Divorce Articles
Divorce Overview
(category: Divorce, Word count: 122)
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Divorce is not just a termination. It's a beginning.
Maybe your friends of the family or people at work will be going through its own set of changes as you face others with your new civil status.
Divorce may be defined as a termination but it is the start of new beginnings and the introduction of a number of changes in both you and your children's lives.
Is divorce for you?
Before that, if you are reading this and are in the process of considering divorce, take a moment to think about several assertions. If you believe that you can accept the following assertions as true in your marital relationship, give the idea of divorcing your mate a second thought.
Are You Prepared For Your Child Custody Hearing
(category: Divorce, Word count: 498)
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The court plays a significant role in determining what is in the 'best interests' of your child. The court considers all aspects including physical, educational, spiritual, emotional as well as preferential requirements of a child, so it makes a study of homes of both parents, along with schools, location, neighborhoods and facilities, before making a decision on custody.
Although the courts have the best interests in mind, there can't be anyone more important in making the best decision for their children than parents. Parents should try and settle their Child Custody issues outside the courts. A custody decision arrived on your own with two agreeing parents is more desirable than the one which is disputed a determined by the court.
Preparing for the Child Custody trial, you should possess certain documents and information related to your children, which will help determine the best interests of your child. It is better if you maintained a record of your children's life about events which affect them, like visiting with the other parent, grandparents, doctor's appointment, school activities, family and religious activities, medical appointments and counseling dates, etc. You should support your position, by keeping notes with you regarding,
1) Parent's Home: This factors determines whether you can provide good surroundings and adequate shelter for your children, the size of the house, neighborhood, availability of help and babysitters, hospitals, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc. play a significant role in determining the best one for the child. Though not an important point, it does help make a good impression.
2) New Relationships: This is a comparatively irrelevant factor in determining Child Custody cases, the court will consider this factor if only the relationship makes any impact on the child's well being. If the new relationship does not play any important relationship then this point will not be relevant to determination of Child custody.
3) Status Quo: It is an important factor in determining custody case, if a child's parents reside in different districts, it in unlikely that the court will order to change the residence during the academic year, especially if the child is being properly brought up. If you want a change in status quo, you will be required to furnish a strong reason for this. A good example would be an issue with the current conditions unsafe for the child.
4) Child's Preference: A child's preference is not considered by the court since the court will not give a child to make a decision for himself, however this might not be the case if the child happens to be a teenager and possess enough power to think and evaluate position.
5) Parent's Availability: Full time parenting has an advantage over working full time for supporting oneself. However, the court might not deter from giving you the custody only because you need to work to support yourself and your child.
These are just a few things to consider while preparing for your Child Custody case.
Successful Parenting After Separation
(category: Divorce, Word count: 558)
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Separation is a challenging time for many parents because it is an adjustment to a new way of life. There are both positive and negative factors to separation and the corresponding changes, but one of the issues that can arise is the differences that parents may have in the ways that they parent the children. The key point or focus that parents need to address is that they must put the best interests of the children first, and that their role is to continue to be the best possible parents to their children, even though they no longer live in the same home.
In order to put the interests of the children first parents that are separated need to consider the following issues, and determine how they can accomplish the goal of putting their kids first and provide love, safety and security for their children.
Communication
Maintaining the lines of communication is critical to continue successfully parenting the children. Many incorrect assumptions are made that the other parent is aware of scheduling changes, school events, outings or other issues affecting the child. Often parents expect children to be the messengers between them, and this is a very difficult and emotionally harmful role for you child to have to play. Parents should discuss and determine a method that will allow them to continue to communicate about the children and to work together to make decisions in the best interests of the kids. This communication may be done by fax, email, voicemail, phone calls or
face-to-face meetings, depending on the level of comfort or conflict.
Flexibility
No matter how carefully you plan or schedule your life there are always things that come up out of your control. As parents it is important to realize that this can happen for you, your ex-spouse and your children. Try to be as flexible as possible and allow the other parent and the children to have time together whenever possible.
Joint decision making
If you are able to communicate as coparents it is important to keep in mind that joint decision-making is usually in the best interests of the children. For difficult or major decisions it is helpful to get the other parent's input and opinion to prevent further conflict down the line. Most parents want to be a part of their children's lives even if they don't live in the same home as the children, and using a joint decision making process helps them stay connected to the children and helps to provide a sense of security for the children.
