Negotiating Life S Detours Follow Your Energy
Someone asked me recently if I had a guiding principle that helped me decide what new work to take on, and how I decide how much time to spend pursuing my various interests. It's a great question. Entrepreneurs have an idea a minute, and it's often difficult to know which ideas to invest time in. A mentor of mine gave me this principle some years ago, and I try to live by it.
Go where your energy is strong.
Does the path you're on give you energy just thinking about it? Then follow it. If it doesn't, consider a new direction.
Easier said than done, perhaps, but you can start with small steps. Do you love to sing (write, play tennis, carve wood) but find you don't make time for it? Find a teacher and begin lessons, or block out an hour twice a week to practice or engage in the activity. Is your life of work not fulfilling at the moment? What one change can you make that might release your energy? Maybe you need to have a conversation with your boss or staff, review priorities, or ask for a change that would make you look forward to walking into the place where you spend a third of your life, instead of dreading it.
Even the right path has detours from time to time. Subject each new direction to your energy test. Is it strong? Do you wake up mornings eager to begin? When you're doing this activity, do you forget where you are and what time it is? This is what it means to go where your energy is strong. This principle makes decisions a lot easier and keeps you on the road that's right for you.
Where is your energy strong? Take a moment now to consider the ways in which you spend your energy each day.
How much of it is on target, and how much of it is not?
In what ways do you know when you're headed in the right direction?
Do you have a vision that guides you?
Sit for a few minutes each morning, close your eyes, and visualize what you want in your life. It is time well spent. Good ki!
I Dare You To Challenge God For A Miracle In Your Life
I was pretty much raised in church, since the age of 7. When I was 25, I backslid from church, for many reasons. I was hurt by members of the church. The more I tried to understand God and why things were happening in the church, the more doubts and unanswered questions I had. This caused me to drift further and further from God.
Many times, during the next 16 years, I tried to go back to church, but it seemed like every time we attempted, things would happen to remind me why I left in the first place. I don't want to dwell here on the particular reasons why I left my old church, but I do want to say that because of everything that happened, I developed major doubts about the even the existence of God. I started to think that maybe what I experienced was a lie. I mean, how could a loving God, who says that we have a choice to love Him or not, torment those who choose not to love Him? If someone were to do this in our society, we would put them in jail for this crime. Is it really a choice if we choose not to love Him and He tortures us when we choose not to love Him, by sending us to the Lake of Fire for eternity?
During my backslidden years, I spoke to several ministers and friends in the church about my unanswered questions about the "choice" that God has given us, but none could answer to my satisfaction. Nothing ever made sense to me, so I continued turning away from God. Through these years, my family was doing well. My wife and I had really good jobs, making nearly $100,000 a year. We had a nice, big house on a hill, new cars, motorcycle, and some money in our pockets.
Suddenly, in 2002, it all came crashing down! My wife and I both lost our jobs the same year, within 3 months of each other! We hung on for as long as we could, but went through all of our savings and eventually lost the house, cars, motorcycle and everything! My wife is a pharmacy technician with about 15 years of experience, working for Blue Care Network and even U of M Hospital in Ann Arbor, but she couldn't even get an interview for a possible pharmacy technician position, let alone a job. I am a graphic designer/network administrator with about 15 years of experience, as well, and worked for EDS, GM, Delco, Delphi, and other companies, but couldn't get an interview, either.
Finally, when we got to the bottom, and the only direction we could go was up, we turned to God. We asked Him to help us and I was able to get a job. It didn't pay as much as my last job, but was within a few dollars an hour. So I took the job. At least it was a job. It took my wife another year before she got a job. It wasn't in her field, and it was half the pay, but it was a job. Now, with our financial situation at least afloat, we didn't need God and stopped talking to Him. Slowly, things started getting bad. My boss was unbearable to work for. I also started getting sick on a regular basis, causing me to miss work, which caused my boss to make it even more difficult to work for. This is the type of person who doesn't trust anyone and tells you that he doesn't trust you. He even dug through my trash, while sitting next to me, to see what I had written down and thrown away! He would always come around the corner real fast and look at my monitor to see what I was doing. I was never treated like a grown-up, but a child. So I decided to start my own computer business and leave this job. Since my wife was working, and I already had some customers, I decided to take the plunge. At first, things were going well, but then things got bad, and then worse. For nearly 3 months, I got hardly any computer jobs. I design websites and work on computers and networks, but the work just seemed to disappear. Eventually, we were pretty much living on my wife's income, which just barely paid the rent, let alone any food, gas, utilities, etc. Things were looking hopeless.
