The Work Life Balance
Balance. It's a nice word but the reality is hard to pin down. It may not even put us on the right track in our 21st century quest for fulfillment and happiness. In this article we will talk about the integration of work and family life, beginning not with the workplace and the employer's role in sorting things out, but with the person and her priorities.
Generally than people talk about work-life balance they mean the challenge of managing their family commitment when they've got children, while juggling the demands of a career. That's the traditional focus, but the concept has evolved quite a bit. There are now many younger people in the workforce, in their late 20s and early 30s, who may not even have home or family but they want a sense of balance in their life.
Often we are thinking of some sort of perfection, where nothing is out of place, there's no stress, and this of course is unrealistic. It automatically means a trade-off between work and life. If I give more time to my family I won't be able to do my job properly, or if I spend more time on the job my family will suffer. Yet I want to be able to have it all, to do it all, right now.
Let's think about integration, which means bringing the various pieces of our lives into a cohesive whole. We each have many roles, goals, responsibilities and life plans. We have to get it together. The attractive idea of finding ways to bring life into a unity will give us the harmony and happiness we seek.
Experience shows what people who have very clear priorities and their own clear definition of success succeed best at balancing their lives. They know what's most important in their lives. These are people who can say, before it happens: If I have to make a choice, if work and family come head to head, I know what my biggest priority is. People who realize it may have slow their career for a period of time, perhaps while a child is younger, and have a less demanding job so they can have more time at home. And they can be at peace with that, because their definition of success is not necessarily the one that society tells them.
Usually we have to just go through life and let the new promotion or the new demands of the job dictate what you do, to feel you don't have a choice. This is not balanced life road. We need to stop and reflect, communicate more with your husband, your wife, your manager at work, and basically be more pro-active.
The today's truth is that we have too much to do. Technology has changed things and made people accessible 24 hours a day, encroaching on the peaceful time people used to have. Yet some things don't change. We still have 24 hours a day. We all have the same amount of time and how we use it comes down to a personal choice.
The disorganization traits usually come from avoiding the choice and try to do too much. Even a simple thing like, What are we going to have for dinner tonight? can become a huge job if we feel, Oh, I've a lot of work and will not be able to do grocery shopping. Obviously, if we have the knowledge and skills to make something simpler than we're going to gain more time. This is what AcePlanner is built on - using good systems to simplify daily tasks so you don't spend inordinate amounts of time on work.
For balanced life planning and other basic management skills have to be used at home as well as in the workplace. One of the reasons why many people prefer going out to work to working at home is what we're very organized in the workplace, we use time management there, and then we come home and just ride the waves, consuming ourselves with the latest problem that has cropped up.
However there's nothing wrong with wanting to go out to work. We do need multiple interests to enrich our lives and many times we have talents that we need to give to the workplace and to the world. But it is true that work on the job is often more attractive because it is more project-oriented and very linear, and at the end of that piece of work we get the praise and a sense of accomplishment, whereas at home every day it's the same thing.
Human beings have certain basic needs that have to be taken care of every day, and although we can feel a sense of accomplishment that we have organized something at home, it's soon going to be dirtied again, or another meal is going to have to be put on the table. And this means changing your sense of where you get your satisfaction - not just from accomplishing the task or from the process of doing it, but from the motive.
We are all expecting a reward or praise for completed work. Lack of reward will kill our desire to work what leads to reduced productivity. This is why we prefer working for others than doing something for ourselves. Promise yourself a reward for completing each task or finishing the total job. For example let yourself watch an interesting movie when you finish developing page or new promotion plan.
This Human Body Is The Divine Vault Of Storehouse Of 7 Jewels
Generally while discussing Kundalini Shakti (Divine Serpent Power) we talk of 6 Chakras but in reality they are 7 in number. Sahasrar or the 1000-petalled lotus is the pinnacle of all Chakras. Because it is in the brain it is considered a chief. It is labeled extraordinary because there are 5 Chakras in the Merudanad (spinal chord), the Ajna Chakra between the eyebrows and then the Sahasrar in the head region.
