the middle.

Surprisingly, you're going to have some new tax issues to think about too. If you have dependents, which person will get that tax exemption from now on? Many other tax exemptions and deductibles that you probably took for granted as a married couple will need to be reevaluated after a divorce.

Not to mention, child support and alimony! These issues are highly variable and personable but they are going to be big ones if you and your former spouse have children together.

Men sometimes have great financial difficulties affording child support, but statistics show it's newly single mothers that have the most money problems. This is especially evident when a woman must suddenly afford childcare or is swept into a new work environment; kids typically must adjust to a lower standard of living, just like their parents, after a divorce.

An entire family structure gets disrupted during a divorce and that has not only an effect on the personal relationships, but on the overall economic situation of all involved. And these financial issues are deep and complex and have enduring effects.

The best advice for you, the soon-to-be-divorced, is to remind yourself the financial turmoil is only temporary and it can be dealt with the most adequately if you can keep your cool and think practically. While it's tempting, dividing up property and debt is probably not a time for vengeance or proving a point. The divorce will go quicker and more amicably if you try to stay as calm and rational as possible!

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Credit And Divorce

(category: Divorce, Word count: 773)
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Mary and Bill recently divorced. Their divorce decree stated that Bill would pay the balances on their three joint credit card accounts. Months later, after Bill neglected to pay off these accounts, all three creditors contacted Mary for payment. She referred them to the divorce decree, insisting that she was not responsible for the accounts. The creditors correctly stated that they were not parties to the decree and that Mary was still legally responsible for paying off the couple's joint accounts. Mary later found out that the late payments appeared on her credit report.

If you've recently been through a divorce - or are contemplating one - you may want to look closely at issues involving credit. Understanding the different kinds of credit accounts opened during a marriage may help illuminate the potential benefits - and pitfalls - of each.

There are two types of credit accounts: individual and joint. You can permit authorized persons to use the account with either. When you apply for credit - whether a charge card or a mortgage loan - you'll be asked to select one type.

Individual or Joint Account

Individual Account: Your income, assets, and credit history are considered by the creditor. Whether you are married or single, you alone are responsible for paying off the debt. The account will appear on your credit report, and may appear on the credit report of any "authorized" user. However, if you live in a community property state (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, or Wisconsin), you and your spouse may be responsible for debts incurred during the marriage, and the individual debts of one spouse may appear on the credit report of the other.

Advantages/Disadvantages: If you're not employed outside the home, work part-time, or have a low-paying job, it may be difficult to demonstrate a strong financial picture without your spouse's income. But if you open an account in your name and are responsible, no one can negatively affect your credit record.

Joint Account: Your income, financial assets, and credit history - and your spouse's - are considerations for a joint account. No matter who handles the household bills, you and your spouse are responsible for seeing that debts are paid. A creditor who reports the credit history of a joint account to credit bureaus must report it in both names (if the account was opened after June 1, 1977).

Advantages/Disadvantages: An application combining the financial resources of two people may present a stronger case to a creditor who is granting a loan or credit card. But because two people applied together for the credit, each is responsible for the debt. This is true even if a divorce decree assigns separate debt obligations to each spouse. Former spouses who run up bills and don't pay them can hurt their ex-partner's credit histories on jointly-held accounts.

Account "Users"

If you open an individual account, you may authorize another person to use it. If you name your spouse as the authorized user, a creditor who reports the credit history to a credit bureau must report it in your spouse's name as well as in your's (if the account was opened after June 1, 1977). A creditor also may report the credit history in the name of any other authorized user.

Advantages/Disadvantages: User accounts often are opened for convenience. They benefit people who might not qualify for credit on their own, such as students or homemakers. While these people may use the account, you - not they - are contractually liable for paying the debt.

If You Divorce

If you're considering divorce or separation, pay special attention to the status of your credit accounts. If you maintain joint accounts during this time, it's important to make regular payments so your credit record won't suffer. As long as there's an outstanding balance on a joint account, you and your spouse are responsible for it.