Finally, we got back to the place where there was nowhere else to turn, but God. So, with my tail between my legs, I turned to God and told Him that we are at the bottom again. I told Him that it seems like every time things fall apart, and there is nowhere else to turn, that I come crawling back to Him. I told Him that we have no food, we can't pay the rent, we have no gas to get to work or get the kids to school (school is a half hour away from our house). The heat was about to be turned off, my business phone was about to be disconnected, without which I couldn't make any money. My landlord was upset that the rent was again 3 weeks behind, and we had nearly two weeks to go before my wife got paid. I didn't know what to do, so I told God that if he got us out of this mess that I would serve Him. I told Him that I had to pay the rent within the next few days, and that I needed to feed my family and had no food. I told Him that if he fixed my immediate need and helped with the long-term need that I would know that He really existed and that he cared about me and my family. I also told Him that if he did this for me that I would be a witness for Him, that God does exactly what He says he will do and that all we have to do is ask and He will provide, even to a sinner/backslider like me, who has turned his back on God and gone back on his word so many times. God still loves us and cares about us. I told Him that I would tell everyone about what He did here, if He would get us out of this crisis. In fact, I challenged God to show me his glory and to impress me with a miracle so that my family and I could see that it HAD to be God who did this, that it could in no way be a coincidence that things just got better.
That night, I got a call from a friend of mine who told me that his girlfriend is a manager of a CPA firm and is having problems with her server and all of her computers and wants my help to fix them. He said that it will probably be a really big job, so I could make a good amount of money from them. He asked if I was interested, of which I said, YES! Within a day, I was asked to come out and help them with a problem that their proprietary accounting software company couldn't help them with, after working with them for days on the problem. I told them that I would give it a shot and that I could probably help them (not even knowing this software or the specific problems that they were having).
On the way to the CPA job, I received a call on my cell phone from another friend of mine, who asked if I was still doing graphic design. I told him that I was mainly doing web design now, but could still do graphic design. He wanted to know if I could do some jobs for him and I gladly told him, yes. He said that it will probably be a few jobs and may turn into regular work, and was I still interested. I said, YES! Since he lost his regular designer, he is going to start sending me the work to do, which I will be able to do from home, and not drive one to two hours away to work at their office. Wow! I was really starting to get impressed with what God was doing and I actually laughed out loud in my car!
While driving to the CPA office, I asked God to help me on this job, since I didn't know the software. They were also using an older network protocol that I was only vaguely familiar with, and didn't know if I could help them or not, but since God gave me this job, I knew He would help me figure it out. When I got there, I took a look at what the problem was and had it figured out in 15 minutes. The company who sold them the software had eventually given up on them and told them flat out that they weren't going to be able to fix the problem. God helped me fix it within minutes! In fact, it scared me that I had it fixed too quickly. Now that they were operational, there was no need to keep me there. I was afraid that I wouldn't be making very much money on this job. So I spoke to my friend's girlfriend and told her that I heard that their computers were running pretty slowly and asked if she wanted me to give them tune-ups. She said, yes, and didn't even ask me how much. It took me 2 days to complete the tune-ups. I also quoted converting their network to a newer network protocol and installing a new server, which was approved by the boss within a day (even though she told me that money was tight and it would probably have to wait a couple of months). Within a few days, I made about $1500 from this company, because of the Lord!
While I was at this CPA firm, I overheard one of the workers there say that she was having trouble with her home computers and her Internet. I asked her if she needed help and she said that she would love some help, but it would probably be a nightmare to work on her problems. I told her that it would be no problem and that I could give her a hand. At lunch time that day, I followed her to her home and looked over her computer problems, after which I came back with a network job and a check for $250!
When I got home, I had a message on my business answering machine that someone else needed help with their computer, and I made another $99 fixing his computer.
The next day, I got a similar call about another computer problem, but this one is turning into a regular client. It is a retired rich person who needs ongoing help with their computer and is looking for a local person to keep their computer running and help with computer training.