The 7 Lokas (worlds) are described. Their names are Bhooha, Bhuvaha, Svaha, Mahaha, Janaha, Tapaha, Satyam. Even in the Islamic scriptures it is said that God resides in the 7th heaven. Since ancient times a similar description is given in the Christian religion too. The planet Earth is one yet 7 classes of creatures reside on it viz. sand, stone, trees, herbs, minerals, water.
One should note that the 7 worlds can never be found in the inter stellar space of our material universe. They are neither there up in the sky nor below our planet Earth. In reality they are present in human consciousness. Because the macrocosm (universe) is present in the microcosm (human psyche). Hence instead of straying away in the external world these 7 Lokas should be looked for within i.e. in our consciousness. Thus one can contact these worlds.
According to Ayurvedic medicine the body has 7 minerals and they are blood, skin, juices, flesh, bones, marrow and semen. Although these are visibly separate, yet they are tightly interwoven within. All these 7 put together constitutes our gross body. When the 7-fold aspects of the individual is discussed, it includes length, breadth, height (the 3-fold aspect i.e. holography), special orientation (time-space) and the fifth is anti matter. It is the fifth aspect which corresponds to the subtle body that harbours extrasensory potential. The sixth aspect is the thinking process and the seventh is divine sentiments. The first 4 aspects are inert and the remaining three are aspects of consciousness.
Before killing Vali Lord Ram displayed his divine prowess to Sugreeva by uprooting 7 trees simultaneously with one arrow only. In reality these 7 trees correspond to the 7 Chakras of our subtle body. Because Abhimanyu had not awakened these 7 Chakras in an apt manner he could not come out of the Chakravyuha net laid down by the Kauravas despite the fact that he had attained divine wisdom while yet in his mother Uttara's womb. Kundalini Shakti (Divine Serpent Power) is so valuable that it has been locked in the 7 Chakras of our subtle body which are the locks of a divine vault.
When we talk of the 7 Chakras (plexuses) they are situated in this order from the base of the spine viz. 1. Mooladhar 2. Svadhishthan 3. Manipoor 4. Anaahat 5. Vishudhi 6. Ajna 7. Sahasrar. Along with the Ajna Chakra at certain places they mention a Bindu Chakra too. Thus Sahasrar (Brahmarandhra) is considered the ultimate station in the form of a 1000-petalled lotus or the 1000-headed serpent. In reality together with this there are only 7 Chakras wherein the Sahasrar rules over the lower 6 Chakras. It is very much similar to the pituitary gland being the chief of all endocrine glands. These 6 Chakras can be said to be both separately situated and also as related to one another just as seasons of a single year are related to one another. They are also called stones of 6 miles and that the 7th one instead of being a stone is a sacred temple.
A certain sect of Yogis call these Chakras as 7 bodies i.e. 1. Physical body 2. Etheric body 3. Astral body 4. Mental body 5. Spiritual body 6. Cosmic body 7. Divine body. The physical body can be seen with our gross eyes. The organs within the body can be perceived by touching them or via other means.
The second body is that in which thoughts are born. Here one experiences likes/ dislikes, respect/ insult, one's own / aliens, contentment / discontentment, union / separation and other such sweet/ bitter experiences. This is the etheric body which the Theosophists label as etheric double. They think it is synonymous with the Prana Kosha or the vital sheath. But in actuality it has a more widespread boundary. This is seen and measured as 'Biofluxes'. Leadbeater had discussed this through "Man-Visible-Invisible". It is also called the Ideosphere.
The third body is related to thoughts, logic, intellect, and divine intellect. It is related to social behaviour, civilized behaviour, ideology, liking, culture etc. In the mental body there is ecstatic experience of artistic skills and in it manifest delicate emotions. This is the world of sensitivity. In this body resides compassion, generosity, ideals etc. The fourth body is the mental body in which glory manifests and our daring and valour matures over here. It is on this basis that man authors his future. If it is aptly utilized man reaches the pinnacle of his life and if its distorted, it leads to his downfall.
The fifth body is the spiritual body and is a storehouse of extrasensory potential. The sub conscious mind is within its jurisdiction. In the sixth body are created Rishis, men of austerities, Yogis, men of self-control etc. In the seventh body the difference based on "mine and yours" is overcome. Over here is awakened the sentiment of "world as one single family" and that "all beings are a part of my very soul". Here one experiences one's soul and the body of Brahman. This is the area of heaven and spiritual liberation.
