How To Prevent Divorce
The failure of marriage may be the cause of inconsistency among couples in communicating and interacting with one another both physically and emotionally. Couples tend to hate each other when they do not compromise each other's mistakes. This often leads to unhappy marriages and even result to divorce.
Adultery is one reason why a marriage can lead to a divorce. Records show that the involvement of the spouse in an adulterous affair could trigger the separation and the spouse has the legal chance to file for divorce cases. Some people may think that adultery has little impact on divorce. Some believe that it is a symptom for a divorce. Adultery is an act of abuse, damaging both the emotional and physical aspect of the relationship.
The crud could be one reason why a couple resorts to divorce. There are times that even when the couple lives together, both could no longer feel the presence of each other in terms of the emotional aspect of their relationship. The lack of love and affection triggers a couple in grueling conflicts and physical abuse, which leads to divorce. Here are some tips on how husbands and wives can prevent divorce.
1. A couple must deal on all conflicting issues. It could be better for a couple to talk about their problems and be open to one another's opinion. In this way, the couple may find ways on how they will resolve the problem.
2. Make some value on mutual interests. Couples who want to prevent divorce may find ways to have some moments where they can spend time and evaluate their emotions. They should make some effort to make it up for some lost time together.
3. A person always has the option to choose the person that could be right for him. It could be better if the person has the same perspectives and beliefs. This could lessen any irreconcilable differences that would lead to divorce.
4. Make the relationship work as the best of friends instead of just being partners. If there is friendship established within the marriage, there is a strong indication that the marriage can get stronger and even last forever.
5. Learn how to accept any disappointments and failures in the relationship. It can sometimes help when the couple knows all their limitations and imperfections in the marriage. Expressing anger is only normal but they need to make sure that it would only take a little time to release that kind of emotion.
6. It is important to take care of ones physical appearance. Staying beautiful and handsome can spice up the relationship most of the time. However, couples should stay healthy even when there is dieting involved in maintaining a perfect body.
7. Couples should be faithful and honest to one another. To make a long lasting marriage there must be fidelity and honesty in the relationship. They should not tell lies and should be courageous enough n bringing up any problems that may arise.
Always remember that couples are bound together because of love. Divorce may be prevented if couples will always put in mind that their marriage will last long enough and live up to the expectations that they promised to one another when the they exchanged vows. Those who do not agree on divorce are couples who believe that staying together gives them enough reason that marriage is very important as a family.
Reconcile Or Move On How To Decide
Should I Reconcile? You are older and wiser now, with an experience or two, and a decision to make.
Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live the dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you lived in the beginning. To return to 'Go' and start over with a new role of the dice.
Purhaps reconciliation is not your own desire, but forced upon you like a load of dirty laundry. Forced upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.
Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena? Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a decision to make.
How to Decide
Take a blank piece of paper, any paper, and if you are inclined you can create a spreadsheet or flow chart, it matters not the medium. Across the top draw a single line, and down the centre draw another line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side gets MOVE ON.
There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your marriage. This writer remembers being asked to make a list of all the possible uses for the lowly paper clip. Writing down one use leads to another and another, the list reached 50 ideas within two minuets. At another table their list numbered 110. The point my friend is to just jot down, pro and con. Your list might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.
At least three things will happen.
- You will come to a decision.
- You will have clearer understanding of the issues.
- You have the beginings of a course of action
Staying means taking action and making one more commitment to your marriage. That commitment is not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not prudent to take the easy road by ducking the issues. Face them head on. Pay the price in the currency of hard work and honest communication, without it couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage counselling, and in many cases joint financial counselling.
Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the "what if's". Moving on can be like passing Go and collecting your $200, knowing the next trip around the block might be better than the last.
Who Suffers More In A Divorce
The name divorce has been a household word for people who need it, or just take it as fashion on self-realization for the never ending illusion for the search of "Miss or Mr. Right" for a mate in life. Even in the confines of the most settled or established homes the word "divorce" hovers as a threat to the solemnity of conjugal partnership because of the environmental changes in trends, culture, ignoring some already practiced social conventions.
To be scared of divorce is no longer accounted in such places as United States, Japan, Korea, and Canada, United Kingdom and the commonwealth. As matter of fact, the rise in the U.S. Canada, United Kingdom and the Commonwealth countries is phenomenal that it becomes more of a fashion in today's society. There are still countries, more strongly attached to their traditional roots and values such as the Philippines and some other Asian countries that merely ignore away any proposition in the legislature to adapt divorce.