Within these couple of days after my prayer to God, I also received a call from a guy who is starting a high-speed wireless Internet service for the Columbiaville, MI area (where I live). A month prior, I agreed to be a reseller for this service, since I too live in Columbiaville, and this would be a great service to offer to our community because there is no high-speed Internet access available. Previously, we had met and had hit if off right away. He also has a small computer company, and by all rights, we should be enemies, since we are competitors. However, that wasn't the case. We decided to make it work, so that it benefited both of our small companies. Well, one of the services that his company provides is a specialized service that requires him to travel across the U.S., installing and configuring POS systems in various businesses. While on his way back from Wisconsin, recently, his very large, top-heavy van hit some black ice, which caused him to spin out of control. He was on a small, winding road in the hills, where there was no guard railing and there was a steep drop-off. He told me later that it was only by the grace of God that he didn't roll the van off the embankment, where he would have surely died! If it would have been inches in either direction, the van would have caught in such a way that it would have flipped and went over the cliff! This got him thinking that if he would ever die, that his wife wouldn't be cared for, since there would be no one to continue working the technical end of the business. So he called me (still within a day or so of my prayer to God about providing for my family) and asked me if I would be willing to be his partner and to take over, should he ever die. He wanted to make it legal and to put it in his will, as well as have a legal agreement with me, explaining what my responsibilities would be, and what percentage of the company I would receive while he is alive, and also after his death. He said that he got a certain vibe from me and he trusts me. He wanted to slowly work me into the business full time and would eventually make me a full partner, making a percentage of the businesses' profit, plus a regular salary (without buying into his business). This is NEVER done! You don't just get handed a partnership, where the other partner puts up all of the money. It could only have been the Lord!
One of my promises to God (in return for doing this for me) was that I would tell everyone what He has done. I first told my son. I explained everything that I just told you. Then, I called one of my brothers. I told him that I always wanted to come back to God, but I wanted to do it when things were going well. It seemed like every time things were going badly, I always came crying back to God and he would make things a little better, and then I would drift away. I didn't want Him to think that I only came to Him because I needed something from Him. I wanted to come back to God because I loved Him and wanted to serve Him, not because I messed up again and needed His help out of another jam (well, it made sense to me). After telling my brother about what God had done for me, I told him that I still had a problem with the "choice" thing. I understand that God is real, since there was a dramatic response to my plea for help, but I still had a problem with being forced to love someone who says you have a choice to love Him, but will torture you if you don't. Then I heard a little chuckle over the phone line. My brother said that this might be his fault and my father's. I said that I didn't understand. He proceeded to tell me that since my family and I had left church, he and my father always prayed for us. They used to pray that the Lord would lead us back to church and that He would bless us and help us. And He did. During this time we were blessed with the good jobs, nice cars, and extra money. Then, he said that he and my Dad noticed that things were going so well for us that it seemed like we thought we didn't need God any more. Why ask for help if you don't need it? So, they decided to pray for me in a different way. They started praying for God to do whatever it takes for us to get back into church. After that is when we started losing everything, which caused us to turn back to God and ask for help. It worked, for a short period of time. This was when I got the job after a year of being laid off. And you know the rest.
So, after hearing my brother tell me all of this, it became clear as a bell, and I said, "So YOU are the one! You are the one who is the cause of all of this mess!" And he started laughing. He said that he hoped I wasn't upset, since he and my Dad may have caused the "Job" effect on my family, but it was to get my attention. Actually, it did get my attention. It took a few years, but I turned back to God. But most of all, I now see exactly what is going on and I also understand the "choice" thing. After fighting with the choice vs. torment conundrum, I finally see. I was looking at it all wrong before. What I thought was happening was that since I wouldn't love God, He was causing all of these bad things to happen in my life… loss of jobs, house, cars, motorcycle, money, sanity, etc. But that wasn't the case. It was because I had friends and family praying to God, asking Him to do whatever it takes to get my attention, so that I would turn back to Him. So in reality, it wasn't even God doing it to me, taking away my choice to not serve him, it was the prayers of God-loving people that caused my financial downfall, which in turn, caused me to turn back to God for help. God wasn't taking away my choice, and twisting my arm so that I would love Him. He was answering prayers of people whom He had given a choice, and chose God.