If you divorce, you may want to close joint accounts or accounts in which your former spouse was an authorized user. Or ask the creditor to convert these accounts to individual accounts.

By law, a creditor cannot close a joint account because of a change in marital status, but can do so at the request of either spouse. A creditor, however, does not have to change joint accounts to individual accounts. The creditor can require you to reapply for credit on an individual basis and then, based on your new application, extend or deny you credit. In the case of a mortgage or home equity loan, a lender is likely to require refinancing to remove a spouse from the obligation.

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Tips For Avoiding A Divorce

(category: Divorce, Word count: 444)
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If you have a marriage in trouble but you want to avoid divorce, you should know that you have great options for saving the relationship. The exact resources and tools used to put the broken pieces back together will depend on the reason for the problem. As an example, if your wife or husband was unfaithful, counseling can often help sort things out. Therefore, prior to doing anything, you need to identity the reason for the problem in the first place.

Other than infidelity, couples struggle with financial issues, which is a huge factor that can lead to divorce. Typically, both couples work full-time, which helps pay for the house, car, raising kids, paying bills, and even vacation. Unfortunately, many couples overextend, meaning they live on borrowed money. Of all factors, credit cards are the most common problem.

When more money goes out than comes in, massive stress takes over, leading to fights. Before long, the husband and wife are disagreeing on who makes more, what should or should not be purchased, who was at fault, and so on. Then to make matters worse, phone calls and collection companies begin to call wanting to know where the mortgage, car, or credit payment are. For the married couple, it soon becomes too much to handle.

If you find that you and your spouse are on the verge of divorce specific to problems with finances, for the sake of the marriage, go visit a finance advisor or credit counseling company to help get things back on track. In this case, counselors would act as the go-between for you and your creditors. In fact, these counselors are professionals who help set up a repayment plan and then work on a budget for the future.

Just because a married couple is having financial problems does not mean divorce is imminent. In fact, using a mediator or counselor can be a huge assistance. The reason is that the blame-game ends so the problem can reach a solution. Start by putting any differences aside and stop blaming each other. Then, create a solid plan for getting out of debt while also saving money.

Most importantly, to avoid divorce, start communicating. Unless you talk, you can never work things out. Keep in mind that good communication does not mean yelling, it means talking as adults. Therefore, take time so the two of you can sit down face-to-face to discuss the current situation, regardless of the problem. If anger is too high, the services of a professional marriage counselor can help. Just remind yourself that it takes time but with dedication and determination, divorce can be avoided.

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How To Choose A Divorce Lawyer In Toronto

(category: Divorce, Word count: 747)
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Choosing a Divorce Lawyer or a Family Lawyer in large urban centers such as Toronto, Thornhill, Markham, Richmond Hill and Vaughan, can be very challenging due to the large amount of divorce lawyers and family lawyers practicing in these areas in Ontario.

Experienced divorce lawyers and family lawyers can help you through a very stressful time in your life and also help you avoid very costly financial and emotional mistakes. Very difficult and life altering decisions must be made, affecting many personal and important issues, such as child custody, child access or visitation, joint custody, child support, spousal support, property division, debt division, equalization of net family properties, the matrimonial home, separation agreements, among many others. Choosing the right divorce and family lawyer is the key to obtaining the best results in your divorce.

You and your children's rights and well being may be affected for many years in the future. Divorce and family laws are full of many legal technicalities and are frequently subject to legal interpretation and your divorce lawyer or family lawyer must be experienced in these areas. Issues of child custody and child support can profoundly affect your children's ongoing development.

If you or your spouse is considering divorce proceedings, it is essential that you consult a divorce and family lawyer to find out your rights and obligations. Do not sign anything or take any action that can affect you or your children's rights, without getting proper legal advice from a qualified family and divorce lawyer.