Stay positive about the other parent
It is important to allow the children to have the most positive relationship that they possibly can with both of their parents. The more positive, respectful and civil that Mom and Dad can stay with each other the more comfortable, secure and stable the children will view their new lives. Children need to understand that separated parents are still Mom and Dad, and will still continue to be a part of their lives, even thought they live in different homes or even in different communities.
Keep explanations to children as simple as possible, and avoid any negative comments about the other parent. As separated parents stay flexible, communicate openly about the children and allow maximum contact between your children and the other parent.
Child Custody In And Out Of Court Settling Of San Diego Divorce Cases
(category: Divorce, Word count: 883)
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With the increase in the number of San Diego divorce cases, there comes a complication of the issue of child custody to an extent that could not have been imagined before. A San Diego divorce case does not entail just the problem of the separation of the two spouses, but also the division of assets, assigning child custody and handling the taxes in a beneficial way for the divorcing parties. Because of the legal complications of the San Diego divorce cases and the associated child custody hearings, lawyers find themselves getting closer and closer to the separating couple, to the extent of becoming some sort of personal advisors. On many occasions, the lawyer is the only one to be able to properly deal with the complexities of a San Diego divorce. A San Diego divorce can become so stressful that the members of the couple end up losing control of their behavior, especially when child custody is at stake.
The issue of child custody may appear during several stages of a San Diego divorce case. For one thing, given the delicate nature of the situation, the attorneys may advise the couple to settle child custody out of court, so as not to leave the final decision in the hands of a judge that does not personally know the family and their circumstances. However, the question of children can be so hard to agree on, that the parents may just decide to leave it up to the court and then a large portion of a San Diego divorce trial will focus on child custody. According to the judges, the toughest question to settle during a San Diego divorce is precisely whom to leave the children with. Usually, a San Diego divorce and the associated child custody battle will be settled in favor of the mother.
The ruling passed by the judge may not be the final word in a San Diego divorce case though. After the confrontation in court, the struggle of the San Diego divorce can continue unofficially and may even take on violent forms. Especially as regards child custody, things can get rough, as one of the parents may decide to by-pass the decision made during the San Diego divorce trial and kidnap the child from the custodian parent. Although this is not the norm, it can happen that emotionally unstable parents feel the decision of the judge to be so unjust that they have to take the issue into their own hands. The kidnapping is possible because the child will trust the non-custodial parent, so the little one may be taken away without much ado. If there is a need for a stronger confrontation, the threat of fire weapons may be used, which is possible in the case of a San Diego divorce given the extensive availability of fire guns in California.
When the situation gets aggravated to such an extent, it is usually only the divorce lawyer that can intervene. The attorney will first establish the legal framework for getting the child back to the custodial parent. In order to do this, the lawyer will go back to the judge of the San Diego divorce trial and ask for a restraining order against the non-custodial parent, thus emphasizing the danger that he/ she represents for the child. The lawyer will then make use of his professional connections with the police, detective agencies, and the district attorney's office in order to trace the parent who took off with the child. These are resources that are not readily available for the custodial parent. Once the kidnapper parent has been located, the lawyer will try to establish a channel of communication with him, either by entering into dialogue with the kidnapper, or by putting the two parents into contact with each other. If the child is thus recuperated, the attorney has to secure that the custodial parent and child will be protected from the repetition of the deed. It is only after child custody has been thus settled that the San Diego divorce case can be considered closed.
San Diego divorce cases, just like all divorce cases around the United States, have become more numerous and more stressful for the parties involved. There seems to be a larger degree of alienation between the feelings and wishes of the family going through the separation and the results achieved in court. This happens because of the high degree of specialization of the divorce cases, which makes it impossible for the members of the couple to handle the separation and the associated settlements themselves. Because of this reason, all will be decided during a legal case, where -attorneys will argue for the two positions and an unknown judge will pass the final ruling. Not surprisingly, one of the two parties, if not both, will find the resolution of the case suboptimal, or even traumatic. This feeling of frustration, combined with the general high stress level associated with any divorce, may lead to violent acts, such as the kidnapping of children. In this situation again, it is the -lawyers and judges that will locate the culprit and assign the appropriate punishment. The two spouses turn from lovers into warring factions.