In the Shiva Purana there is a strange legend about Shiva's son Skand or Kartikeya's birth. Lord Shiva felt that he needed to beget a valiant son who would overcome the demons and establish the reign of demi-gods. Thus he accepted the prayer of the demi-gods. Shivaji's semen manifested as fire. Parvati, his consort, was unable to bear this fire and hence Vaishwanar took the form of a female and imbibed this semen in the form of fire in her womb. When Skand was born he manifested so much divine brilliance that there was a problem as to who would rear and nourish him. Parvatiji did not have any experience. Hence this task was taken up by the 6 Kritikas (Pleiades Stars). They reared and nourished Skand. Skand manifested 6 mouths so as to drink milk from the 6 Kritikas. Hence Kartikeya is also called Shadanan (6-headed). As soon as he gained might he attacked the demons and by gaining victory over them he asked the demi-gods to take over the reins.
This Skand incarnation should be looked upon as the group of the 6 Chakras (plexuses) related to Kundalini Shakti along with its influence. Shiva's Retas (semen) is nothing but Kundalini fire power and in order to imbibe it the inner Vaishwanar is invoked. The 6 Chakras as the 6 Kritikas give milk and by becoming a valiant soul in the intense arena of the soul, a realized spiritual aspirant who has activated his Kundalini power utilizes it for pious spiritual goals.
These 6 Chakras present in the subtle part of the Merudand can be compared to powerhouses of electricity and also transformers. Its function is to attract energy in the subtle world and thus nourish the gross, subtle and casual bodies.
According to Tantra Science the chief powers of the world are classified in 7 ways: Parashakti, Jnanshakti, Icchashakti, Kriyashakti, Kundalinishakti, Matrishakti and Guhyashakti. The union of all these are called "Grand Unification of Farsus" and material research is being conducted in this field.
In spiritual science one finds a description of 7 worlds, oceans, mountains, continents etc. It cannot be correlated to Geography. Because in reality it is a description of the spiritual arena along with its creation and potential. These 7 are the vault of jewels and in it one finds all that which man requires in his gross and subtle life.
Let us pray for material/spiritual prosperity and unite the world peacefully as a family so as to create: A beautiful borderless world.
The Attitude Of Gratitude
Yes, it might feel great to win the lottery. Money, houses, travel - these are wonderful, but not enough by themselves. You need the right frame of mind to fully enjoy life. You need the attitude of gratitude.
Life is better when you feel blessed, when you can look around and say "Thank you, God." Religious or not, when you see life as a wonderful gift, your experience is a richer one than any amount of money can provide. Imagine going through life like you're a child, and every morning is Christmas.
It's tempting to think gratitude comes from having what you want. You see yourself giving thanks if you had money, a loving family, and maybe a house on the beach. Still, you know there are ungrateful, unhappy people with these things, and poor people full of gratitude for what little they have. Where does this feeling come from?
Gratitude arises from how you look at things. It is the natural feeling that comes from truly appreciating the people and things in your life. It is also something you can learn.
First, you have to stop and smell the roses. You can't be thankful for something you don't notice or enjoy. Roses really do smell great, by the way.
Then, you need to make this appreciative approach to roses and life a habit. There's no need to ignore the ugliness in the world, but you have to habitually see the beautiful things.
Start writing down every positive thing that happens to you, and all the things you like. Do this until you start automatically seeing the good things in life. If you've ever bought a white car, and started seeing white cars all over, you know how awareness can alter your perception of reality. To see wonderful things all over, train yourself to look for them.
When you are in the habit of "counting your blessings," gratitude, and a much richer experience of life is the natural result.
Stop Waiting On Your Life
This week I was sitting on the phone with tech support, and over and over again, I thought of things I could have done while I sat there - waiting - not living my life.
Are you "on hold" in your life?
Are you waiting for a spouse to come along, or for him/her to act better towards you? Are you waiting on the motivation to get your home organized? Are you waiting on a great job to fall into your lap? Are you waiting on winning the lottery to plan your retirement?