Hiring the right divorce and family lawyer requires more work than simply looking through your local yellow pages. You can start your search for a divorce and family lawyer by talking to friends and family and asking for referrals. Contact your real estate or business lawyer for a referral to a family and divorce lawyer. There are many other ways to find divorce and family lawyers as well. When you have found some, Google the divorce and family lawyers' names and read any articles they may have written.

Family and divorce lawyers should be chosen on the basis of their experience and years of practice. Does the divorce lawyer specialize in, or primarily handle, divorce, child custody, child access or visitation, joint custody, child support, spousal support, property division, debt division, equalization of net family properties, the matrimonial home, separation agreements and all other related family and divorce law issues. Lawyers who also practice business law, real estate, criminal law etc. are generalists and do not specialize in divorce and family law.

When you meet with a family and divorce lawyer, ask questions but, prepare your questions in advance - how is child custody, child access or visitation decided, what is joint custody or shared custody, how much will you receive or will you have to pay for child support and for how long, how does spousal support work, how will your property be divided and what is included, what happens to your home, who pays for your debts and loans, how much will it cost, what steps are involved in the process, how long will it take - can you settle or do you have to go to Court, what is a Separation Agreement -

Ask what the lawyer's philosophy is about negotiating a settlement or litigating (going to court should be a last resort).

The family and divorce lawyer should be explaining all this and much more to you at your first meeting. Make sure the divorce and family lawyer you choose, answers your questions and makes you feel that you and your case is important and not just another number. Your lawyer should not talk to you in legalize but in plain ordinary language so that you understand exactly what is going on and what will happen in the future. You must choose a lawyer who you feel comfortable with and with whom you can trust to reveal your personal and confidential information and someone who will not make you feel foolish or uncomfortable for asking questions about things you do not understand.

Your divorce and family lawyer should be compassionate and understanding due to the emotional issues involved. Many divorce and family lawyers have gone through their own personal divorces and have experienced your situation personally as well as professionally and may be in a better position to empathize with you and understand exactly how you are feeling and how they can help you better.

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After Divorce Seven Ways To Rediscover Your True Passion

(category: Divorce, Word count: 1807)
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Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in a person's life. It is hard to adjust to being single again, as well as living "out of the habit" of being married, especially if you have been married for many, many years.

Eventually, you begin to think about dating, but it is suggested that you take your time. Use this precious opportunity to rediscover yourself. Think of this time in your life as an adventure to explore the real you. If you have worked outside the home combined with being a mom and wife for the last ten, fifteen or twenty years, you may have lost yourself along the way. Certainly not on purpose, but as most women try to do it all as "super" moms, many times we put our own wants and needs on hold to keep our families and jobs running smoothly!

Take a deep breath and let's start to rediscover our true passions and say...Will the Real Me Please Stand Up!

1. Treasure Your Gifts Within

Realizing we are all born as "gold nuggets" is a hard concept for many women to believe about themselves. Think about how magnificent you really are! Over time, you might have forgotten your unique gifts and are only thinking of what you don't like about yourself or your life. Set a new intention, starting today, to list all of your great qualities and read that list everyday. Keep reading it until you believe it. Examples: beautiful smile, kindness, generosity, loving, caring, intelligent... keep going. Your list is endless, when you start focusing on your great qualities. Allow yourself to see the shining gold within. It's already there!

2. Give Yourself A Break

During and after a divorce it is common to have the feeling of grieving, similar to that of the loss of someone. Many women feel the need to stay busy to keep their minds off of this stressful time, such as working overtime or cleaning the house from top to bottom, but let this time also include pampering yourself. Barter with a friend or neighbor to watch your children or leave work a few minutes early so you can stop to sit on a park bench long enough to get that sense of the unique and special YOU. Take this time to experience life even for only 10 minutes without feeling like a wife, mother, sister or daughter... simply you!

Yes, you do deserve to do something special for yourself. It can be as simple as taking a bath or a walk, going to the mall or reading a book with your favorite cup of tea. Give yourself permission - it's O.K. Remember, the happier you are, the happier your family will be!