When I realized what was happening, I broke down and cried on the phone, while talking with my brother. I told him that it was the first time in 16 years that I finally understood the "choice" thing, and that we truly did have a choice. And I finally understood that when we don't choose God, he doesn't twist our arm until we choose Him. He twists our arm when people, who chose to love Him, ask Him to do so. He is just answering prayer. So, once I understood this, I told my brother to ask God to let me up now! I told him to tell God that He doesn't have to twist my arm any more, I understand, and am coming back for good. I told him to now start praying that things get better for us, and he did, and they have!
This same brother has also been going through some tough times, financially. His health is pretty bad and he is disabled. His wife has had a hard time finding work, after being laid off from her job last year. I decided to return the favor and ask God to help his family, financially, and to help relieve some of the financial burden that they have. This was during the few days that I was working for the CPA. One of the 3 days that I was at the CPA firm, I overheard them talking about hiring a new girl for a receptionist job and that they needed to find someone right away. I asked the manager what type of person they needed and she told me. I told them that I knew someone looking for a job. They told me to get them her resume right away and they would interview her. So I told my brother, who got his wife's resume over to their office, and she was hired the same day of the interview, making really good money! So not only did God work it out so that this CPA job helped my family, but also turned it into a win-win situation where my brother's family benefited from it as well!
Because of the incredible quickness of the Lord's response, I was able to pay the rent, buy some food, and pay a couple of bills within just a couple of days of my initial prayer for immediate help. I continued to pray and live right every day after that, and it only got better! But remember when I asked for immediate help and long term help? The immediate help couldn't have been much more immediate and everything worked out perfectly. The long term help came from the wireless reseller. Not only is he making me a permanent partner within a couple of months, but while he was at another out-of-state job in Louisiana, he met an investor that was looking for a wireless Internet company to setup an infrastructure in Shreveport, LA, one that could service 60,000 users, including a military base. While talking with my partner, the investor asked if he had a business plan for his wireless business that he was starting here in Michigan. He, in fact, had it in his back pocket at the time, and was able to show it to him. It included cost breakdowns, phases of development and expansion, and so on. He was impressed and told him that he could have the money within a day of whenever he would be ready to get started in LA. So, within 6 to 8 months from now, I am going to be a big part of a very long term project and very large wireless Internet business with a guaranteed client base of 60,000 people, not to mention a multi-city, high speed wireless business here in Michigan! Something like this just doesn't get handed to people. There is NO way that it could be anything else but God intervening in my situation and doing exactly what I asked him to do: provide immediate financial help for my family, as well as meet our long term financial need, and do it in such as way that it would be a miracle that only He could do. Remember when I challenged God to impress me with a miracle? Well, He did EXACTLY that! I get chills just thinking about how he connected all of the dots for me and intertwined each of the miracles together so that everything happened for a reason, and not only benefited me, but when I asked for help for my brother's situation, he combined my miracle with one for my brother!
Oh, I almost forgot… through all of this, I also asked God to heal my Dad of his sickness. He has been ill a very long time, where he has a low oxygen level and gets tired very quickly. For a long time he hasn't been able to do very much of anything for any length of time. Today, he told me that he finally feels human and came out the other side! This is huge! I am thanking God for this miracle and accepting it as a miracle of healing for my Dad. He has been to all kinds of doctors and specialists, both here and out of state, but no one can find the cause or fix the problem. I am claiming this as an answer to prayer and a miracle of healing for my Dad.
Now that I have seen what I have seen, I feel like Doubting Thomas. I needed to see the nail-scared hands and touch His wounds to believe, but at least I believe. Even though it took a little more for Thomas to be convinced that Jesus did what He said He would do, at least he finally believed and was saved. He went on to be a great Apostle for Jesus. I pray that I can be at least a fraction of that for Him.
I hope my testimony has helped you in some way to see that we do have a choice, and that God will do what we ask of Him (if it is in His will), and if we trust in Him and turn to Him. He can and will perform miracles in our lives! God loves us and wants to have a loving relationship with each of us. If God will grant ME a miracle (knowing the state that I was in), then I know He will do the same for YOU! You just have to trust in Him, have faith, and just ask!