Stop waiting on your life! The only difference between you and the people who are getting what they want, is that they kept moving and you didn't. Here are some ideas to help get you started again.
Focus on the who, not the what.
If you find that you've been stuck in a goal for a while, try restating it in "who am I" terms instead of "what I want" terms. For example, instead of saying "I want to lose 30 lbs.", say "I am someone who takes care of herself by keeping my weight around XXX which is a healthy range for my height and age." Be as specific as possible. Notice that "I want to be someone who helps others" could mean anything from a clerk in the grocery store to a heart surgeon. Focus on who you want to be. Then ask yourself what actions would be fit with your desire "to be" instead of "get".
Did you know that a full 80% of your problems come from 20% of your life? It's true! Determine what that 20% is that's affecting so much of your life, and start working to make it happier, more efficient, more satisfying.
A big mistake I see in my coaching clients is not assigning a true value to your time, to your energy, to your money, and to the "real estate" (space) of your home or office. Realize that for each thing you say Yes to - from a pair of shoes to watching a movie - you have said No to something else. Always ask yourself - is this *valuable* enough to me to crowd my life with, or even to bump something else from my closet, my schedule, my money?
I know you have "pizza night"- so why not "bills night" or "clean your room night" as well? Like the pizza night, routines show up in all kinds of ways in your life. While they sound boring and confining, routines are actually freeing. The same way you don't have to think about dinner on pizza night, instead of being worried and anxious on Monday morning wondering if you remembered to pay the car insurance, you'll feel calm knowing that you always go to the bank on Friday afternoon and pay bills on Wed. evening. Routines take the stress out.
We've all heard about deniability from political spin doctors. I'd like to introduce the concept of 'controlability' in your daily life. You can't control world politics, but you can vote. You can't control terrorism, but you can be prepared in your own home. You can't control the construction crews on the freeway, but you can control how much time you allot for a trip. Knowing what you can control and exercising that, and letting go of what you can't, puts you in the driver's seat of your life.
Feeling good about yourself will come naturally when you stop waiting and start creating the life you really want to live. Stress and frustration will be reduced as you make choices instead of being pushed around. You'll experience a higher sense of self acceptance, and the self improvement will become easier and easier.
Stop waiting, Start today!
The Path To Happiness
Happiness is something that so many people strive for each day and yet many times it eludes them. Often, they feel that happiness can be theirs if only their situations were different. Have you ever felt like that?
So often we get caught up in what I call the "if only's". If only my husband were nicer to me. If only I had a better job. If only the children were grown and out of the house. The list can go on and on.
We can waste so much of our precious time dreaming of the "if only's". So many people fall into this trap and end up miserable most of their lives.
The problem is that they are looking for happiness to come to them somehow. As if it were something that could be possessed. When happiness does happen to come it seems so fleeting that it quickly passes away.
People erroneously think that happiness is just a feeling like some passing fancy. I am here to tell you that happiness is not a feeling, it can be a way of life. Happiness can be yours on a daily basis if you will only follow some basic principles.
First, you must live in the NOW. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not promised to us so you need to be present in the now.
Secondly, you must control your thinking and the thoughts that pass through your mind. Happiness can be called a state of mind and the way to happiness is bringing your mind into its proper state.
If I live in Texas and I want to be in California I need to change states. In order for me to be in that State I need to make some changes. In this analogy we will decide to take a train. The train must be going in the proper direction and we will arrive at our destination. We must know which train we are on, or we may end up where we don't want to be.
Think of this train as your thoughts. That's right, your train of thought. If you don't want to stay in Texas you have to get on the right train. If you let any train of thought into your mind then you will be taken to and fro and never arrive at the destination you want.
The question then is how do we get on the right train?
The ticket to getting on the right train is called gratitude. Gratitude is an attitude and as we look to all that we have to be thankful for instead of dwelling on what our problems are we will find that we too can be whisked away to the state that we wish to be in.
There is a path to happiness and that path is gratitude.
Create More Romance In Your Life
Ah, romance, that wonderful and exciting feeling, that most glorious intertwining of two hearts. So intense, such a high, but so fleeting, and so often for so many once gone never to return. But does it have to be that way? Can we intentionally create and sustain more romance in our lives?