3. No regrets! No bitterness!

Holding onto regrets and bitterness will only keep your life from moving forward. Is your inner voice working overtime with all the "what ifs" and "if onlys"? This is normal for a period of time, but ask yourself...are these thoughts serving me or helping me feel better? Will thinking about them over and over again change anything? To move your life forward, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and to learn from your past experiences to prepare yourself for the next exciting chapter of your life. Yes, there is life after divorce. Learn to let it go! Just, let it go!

A quote from Buddy Hackett, "I never hold a grudge because while I am being angry, the other person is out dancing."

4. Enjoy the Little Things

Life after divorce usually means added responsibilities. If you are a single parent or are now the one responsible for the once shared to-do list, how do you handle it all without being totally stressed out? To start, learn to laugh more, especially at yourself. Learn to let things go and not take life so seriously. Lighten-up! Learn to live in the present moment. Living in the present is where all the "good stuff" in life happens. Yesterday's worries are gone forever and tomorrow's to-do list can wait. Think of it this way, when one is missing this moment in time, one is missing out on one's life.

So how do we live in the present?

If you are feeling stressed, immediately leave your thoughts in your head and take off your blinders. (Blinders similar to what a horse would wear, not allowing it to see from side to side). Start to look around you. I mean really look around you. Look closely at everything. Really focus. Use all your senses! For example, if you are with your children observe them. Cherish their smiles. Give them a hug. See the true beauty of who they are and appreciate them for being a part of your life. You will start to feel your stress subside and a feeling of peace sweep over you.

To be present, no matter where you are, use all your senses to pull you back into the moment. Take time to appreciate all the beauty that already exists around you. You only have to be present to see it!

5. What Makes Your Heart Sing?

What really matters to you? What do you feel is your true purpose in life? If someone asked you that question, how would you answer them?

Why is it so important to be clear on what your life's purpose is? Knowing your purpose, will give you a true sense of who you are and why you were put on this earth. It gives your life direction and helps you make clear and easy decisions concerning that direction. It's your compass! Without a purpose, can your life be compared to a piece of driftwood; Floating endlessly in whichever direction the tide decides to take it and ending up on any beach with no will of its' own?

When you live your life based on your purpose you are living in integrity with yourself and are in alignment of who you really are in all aspects of your life - body, mind and spirit. Take this time to focus on what really matters to you. Feel the true passions that exist in your heart and write them down.

6. What Are Your Vibes Saying About You?

Are you familiar with the Law of Attraction? Maybe you have heard the expressions, "What you think about, you bring about" or "The more attention you give to something, the more attention it will give to you." When going through a divorce, your emotions can be compared to a roller coaster ride. Use this time to become reconnected to your inner awareness of who you are. Learn to sit still and quiet until you understand what emotions you are feeling. Realize that your feelings and sensations are okay, then learn to listen to what your mind and body are telling you.

Here is a great tip...recognize if your feelings are low energy or high energy.

A few examples of low energy are stress, negativity, fear, resentment, or a sense of lack (lack of time or money) and high energy is joy, abundance, happy, positive, love or compassion. If you are having feelings of low energy, how do you make a shift to feel more of the high energy?

First, acknowledge and accept the feelings you are having. Be gentle with yourself! Your goal is to make a shift, but realize you might not be able to go from low to high instantly. Start with baby steps! Repeat step number one and become present! Be thankful for what is working in your life right now. Do something simple like pat your pet, smell a flower or, if you are in the office, take a minute to think of a previous fun time or experience you have had that could bring a smile to your face. Feel the shift you are starting to make in your energy.

Now, to amp up this high energy feeling, think of another time of joy or something you were passionate about in your life. Keep adding these thoughts to your high energy feeling and begin to feel great! Does it seem the people or situations around you have changed or is it you who has really changed? So, who has the power to feel their own joy? When you are feeling your high energy, this is the time to take your next inspired action and enjoy the feeling of accomplishing something with ease and less effort!