How To Manifest Miracles Now
The universe is nothing but a big bowl of energy. Energy that attracts and repels. That is how dreams are either manifested or avoided. To better illustrate this concept, imagine carrying a walkie-talkie.
Al though two people can be miles and miles apart, they can still talk to each other. How can that be, since there is no connection between one another? The illusion is that they are separated, however, the truth is, they are still connected invisibly by a stream of energy.
Depending on the strength of the frequency, the louder and clear they can communicate with one another. That is assuming that both are communicating on the same channel. Life operates the same way. When we have a desire, we are sending a frequency to the universe, and the universe response to us immediately.
Most people would argue that their requests are not being granted. The truth is, that each request is always granted, what they don't seem to understand is that their request is either not clear, or that they may be operating on a different channel, or frequency. You may ask, how could that be? Simple.
On a conscious level we send our request. On a unconscious level we decide which channel we are communicating on. For example, "more money" might be set on channel 3. So consciously people would be broadcasting, "I desire more money." The challenge is, they are broadcasting it on channel 5.
That being the case, what governs the channels unconsciously? Our beliefs. The universe is always giving you that which you "believe" you deserve, not that which you desire. When what you desire and what you believe are the same, the universe will manifested it immediately? Why, because all you need to do is ask, and you shall receive.
So how do we change our channels unconsciously so that it will match our request? The same way we created them. We created our beliefs by using life experiences that we attached a meaning to. For example, we asked someone to dance and the person said no. The truth, is, there are many reasons why that person said no. It could be that she/he had a partner, or that she/he was shy. Who knows, she/he may really wanted to dance with you but was embarrassed. Notice that the reasons had nothing to do with you. However, most people take things personally or just add their own story.
In this case, since the person might have felt rejected, he/she might have thought that there was something wrong with him/her. And since the feeling was not pleasant, the person uses that as a reference point which stops him/her for asking someone else to dance.
So later on, he/she wants a loving relationship which can be broadcast on channel 7, however, his/her beliefs operates on channel 2 which avoids relationships for fear of being hurt.
So to change that belief the person would need to change the channel to let's say 4 which might be, "giving a chance to just meet someone." Once they see how the universe brings someone into their space, use that as reference for future request. That way a new belief is being cultivated so in the future, that person is operating on a frequency that is more consistent with the frequency he/she is broadcasting consciously.
That is why the rich gets richer because once they have attuned themselves to the frequency of abundance, they simple keep attracting more of that abundance which solidify their belief. It becomes a never ending cycle.
And that is what the Manifest Mircacles Online Video Class teaches. How to align yourself into that space where you become a miracle maker.
Reflections On A New Image
Occasionally I have an identity crisis. I think that's good. From time to time I have to ask myself questions like: Who am I? What am I doing? Do I like doing it? Am I good at it? Will it help the world? and How does the world know I'm doing it?
It began this time when I asked a friend and colleague to help me with the process of reexamining my business card and letterhead. Since my last printing, I had expanded the way I work with voice, conflict and aikido, and I wanted my visual image to reflect the changes.
I thought it would be simple. She'd take all my questions and resolve them in some way that would be clear, concise, and visually pleasing. She did - but it wasn't simple, and I wasn't prepared for what lay ahead.
When she showed me her ideas I literally stepped back, wide-eyed, and almost stumbled over my chair. She presented a new, much more powerful image of me and my work. It was very different from the look I'd grown accustomed to, and it simultaneously shocked and delighted me. It also began an internal process of discovery that has been quite interesting.
Aikido and Power
I thought I knew who I was. I just had some questions about how to visually integrate the different aspects of my work - voice, aikido, conflict resolution - into a coherent package. But I had a basic image that I'd been using and that functioned pretty well. As it turns out it wasn't the whole me, nor was it the whole of my work. In the Japanese martial art Aikido there are two central elements. One is learning to flow and blend with energy. The second is the power you gain when that happens. Aikido is a very powerful martial art. It is not resistant, but it is not passive. Verbally, we use aikido when we are clear about our position while acknowledging others, and when we use words to connect instead of attack. I have always identified with the flow of aikido but found it more difficult to engage its power. Similarly in life I find it easy to blend (listen, acknowledge, agree) but more difficult to use power (state my position, ask for what I want, say no). My image on paper reflected that too.