Most folks profess to want more romance in their lives. Indeed, for some, romance is a goal unto itself, or at least high on the list of goals for their love relationships.
But if having romance in our committed love relationships is a highly prized goal, and if so many people want more of it in their lives, how can we create, cultivate, and encourage it? What concrete steps can we take to make sure that romance takes seed and flourishes?
The purpose of this article is to explore the idea that romance begins in your heart-center and grows outward, and is, to some significant degree, a reflection of how you feel about yourself. In other words, by romancing yourself first you can create the conditions that allow you to experience and express romance with another more easily.
Listen: your capacity to love and accept yourself is the measure of your capacity to love and accept others. The same can be said for romance: your ability and willingness to create romance within is the measure of the romance you can help create in a committed loving relationship.
True romance isn't just about flowers and poems. Flowers and poems are great, of course, but are really just an extension of a feeling that comes from within, something that starts in, and flows from, the heart. Without that heart-felt feeling, flowers and poems are but an attempt be to romantic, not an expression of true romance.
So how do you create more romance in your life? Begin by romancing yourself. Love, accept, and forgive yourself on a deep level. Treat yourself with respect and understanding. Buy yourself flowers. Write yourself a poem. Treat yourself with respect and dignity. And remember: if you don't love yourself first, you can't truly love another.
And remember that it is far more important to be the right person than to find the right person. Our relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves. Romance, too, is a reflection of that inner state. By first creating romance within, you'll be well on your way to creating more romance in your life.
Uncover Emotional Secrets And Live A Happier Life
Can you remember a time when you became a little irritated with someone and made a sharp comment that may have hurt, one which you later regretted? Have you ever writhed in the pain of emotional agony over some loss or missed opportunity? Do you recall a time when you felt so overwhelmed by emotion that you withdrew from everything and everyone? In any of these cases to a lesser or greater degree the emotional part of your brain has produced a questionable response or perhaps a response that you may have regretted later.
Researchers generally agree that there is an appropriate 'alarm' system in the brain. This system effectively overrides the thinking part of your brain in emergencies and causes an action or reaction that can be life saving.
The same system causes you problems when it creates inappropriate and unreasonable responses in your daily life in non-life threatening situations. Maybe your loved ones see your anger and it hurts them or your relationship to them. Perhaps you experience other consequences that would have been averted had you greater control over your emotional brain.
You can exert control over the reactionary part of your gray matter. The first step is realizing why these unwanted and seemingly uncontrollable responses happen. Just being cognizant that your emotional alarm system sometimes triggers at inappropriate times is half the battle. With awareness, you will be primed to take the next step.
Using your will to produce a calmer state is the second step. You'll want to exert some effort from the rational or thinking part of your brain. Your thinking mind must not be timid and should be a bit stronger in applying a conscious influence over your emotional reactions. You can learn to control the alarm response with persistence and patience and reset the threshold to a more appropriate 'setting'.
Once you begin to recognize the emotional response before it happens, you begin to develop the ability to stop that response and engage the more rational part of your brain.
When successful, you will find that you no longer 'snap' at others. You will be happier and your emotional side will not run ramped like an out of control team of horses racing away with the wagon of your rationality.
Instead, you may find yourself becoming calmer, more relaxed and better able to handle situations in a way that helps everyone and allows the wonderful person that you truly are to shine through.
Developing a more compassionate and kinder nature may help. Becoming less quick to judge a situation and more understanding of the perceived transgressions of others may be useful in resetting the threshold of your emotional alarm system.
Ridding yourself of thoughts of arguing or fighting with others may also leave you in a better state of mind. Allowing things to happen naturally and letting go of the need to be in control of every situation will allow you to feel better about yourself and the world around you.
Consider practicing that sage-like advice that comes from a most unusual source, bumper stickers. You have probably seen the ones that say, "I practice random acts of kindness' If you actively do so, you may find your threshold for emotional responses naturally adjusting upwards.
Checking inappropriate responses is a great reason to pay attention to your emotions and feelings. Yet, there is a an even more positive benefit that hasn't been mentioned yet.