5 Ways To Numb The Financial Pain Of Divorce
(category: Divorce, Word count: 578)
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Whether it comes before or after the papers are signed, economic hardship is all too familiar to many couples who divorce. Following a few financial guidelines can ease the burden during this difficult time.
Each year, 1 million Americans divorce. More than 80 percent of divorcing couples cite "debt and financial distress" as the primary factor in the dissolution of their marriages, according to an American Bar Association survey, and studies find that most families suffer a financial decline following a divorce. By taking steps to protect credit, families can come through in much better shape. Bills.com, a national consumer finance portal, encourages divorcing couples to take the following steps:
1. Accurately assess debts and liabilities. First, see yourself as your creditors do. Online (see http://www.myfico.com ) or by phone, you can request a "tri-merge" credit report (a summary from all three major credit reporting bureaus). Note all of your existing shared and individual liabilities. Settle (or get a judgment) on how you'll allocate these responsibilities.
2. Plan on how to handle your home. If you own a home, the mortgage is likely your most significant monthly payment. Be certain you understand how you'll resolve monthly mortgage payments, and how you'll divide the home's value - whether one partner buys out the other now, or the home is to be sold after children are grown.
3. Budget for payments. Create a detailed budget, based on your new income level, and use free cash flow to pay off debts. Most people find the most efficient way to pay off debts is to first pay off smaller bills - starting with under $100 - then pay off loans and unsecured debt, such as credit cards, beginning with the account with the highest interest rate.
4. Make sure your ex-spouse is making his or her payments. If possible, make provisions in the divorce agreement for reporting on resolution of significant debt. There are important implications for you personally if your spouse does not meet his/her end of the bargain on liabilities allocated through the divorce proceedings.
Call all creditors for shared accounts (credit cards, gas cards, department store cards, phone cards, etc.). Close the accounts if you are not carrying balances, or remove your name from jointly held accounts. Remember that for jointly held credit cards, and for any other debts incurred during the marriage in community property states, you have shared liability - and thereby share any potential negative credit rating impact. This means that if your spouse does not make payments after the divorce, it could come back to haunt you - and your credit rating.
If you owe back taxes, be aware that the IRS does not have to honor a decision from a divorce judgment. Consult a tax expert to help with your divorce tax planning.
5. Focus on rehabilitating your credit and financial health. Begin a savings plan. Reinvest any proceeds or equity that come out of the divorce proceeding, and be especially cognizant of building yourself a retirement fund for the future.
If you find yourself in trouble during this stressful time - in which you must make many financial decisions - seek help immediately from a reliable, professional debt resolution firm. Be sure to investigate the company you choose to assist you, and seek out a company that operates for the consumer, which is markedly different from credit counseling, debt consolidation, and debt management firms.
Divorce Lawyer Key To Divorce
(category: Divorce, Word count: 281)
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Divorce refers to the dissolution or the legal end of a marriage. Every state has its own legal requirements governing when a divorce may be granted. These legal requirements may include a residency requirement, grounds or a reason for the divorce, among others.
The grounds for divorce may vary from being fault-based and no-fault based. All these requirements vary from state to state. Certain exceptions like 'Irreconcilable Differences' and 'Irretrievable Breakdown' are common no-fault grounds for divorce in almost all states. Your divorce could be the most important financial decision in life, as well as one of the most nerve wrecking. In such a circumstance, the key person who can see you through this is a divorce lawyer.
The divorce lawyer helps you in making extremely important financial and emotional decisions like child custody, property divisions etc. You must choose a lawyer well versed and specializing in Family Law.
You can look for a good lawyer by asking around, consulting your friends, relatives and acquaintances. A divorce lawyer with references will be more helpful than the one who is completely unknown to you and all people around.
When you first meet the lawyer, give all case facts. The fee quoted by the person will be a rough approximate as the amount of legal work involved is not very clear. Usually, they charge by the hour, and a retainer fee as an advance payment may be desired by the lawyer. You are at liberty to interview a few lawyers before choosing one to represent you in court.
To be on the safe side, it's a good idea to enquire from the lawyers the following facts:
Quiz Yourself Will You Survive Break Up
(category: Divorce, Word count: 302)
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I did everything possible to save our relationship. I gave in a lot, but I could not save. We will be breaking-up soon. That has already broken my heart. This relationship was made brick by brick over so many years. What all we did not do to make it last? But alas, we are breaking -up. This is a typical statement from a person facing break-up. How to survive after a break-up? Will you survive a break-up? Why not quiz yourself about it?