7. Be True To Yourself

During and even after a divorce, we are often filled with doubts. We question ourselves about what is right, what to do or how we feel. Should I or shouldn't I? It seems difficult to make a decision. Listen to your heart. What feels right? What doesn't feel quite right? If a situation does not feel right, honor your resistance by pausing or waiting. Sometimes waiting is the best thing to do. By waiting you may have allowed the situation to unfold more easily without having to worry! If a decision feels good or right, usually that means you are heading in the right direction. When we listen to our hearts, we are in integrity with ourselves. When we are in integrity with ourselves, we learn to say NO more easily.

Has this ever happened to you? You are asked to be on a committee or to volunteer for something and you say yes, even though you know it will make your schedule even tighter or you really don't want to or have to?

How do you stop this from happening? Next time you are in this situation and you are ready to say yes, yet, find yourself having doubts, try this ... STOP! Take a breath or even take a step back (this action will prevent you from saying yes). Pause! Thank the person for thinking of you, but let them know you will have to check your calendar and get back to them. When you do have time to think about it, focus on how you are feeling. Are you excited to volunteer or do you feel some resistance? If in a day or two you are still feeling doubtful, realize the timing might not be right for you. If you are still excited, join the committee and have fun!

Divorce is not easy or fun and you can make it through this time of your life by realizing you WILL make it! Also, honor yourself and listen to your heart! Your true purpose and passions are waiting to be rediscovered within you! When you have discovered the "gold nugget" you already are, you will start to live your life with more ease and enjoy the feeling of peace. "You are truly free!"

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Divorce Overview

(category: Divorce, Word count: 122)
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Divorce is not just a termination. It's a beginning.

Maybe your friends of the family or people at work will be going through its own set of changes as you face others with your new civil status.

Divorce may be defined as a termination but it is the start of new beginnings and the introduction of a number of changes in both you and your children's lives.

Is divorce for you?

Before that, if you are reading this and are in the process of considering divorce, take a moment to think about several assertions. If you believe that you can accept the following assertions as true in your marital relationship, give the idea of divorcing your mate a second thought.

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Divorce And Hidden Assets

(category: Divorce, Word count: 665)
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Not surprisingly, assets are often hidden in a divorce situation. Why - well simply greed, or the feelings of betrayal or anger at the need to divide assets in the divorce, or the fear of not having enough after the divorce all motivate the behavior of hiding assets.

In divorce, the parties assets are divided. Under the divorce laws of some states they are divided equally and under the divorce laws of other states, they are divided "equitably" or fairly. Equitably often means equally to overworked divorce judges.

There is no way to know in advance if your spouse has or will hide assets in a divorce. You know your spouse better than your divorce attorney will and you will need to alert your attorney to the possibility of your spouse hiding assets. Before you get to that point, however, there are some easy steps to take to prevent your spouse from being able to hide assets. Those steps include finding out everything you can about your assets before divorce.

Before you alert your spouse that you are considering divorce, you need to compile and/or stockpile documentation about all of your assets. If you do not have knowledge of your marital assets, it is time to find out what is there. If bank and other statements come to the house, open them and write down account numbers and balances.

If you have access to the cancelled checks, copy those as well. It is not unusual for a spouse who is planning a divorce to transfer money to friends or relatives with the plan being that they will give that money back after a divorce is finalized. So, you should review those records and carefully scrutinize all large or suspicious transfers that take place in the two or three years prior to or just after the filing of a divorce action.

Make sure that you know where the copies of your income tax statements are. If your spouse has a business, make sure you have a copy of several years of tax returns for that business. All of these documents can be copied and hidden safely somewhere outside of the house in the event that you need them. Taking these simple pre-emptive steps can mean the difference in obtaining a fair settlement in divorce. It will also be incredibly helpful to your divorce attorney to have this information in advance.