In my aikido practice - and in life - I'm learning to be more powerful, and it's fun. I throw harder, and I communicate more powerfully. But it's not always easy because my image (both of myself and reflected in others) says that I'm a "nice" person. And that "nice" image conflicts with a "power" image. Powerful people aren't always nice, and nice people aren't usually powerful. But is it possible to be both - to blend and be powerful at the same time? In fact, aikido's message is that true power lies in blending. Power without blending is destructive. And to blend without power is to lose our center.
Now back to my image control problem. The graphic reflection of my work initially challenged my self image. But the timing was perfect. Just as my work was evolving to include the powerful aspect of aikido, my colleague captured that power and clarified it graphically.
One of life's ongoing conflicts is the question "Who am I?" Both personally and organizationally we need to address this conflict periodically and to ask ourselves who we are and whether our inner and outer images are accurate. To flourish as an individual or a corporate entity, this kind of clarifying conflict is vital.
Annie Dillard said: "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." We all need to revisit our image on occasion, because it forces us to ask the important questions that must be asked if we're going to create the life - the organization, the school, or the company - we want, one that is uniquely ours and that we love. Our ultimate power is not the power to control how others see us but to appreciate and bring to light the undiscovered parts of ourselves. As we move forward in life, our evolution has a natural flow to it. Am I enjoying my work or am I struggling? Do I create my life anew each day? What energizes me? Where am I going and to what end? Important questions for all of us this year, this day, this moment.
Build Confidence With Strategies That Really Work
Wouldn't it be grand if we could just wake up in the morning, brush our teeth and put on our confidence for the day?
Well, for those of us who don't have a drawer full, here are 4 simple strategies that will help you build confidence.
1. Accentuate the positive.
Be your own best friend. What do you tell a friend who's tried something new, whether or not it turned out well? At least you tried something new- good for you!
Accentuate the effort it took in doing something, rather than the final outcome. (You'd do it for your best friend, wouldn't you?) We all have limitations. The key is to accept that you have them without dwelling on them.
2. Don't be afraid to take some risks.
When you are about to embark on a new experience, do you spend your time worrying so much about the outcome you aren't enjoying the moment? If you look at new things in your life as a chance to learn something, it opens up the possibility of you becoming good at that something.
If you spend your time dreading the outcome, you'll turn any opportunity there might have been into a failure. What's more, we can't grow when we are frozen with fear. Don't set yourself up to fail. If you do, look at number one, again!
3. Use self-talk to keep assumptions away.
We all use self-talk. The key is to use it in a way that we don't form bad thoughts that can lead to permanent doubts. Catch yourself using negative self-talk and cancel it with something positive and not based on assumptions!
Build confidence by not expecting perfection from yourself at all times. You can only do your very best at something. Nobody can do everything perfectly, so why do you assume that you should be able to?
4. Learn to rely on your self-evaluation.
If you always rely on the opinion of others, you'll always be wondering what they think! That does nothing to build confidence - it tears it down, by giving away your personal power to others.
Focus on the real you, inside, to find out how you feel about your own actions, how you've been doing your job, etc. You'll be developing a strong sense of who you are.
It's important to remember that no one can be self-confident all of the time. In fact, you'll build confidence faster and easier once your realize that.
Most people with low self-esteem or who lack in confidence are that way because of unrealistic expectations. They expect more from themselves than they do others.
A person with low self-esteem will think nothing about calling him or herself a 'stupid idiot.' They wouldn't dream of saying that to someone else. To build confidence it's a good idea to be your own best friend.
How To Ignite The Success Forces Within You
Mediocre people choose lives of mediocrity. It's not that they aren't smart enough..or lucky enough...or attractive enough.
People who live lives of excellence, on the other hand, make excellent choices (I'm not saying they don't experience setbacks - I'm saying they approach their day differently).
Imagine with me for a moment: what if there was a way to Ignite the Success Forces within you? Would you practice it?
If we knew something about the difference between those who live in mediocrity and those who live, move and breathe in excellence, do you think that could help us to have more success in our lives?
You bet it could.
So, then: How Do We Ignite the Success Forces Within Us?
The answer may seem somewhat hidden, but I assure you: it is not hidden to men and women of success and achievement.