The immediate effect of the break-up would be pain. Will you be able to take the pain? The pain would go away slowly over a number of years, but the initial impact will be high. You will have to gather all your energy and tolerate the pain.
The second effect would be bitterness and blame. You will non stop think about the behavior of your ex partner and fix blame everywhere. You will recap all the arguments and fights and there will be a large amount of self-talk about how you were ditched. That will not be a pleasant experience. You will have to find way out of all this by spending quality time with friends, involving you in new activities, and keep yourself busy. Are you ready for that?
The major effect would be the temptation to join immediately with anew partner. This can work both the ways. Some people never wish to form a relationship again after undergoing the trauma, while some want to form a relationship as soon as possible to forget the earlier one. Both of theses choices carry danger. The best alternative is to wait for sometime and when you find your stability and self esteem back, try and form another relationship. Are you ready for this?
Divorce Help Vital Steps To Recovering From A Divorce
(category: Divorce, Word count: 382)
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The very first thing you must realize is that you will not die because of divorce. It has happened to millions of people before you and it will happen to millions of people after you.
Although divorce cause severe emotional pain, you must believe that you will get over it. Of course, it takes time, but you will eventually recover and find love again. It is very important that you understand this.
It is crucial to understand that the marriage is over. It is vital that you immediately let go of the other person and begin setting your own life in order.
You must not think about pain or dwell upon what was yesterday. The more you think about the past the worse it will hurt, and the longer it will take for you to recover.
You must think about yourself. You cannot allow yourself to just sit and waste away. You need to take hold of yourself and go on living.
In order to counter bad feelings, you must keep yourself busy - clean your house, wash your car, write out a budget, study or go to work. Keep yourself moving and working on the kinds of things that make you happy.
It is extremely important that you express the feelings of anger you are carrying or they will eat you alive. The best way to deal with anger is to know exactly what you are angry about and then choose the most suitable way to express your anger to the person that has made you angry.
Another important thing in recovering from a divorce is to eliminate the feelings of guilt from your mind as quickly as they come into sight. Simply tell yourself that your marriage did not work out. You must forget about your ex as quickly as you possibly can!
Of course all of this is much easier said than done, but these things you must do, and you must do them right away.
To recover from the trauma of divorce, you must allow enough time for the healing process to be completed and be positive that tomorrow will be a happier day for you.
Passion Ration Cited In Divorce
(category: Divorce, Word count: 461)
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The Passion Ration
The last straw to finalize divorce proceedings in a marriage is when adultery is committed. I would say the hurt is unbearable for the loving partner who has been betrayed. Innocent Parties like the children and family members automatically become involved to take their share of the heartache when a marriage collapses.
Many couples manage to salvage what is left of their relationship and carry on regardless fighting a lost cause. It is not easy to put your feelings and emotions on hold. Emotions are a powerful force that comes back with vengeance filling you with anger and in some cases hate.
All the respect and trust has gone leaving that once happy relationship a farce. They say you forgive and forget. Sorry having none of it, forgive yes forget no, mental scarring does not heal.
So much suffering is caused by a one night stand or affairs that normally do not last long after the guilty party has lost everything. Ask your self is it worth it.
I do not condone such behaviour where a man or woman strays outside the Marital Home to seek pleasure; only in some cases there are reasons why partners go down this road seeking comfort elsewhere.
May be the adulterer is not the guilty one. What of the spouse who decides to ration the passion in the bedroom leaving the partner no choice but to have his or her needs fulfilled outside the marriage.
You need to think twice before making a one sided decision about when you want to play or not play ball in the bedroom. Excuse the pun, but the ball is in your court to put back the missing link that is causing your marriage and partner to suffer.
They say true love never runs smooth, and if that being the case then for a little happiness give me the rough with the smooth any day.
If you have a problem regarding being bored in the bedroom, talk it over with your partner.
Rekindling a relationship is a made a lot easier if both parties participate in trying to understand why such actions were taken in the first place. Talking it through may help you both realize that the marriage is worth saving.
Counselling is out there for couples struggling to come to terms with the fact the marriage is over. Consider the children's feelings throughout any divorce proceedings, they will need time to adapt to having there whole life turned around.
Abide by your marriage vows, if out of spite you decide to sleep alone in the master bedroom then accept the fact that the guilty part is the Betrayer not the Strayer.
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