If banking and other statements and financial records are not kept at or mailed to your house, you will need to obtain those records in other ways. You can contact the IRS to obtain copies of any tax returns that you signed. Request copies of those returns and have them mailed to a different address - either a friend or relative or your divorce attorney. If there are returns that you have not signed, such as business tax records, you will not be able to obtain copies of those returns from the IRS. If you have access to your spouse's place of business, you may be able to find those tax returns there. If you are worried about your spouse hiding assets in a divorce, you really do need to find those returns and make copies of them - for as many years as possible.

If you have valuables, antiques, jewelry, art or other collectibles in your home, catalog all of them and if you have appraisals, make copies. It is not unusual for those items to disappear or even to be pawned by a spouse in need of more funds.

If you suspect that your spouse has engaged in some divorce planning and is hiding assets, let your divorce attorney know. Ask your divorce attorney to subpoena records from any other individual or entity who could be involved in assisting your spouse in hiding those assets. If need be, your attorney can use the services of an investigator to help to obtain financial records that have been withheld.

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An Apple On Your Head Relationship Physics

(category: Divorce, Word count: 759)
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Attempts to describe the differences and similarities of men and women have been made by philosophers, church leaders, and day-time TV. All have failed.

Our ancestors lived in trees, then we evolved. Sort of. After centuries of development men still tend to hunt and gather. Men still consider their role to be the provider, to bring home the clubbed furry thing for lunch. Do women still select their mate for his physical prowess? "Him big, make good hunter."

Women still tend to nurture and play their supportive role in our homes made of sticks and stone. It is women who have this unique ability to bear more hunters. It is women who still prepare the dead furry thing by combining it with organic matter plucked form the earth. Do men select their women based on physical child bearing attributes? "Big things, make good mother."

Anthropologists have offered indisputable scientific proof that men and women are different, and have evolved according to some kind of physical law and cultural rule. They tell us men and women have behaved much the same since the beginning. So by now we should have it all figured out. Men and women should live in their cave and form a bond, based on their primitive need to please the other and to protect their symbiotic relationship.

If it were so, then how do we account for the divorce rate? How do we account for the thousands of unhappy marriages? Sir Isaac Newton, a 17th Century scientist, might explain it using his laws of physics.

1. "An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force."

Soccer mom drives the SUV from field to field and will continue to do so unless she is interrupted by a stationary object called a post. Cooking and cleaning mom tends to continue cooking and cleaning unless she has to rush to aerobics class, or pick up the kids.

Working man tends to stay at work unless he is interrupted with a request to show up before the diner is cold, and bring home a loaf of bread. TV man tends to stay at rest unless the game is over and has to use the sandbox, or is out of beer, or both.

2. "The acceleration of an object as produced by a net force is directly proportional to the magnitude of the net force, in the same direction as the net force, and inversely proportional to the mass of the object."

Most people think of this as dropping bricks and feathers from tall buildings. It's really a reference to the relationship habits of man and woman. See, back in the 17th century, and anthropologists will agree, women were considered to be objects, and men were the force.

If you read the 2nd law again it would be:

She moves faster to her mother or to her lover when he pushes her harder. Or, he pushes her by doing nothing at all, especially around the house on weekends when he claims that he needs to rest so he can continue to work and earn money so she can have the SUV to take the kids to soccer and ballet and swimming and rush home to cook and finish the laundry and be ready for sex when he is finished playing on the computer and gets an erection.

3. "For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

This simple writer firmly believes and affirms that Sir Isaac's third law explains just about every relationship thing between man and woman.

This physics law, this law of nature, this universal man-woman law, explains what is going to happen to him when he forgets her birthday. It also explains why she get's him exactly the right colour cover for his golf clubs, or the right size shirt with the button down collar that goes with his pants that she gave him last month.

The third law also explains why she reacts the way she does when he brings her flowers. Or phones her when he will be late. Or doesn't forget her birthday. Or takes her to dinner, or takes the kids to soccer so she can have a rest. Or gives her a hug. Or stops what he is doing, or not doing, and simply listens to her.

Or says, "I love you" and means it.

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