If you want to have real success in your life, then you absolutely MUST move from moment to moment with a SENSE OF URGENCY.
Have you ever seen a boxer accidently bump heads with his opponent and get a cut over his eye?
I have. And let me tell you: once he gets that cut under his eye, he starts moving with a sense of urgency...big time.
Why? Because he knows the referee can now stop the fight at any moment.
You need to start attacking each hour and minute of the day with the same sense of urgency.
If you never made time for your personal vision, or never followed through on your goals to get in shape and lose weight, and I came along one day and put a gun to your head and said I'll pull the trigger if you didn't get your things accomplished in the next 4 hours, do you think that would motivate you and make a difference?
Some of you may say no it wouldn't...but I'm guessing most people would agree that they'd move with a greater sense of urgency.
It is this type of self-motivation that will move you further and faster than you ever did before in your life.
Approach your day in this way and in no time you'll begin to see a new person staring back at you in the mirror.
Living in a state of urgency tells the mind that you are going to be relentless until you meet with success.
Urgency provides immediate focus to the tasks that must be done. Before you know it, momentum builds and carries you towards achievement.
Waking up at 5:00 am each morning to some would be unimaginable; to me it is my way of preparing to be an effective mom, mentor and business owner.
With urgency, you perform at a higher level of accomplishment.
It becomes unacceptable for you not to.
Urgency creates a reality that anything is possible or attainable and this is where your creative imagination will uncover a way to make it happen.
Approach your day, your business and yourself as though
your life depended on it.
Because it does!
Only you can decide what you would be willing to do.
Decide today and then act on it with urgency. Success will follow.
Enjoy the day,
Laura Roman Lopez
The Biggest Secret
I'm going to share a secret with you now, so just come a little bit closer.
It's a big secret and I'm going to have to ask you to not tell anyone though, please. I know I can trust you on this.
The thing is, if you did tell anyone, particularly a therapist you might shatter their ego and perhaps they are not as ready as you are to be let in on this little secret.
I do a lot of work one to one with people, and after a session, or some times later, they will say to me, "I can't believe you made me do ..." or "I can't believe you made me change ..."
And this is in spite of me telling them before a session, "I can't make you do anything you don't want to do, you are the one that does all the work here."
In fact, it's not just in therapy session, but it's in life you hear people say, "You made me ..."
You must have heard people saying it, "You made me drop that" "You made me lose that" "You made me feel that." I know I have. In fact, I know I have even said things like this, I probably still do on occasion!
See, as a therapist, I don't actually make you do anything. I can't make you do anything you don't want to do. If I could then I'd be retired by now as the most famous therapist on the planet!
I just act as a guide; a facilitator if you like, helping to get you to your chosen destination.
When you go on a car journey somewhere unfamiliar you take a map book right? (And yes, for our more modern and technically astute readers you may be using Satellite Navigation, but some of us still use maps, so just substitute Sat Nav for map here.:) )
Does the map book get you there?
No. It does not.
You use the map book and it guides you there. It tells you the route to take, but you actually get yourself there.
You could ditch the map and just go by gut instinct, but it'll probably take you much longer to get there, if you got there at all. And who knows where you would end up on route!
This is how it works with therapy sessions.
The therapist is the map, and you are the driver.
As a therapist, I use my skills, my knowledge and my experience to guide you safely through the quagmire to your chosen destination. You could make the journey yourself, and some people do, but it can take longer and be a much more treacherous route.
Of course, this doesn't just apply to therapists though; it can apply to any area of your life. You can use the knowledge and experience of experts to get you to your goal quicker.
If you take up a new hobby or sport, you don't tend to sit in a corner and try to work it all out yourself. You will normally go for lessons or at the very least get a book by an expert. When you start a new job, you are generally taught by an "expert"; someone who already knows the ropes.
In effect, you model the expert, learn how they do it and then do the same. Kids do it all the time. It's how they learn. Ever noticed how your kids always pick up those annoying habits from you; the ones you really didn't want them to have?
For modelling to be truly effective, instead of just copying what a person is doing, you must learn what is going on in their heads and copy that too. You need to understand their mental processes in order to effectively model their results.
If you are learning to break a wooden plank with your bare hands, it's no good thinking about your shopping list whilst going through the motions. You have to copy the mental processes and then you will shatter the wood.