Consider this quote from the inside front jacket of Daniel Goleman's book, "Emotional Intelligence". "Emotional Intelligence includes self- awareness and impulse control, persistence, zeal and self-motivation, empathy and social deftness. These are the qualities that mark people who excel in real life: whose intimate relationships flourish, who are stars in the workplace. These are the hallmarks of character and self- discipline, of altruism and compassion -basic capacities needed if our society is to thrive".
Clearly, you have the power to make changes that vastly improve the quality of your life and the lives of those around you. The answer rests within and can change your world.
Learn How To Love Yourself
I'm sure you read a lot of times this sentence : you need first to love yourself.
But what does that mean? Is it about getting you a hot chocolate when you are cold? Is it about getting you a new dress when you feel like it? Is it doing whatever you want when you want it? Is it about putting warm clothes on when it's freezing outside?
Loving yourself means to learn to treat you like a loving parent would do with his child.
When you are an adult, and I assume you are, you still have an Inner Child inside you. These are your emotions. At that level you still react like a child of 3-4 years old. Your emotions can not get older or mature. But you can get mature. You can learn how to respect them and how to handle them. You can learn how to take care of this Inner Child.
When you are not aware of your Inner Child, you try to live in an adult world like a 4-year old boy or girl. You feel all alone, afraid of the big nasty world there outside, not knowing what to do, where to ask for help, how to protect you. This is a very difficult way of doing. You will always feel afraid, fearful, doubtful, tired. It is hard to try to survive as a child in a grown up world. You will feel angry and afraid most of the time, and lost.
Why is that? Because nobody takes care of that Little Child inside you.
Let's say your name is Charlotte. You are 42 years old. Inside you lives the little Charlotte. She's four. When you are busy in the outside world taking care of other people, of business, of getting around, of doing a thousand things every day, the little Charlotte will feel overlooked. When you're always running to help others, to make sure their needs are fulfilled, you will be exhausted every night and cry in your bed. Sometimes you will get temper tantrums. You will feel very angry without any reason (but still there is one, a big one!).
All these big emotions are attempts from your Inner Child to get your attention.
Imagine you have, besides your children, husband, collegues, parents, friends, a little four-year old girl named Charlotte. Nobody ever notices her. Nobody takes care of her. Whenever she tries to tell something and get some attention, you shout to her "Shut up!". You say "I have to take care of my parents, my work, my husband, my paperwork, my friends, my other children, my house... I don't have time for you!"
How do you think she will feel? What do you think she will do? First she will try to get your attention by showing big emotions. She will cry a lot, she will scream and shout, maybe she's getting aggressive from time to time. You think you're angry at the outside world, but it is Your Inner Child that is angry with YOU! She's sad and angry because you don't care about her! You act as if she doesn't exist! Nothing is worse than acting as if our Inner Child doesn't exist. This means trying to live as if WE don't exist.
The worst feeling in the world is being unloyal to one's self. Nothing is worse than this!
How many times did we ignore what we felt, to please someone else. How many times did we say to our Inner Child "Shut up, you are not important, the other one is far more important than you are, go away, I don't want to hear you, I don't want to see you"? Awful isn't it? And we do this every time we let come the desire of the other one before ours.
This little Charlotte inside, what will she do? She will give up after a while. After trying a long time to show her emotions, she will give up. She will get very tired of all this and she will say :"It doesn't matter, she doesn't love me, she doesn't want to take care of me, I'm not worth it", and she will get depressed.
Of course you will think you get depressed because of others, because of your work, because of your children, because of your husband or parents.
It is nobody's fault. But you have to learn how to take care of this Inner Child which is suffering from your lack of attention to her.
When, after getting depressed things still don't change, there's one weapon left to catch your attention : little Charlotte will get sick. Or she will get an accident. Maybe that way the adult Charlotte will learn to give finally attention to her Inner Child, which is as real (if not more) as a real child of flesh and blood.
You need to learn how to be a loving parent for yourself.
What does that mean?
First you need to develop an Inner Mother. If you were lucky and had a loving caring mother, you can take her as an exemple. Otherwise you need to invent, to create this Inner Mother, which is your feminine caring energy. Everytime you have an emotion, your Inner Mother should ask your Inner Child : "What happens, my darling?" Listen to what your Inner Child has to say. Than you go on with the dialogue. Inner Mother says : "Come here. Come in my arms, I love you as you are. I love you with what you feel."