These countries though they could perceive the real need of divorce are simply not adept toward the impact of some harsh realities experienced by some people within the conjugal partnership. These people are beset by conditions and problems that can't be resolved and the only way out is to find a legal means to free from each other from the bondage of marriage's brutalities that connect husband and wife who find no solution to their differences. In the Bible, Jesus speaks of "divorce" in exceptional unresolved cases in married life. However, though, conditions in what he wanted to apply in the kind of divorce he taught is rampantly tampered, that of not marrying another again. Still sticking to the spiritual rule "Let no man put asunder."
Impact of divorce to the defunct family (husband, wife, and children), the effects carried about in that marriage (dividing material things acquired, rights covered by the law, such as custody to children, alimony, etc) is tremendous. Legal fights in courts find it so unwholesome to the growing kids. Other children who are growing up psychologically immature are thrown to traumatic state they suffer for the rest of their lives.
Since "divorce" is the dissolution of marriage, once it is approved, marriage became null and void in any circumstances it was presented. The annulment that rendered the partnership void does not however carry with it the effects that marriage carry. There are so many conditions that the law impose to protect the psychological, sociological and the emotional health of the each, especially the children, protecting their present and future lives. Allowing separated husband and wife to marry immediately after the divorce are of two different conditions. The man could remarry earlier whereas the woman has to wait for specified days under the circumstance of the law. This is due to the specifications as to the paternity of any child born to the woman after sometime she remarries.
To avoid impending confusion on paternal claim and responsibilities, further extent of time is set for her to remarry that will make definite assurance, the child has not been fathered by the divorced husband. In the presence of confusion because there was conflict in the time of remarriage, the second man should accept or conform to his paternal status to the child, and amenable to full support both moral and material. It passes thru legal process within the scope of duly accepted norm of conduct of the present husband. It may not necessarily undergo formal legal proceedings but what ever the concerned parties had agreed upon privately, may be ratified by the law. This sounds true to the divorced spouses. Any agreement between them in like manner will also be ratified.
There are two kinds of divorce, the absolute and the limited. Absolute divorce is the judicial terminations of marriage bonds because of grieve misconduct of either one or both parties after the divorce has been processed. It also concerns about other statutory causes arising after the separation. Both the divorced husband and wife become single again.
Limited divorce is merely like a separation decree. It terminates merely the cohabitation of concerned husband and wife. It does not state the dissolution of marriage, and their status is not altered.
Successful Parenting After Separation
Separation is a challenging time for many parents because it is an adjustment to a new way of life. There are both positive and negative factors to separation and the corresponding changes, but one of the issues that can arise is the differences that parents may have in the ways that they parent the children. The key point or focus that parents need to address is that they must put the best interests of the children first, and that their role is to continue to be the best possible parents to their children, even though they no longer live in the same home.
In order to put the interests of the children first parents that are separated need to consider the following issues, and determine how they can accomplish the goal of putting their kids first and provide love, safety and security for their children.
Maintaining the lines of communication is critical to continue successfully parenting the children. Many incorrect assumptions are made that the other parent is aware of scheduling changes, school events, outings or other issues affecting the child. Often parents expect children to be the messengers between them, and this is a very difficult and emotionally harmful role for you child to have to play. Parents should discuss and determine a method that will allow them to continue to communicate about the children and to work together to make decisions in the best interests of the kids. This communication may be done by fax, email, voicemail, phone calls or
face-to-face meetings, depending on the level of comfort or conflict.
No matter how carefully you plan or schedule your life there are always things that come up out of your control. As parents it is important to realize that this can happen for you, your ex-spouse and your children. Try to be as flexible as possible and allow the other parent and the children to have time together whenever possible.
Joint decision making
If you are able to communicate as coparents it is important to keep in mind that joint decision-making is usually in the best interests of the children. For difficult or major decisions it is helpful to get the other parent's input and opinion to prevent further conflict down the line. Most parents want to be a part of their children's lives even if they don't live in the same home as the children, and using a joint decision making process helps them stay connected to the children and helps to provide a sense of security for the children.
Stay positive about the other parent
It is important to allow the children to have the most positive relationship that they possibly can with both of their parents. The more positive, respectful and civil that Mom and Dad can stay with each other the more comfortable, secure and stable the children will view their new lives. Children need to understand that separated parents are still Mom and Dad, and will still continue to be a part of their lives, even thought they live in different homes or even in different communities.
Keep explanations to children as simple as possible, and avoid any negative comments about the other parent. As separated parents stay flexible, communicate openly about the children and allow maximum contact between your children and the other parent.