Whatever your goals in life, use a "map book" to help you get there. Model an expert and your journey will be much easier and safer.
The Solution Within
It's quite amazing how many people go through their lives with very little thought as to where they are heading with it.
There is an accepted lifecycle assigned to everyone and most of us seem to just fall into it and 'live' it out as if there was no alternative.
There are some truly disturbing statistics about people's lives, most of it relates to their financial status at retirement time but I won't scare you with that, you can research it by yourself if you have not heard it all before. But what is even more disturbing is the quality and 'purposeless-ness' of their lives which is difficult to measure or put into statistics, yet is all around us.
I don't want to point fingers at anyone, all you have to do is look around and you'll see what I mean. I often look at people with drug and alcohol problems or even history of selfharm, suicide. I think it is getting worse and I just couldn't help myself from wondering why that is.
I don't claim to know all the reasons for it or be an expert in this field, however, I have a keen eye and lived enough, both in years and experience, to have found some of the common reasons why that is and what some of the solutions might be to this problem.
But the way I see it, one of the biggest problems is this lack of purpose people find in their lives. The other is the lack of time or, for one reason or another, commitment to finding out about it.
It is not easy to stop and look at one's life and it is even more difficult to face up to the reasons why someone's life may have no purpose or is 'in a mess'. The lack of unbiased, friendly and in some cases anonymous help make this even more difficult. I haven't done any research (yet) on how good free, anonymous phone-in help lines are. But I would not be surprised if they were very, very busy. I say this because of a personal experience I had as a young university student.
I had some problems in my life and thought there was no one I could talk to. So, after some struggle within myself I decided to drop in at the university's own counseling service. I'd explained that I had some problems I really needed to discuss with someone. They started asking my name, address, what course I was attending etc, etc, etc. Two minutes into this 'conversation' I thought to myself "hang on, I don't want to be a statistic, I just need someone to talk to... now." It was hard enough to come up with the courage and come to a complete stranger and own up that I do have a problem that I don't think I can solve on my own and need some else's help, let alone being quizzed about things which should not really matter, not just now anyway.
So, I promptly turned around and left without saying much. I don't think they'd kept my record, need to keep the paperwork down, you know... Anyway, I got myself an ice cream, two scoops just to be on the safe side and had a loooong walk in the city churning over thoughts after thoughts in my head. It was one of the worst and best days of my life. The worst because I realized I was only a number at the university and I did not get the help I needed so very much and I also realised I did not have anyone close enough to talk to about my problems. And the best because in the long walk I'd allowed myself some 'time-out'. Allowed myself to stop and think about what was happening to me, why I was having the problems I was so desperately seeking solution to and why I felt so alone. I'd found time enough to clear my head and find the solution from within... I can't remember what route I took, where I ended up walking to. But I can clearly remember every thought I had on that day and this was more than 20 years ago...
Since then I've learnt to rely more on my own abilities and realised that all solutions have to come from within. You are the only person who knows everything about yourself and this makes you the only person qualified to find the right solution for your problems. Sometimes it seems easier to try and find someone to help you, in a sense put the responsibility on them. But to be as blunt as I can, you are the only person to whom your problems matters the most. It is good and you should discuss things with others, use as them as sounding boards, source for inspiration and encouragement but at the end of the day you have to solve your problems from within. You have to look at your life and find a direction and purpose for it.
A Silent Night Not At My House
People say, as they get older their hearing is not what it used to be. I have found this to be true for myself. The older I get, and I plan to get as old as I can, the more I hear noises in the middle of the night. Noises, I might add, that I have never heard before.
I'm not against noise. Personally, I try to make as much noise as possible. I'm just against noise not orchestrated with my sleeping habits.
And at this juncture of my career, sleeping has become a habit. In fact, I might describe it as an addiction. I tried breaking this addiction once but my wife complained I was just becoming crotchety.
When I was younger, I didn't need as much sleep as today. Some experts opine that as a person gets older they don't need as much sleep as they used to. I find this absolutely, positively untrue. I need more sleep today than I have ever needed in my entire life.
Actually, what I really need is to be able to sleep all night without disturbance. My definition of disturbance is anything I hear when I am trying to go to sleep
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