Doing that, the heaviness of the emotions will drop pretty much. Than you say these words : "I understand". These words are very important, because most of the time we don't feel very "normal" having the feelings we have and we try to ignore or suppress them, which makes them heavier. "I understand, my darling, come here in your Mothers arms, I love you."
Stay with these words and feelings for a while, and than ask :" What do you need?"
Whatever the Child answers, you say : "We will ask this of your Father".
And here starts the task of your Inner Father, who is there to protect you and to act for you in the outside world. You would never send a four-year old asking for a raise at work or getting to resolve a conflict at school or with the neighbours, would you? So why do you try it? Send out your Inner Father to take care of whatever you have to do in the outside world. Your Inner Father is your male energy, which enables you to make decisions, to take action, to follow your inner guidance (which is located in you Inner Child, also called Intuition) and to manifest your Child's desires in the world.
When your Child has a need, for instance to call someone or to go somewhere to arrange something, imagine that your Inner Child stays at home with his Mother who takes care of his feelings ("I understand you're afraid...") and that your Inner Father (another part of your being) goes out there to act. Your Inner Father is that part of you which is able to handle stress, to take action, to arrange conflicts and all other stuff that has to do with the outside world. If that part is missing because you didn't have a good model when you were little yourself, you will have to create and develop it.
Of course your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself.
Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. Loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.
Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself.
It is creating your own loving family, inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three! Call it your Trinity. Wherever you go, from now on you go with your Inner Family. Your are not alone. You are loved and you are protected. You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little Child that has been waiting for so long to get your attention and love.
This is inner healing.
Simple Ways To Have Happy Experiences
Happiness is a 'now you feel it, now you don't' emotion. I know this from personal experience and from hearing of the experiences of others. Sometimes I'm very happy, other times, sad, joyful, contented, frustrated, and sometimes very neutral.
Several years ago I had no reference point for the word happy. I knew technically the meaning of the word, however the experience eluded me. Joy I could do, happy for some reason, no.
One day during a workshop the word happy was demonstrated to me with much laughter from the audience. Now I not only get 'happy' but remember it also as a fun experience.
There are many small things that can make me happy as well as give me endless joy. I've listed seven simple ways toward experiencing a happy moment, but first check you have a reference point to the word happy. Find out what happy really means to you?
1.Remember or create a 'happy' moment. When you live the experience of 'happy' your mind and body will remember. Feel the happiness in all parts of you, expand this feeling if need be. Practise this daily.
2.Access the Present moment. Notice what happens to you when you're totally focussed on a comedy show on television, when you listen to light hearted music or when you dance - even if it's on your own. I sometimes groove to a tune in my office when no-one's looking - it makes me feel good, cool, gives me a break from what I'm doing and I laugh at myself!
3.Invite friends over for some play time. Organise paper, crayons, paint, and coloured pencils, whatever you can think of and do some drawings or paintings. You could also ask each person to bring along a plate of food.
4.Spend time with nature, go for a walk down the beach or park; observe wildlife in your area or visit a plant nursery. Notice your mood when amongst the spirit of nature.
5.Take something with you that gives you great pleasure such as a book, journal for writing or your MP3 player and sit and 'Be' under the canopies of trees for a few hours.
6.Learn something totally new such as another language; pottery or painting or start your meditation, personal or spiritual development program. You're only ever limited by your own imagination.
7.Join a club or group that you have an interest in. You can then expand your friendship base with other like-minded souls.
With any of the above activities assess what and how you're feeling as well as where you feel the emotion and how much are you laughing, grinning, or smiling? Remember them totally by living the experience and you will then be able to recall this memory when you want to.
Include to memory your experience colours, smells, sounds and tastes - all the better for remembering your happy time with.
Quiet time spent alone can open the door to the possibility of connection to that most amazing and magical part of you that is your true self, the spirit within.
From my experience the key to a happy life begins with remembering who you are, know what gives you enjoyment, be present, and know that regardless of your circumstances no-one can take away your thoughts or dreams, they are yours to keep for as long as you wish.
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