5 Ways To Numb The Financial Pain Of Divorce
Whether it comes before or after the papers are signed, economic hardship is all too familiar to many couples who divorce. Following a few financial guidelines can ease the burden during this difficult time.
Each year, 1 million Americans divorce. More than 80 percent of divorcing couples cite "debt and financial distress" as the primary factor in the dissolution of their marriages, according to an American Bar Association survey, and studies find that most families suffer a financial decline following a divorce. By taking steps to protect credit, families can come through in much better shape. Bills.com, a national consumer finance portal, encourages divorcing couples to take the following steps:
1. Accurately assess debts and liabilities. First, see yourself as your creditors do. Online (see http://www.myfico.com ) or by phone, you can request a "tri-merge" credit report (a summary from all three major credit reporting bureaus). Note all of your existing shared and individual liabilities. Settle (or get a judgment) on how you'll allocate these responsibilities.
2. Plan on how to handle your home. If you own a home, the mortgage is likely your most significant monthly payment. Be certain you understand how you'll resolve monthly mortgage payments, and how you'll divide the home's value - whether one partner buys out the other now, or the home is to be sold after children are grown.
3. Budget for payments. Create a detailed budget, based on your new income level, and use free cash flow to pay off debts. Most people find the most efficient way to pay off debts is to first pay off smaller bills - starting with under $100 - then pay off loans and unsecured debt, such as credit cards, beginning with the account with the highest interest rate.
4. Make sure your ex-spouse is making his or her payments. If possible, make provisions in the divorce agreement for reporting on resolution of significant debt. There are important implications for you personally if your spouse does not meet his/her end of the bargain on liabilities allocated through the divorce proceedings.
Call all creditors for shared accounts (credit cards, gas cards, department store cards, phone cards, etc.). Close the accounts if you are not carrying balances, or remove your name from jointly held accounts. Remember that for jointly held credit cards, and for any other debts incurred during the marriage in community property states, you have shared liability - and thereby share any potential negative credit rating impact. This means that if your spouse does not make payments after the divorce, it could come back to haunt you - and your credit rating.
If you owe back taxes, be aware that the IRS does not have to honor a decision from a divorce judgment. Consult a tax expert to help with your divorce tax planning.
5. Focus on rehabilitating your credit and financial health. Begin a savings plan. Reinvest any proceeds or equity that come out of the divorce proceeding, and be especially cognizant of building yourself a retirement fund for the future.
If you find yourself in trouble during this stressful time - in which you must make many financial decisions - seek help immediately from a reliable, professional debt resolution firm. Be sure to investigate the company you choose to assist you, and seek out a company that operates for the consumer, which is markedly different from credit counseling, debt consolidation, and debt management firms.
How To Choose A Divorce Lawyer In Toronto
Choosing a Divorce Lawyer or a Family Lawyer in large urban centers such as Toronto, Thornhill, Markham, Richmond Hill and Vaughan, can be very challenging due to the large amount of divorce lawyers and family lawyers practicing in these areas in Ontario.
Experienced divorce lawyers and family lawyers can help you through a very stressful time in your life and also help you avoid very costly financial and emotional mistakes. Very difficult and life altering decisions must be made, affecting many personal and important issues, such as child custody, child access or visitation, joint custody, child support, spousal support, property division, debt division, equalization of net family properties, the matrimonial home, separation agreements, among many others. Choosing the right divorce and family lawyer is the key to obtaining the best results in your divorce.
You and your children's rights and well being may be affected for many years in the future. Divorce and family laws are full of many legal technicalities and are frequently subject to legal interpretation and your divorce lawyer or family lawyer must be experienced in these areas. Issues of child custody and child support can profoundly affect your children's ongoing development.
If you or your spouse is considering divorce proceedings, it is essential that you consult a divorce and family lawyer to find out your rights and obligations. Do not sign anything or take any action that can affect you or your children's rights, without getting proper legal advice from a qualified family and divorce lawyer.
Hiring the right divorce and family lawyer requires more work than simply looking through your local yellow pages. You can start your search for a divorce and family lawyer by talking to friends and family and asking for referrals. Contact your real estate or business lawyer for a referral to a family and divorce lawyer. There are many other ways to find divorce and family lawyers as well. When you have found some, Google the divorce and family lawyers' names and read any articles they may have written.
Family and divorce lawyers should be chosen on the basis of their experience and years of practice. Does the divorce lawyer specialize in, or primarily handle, divorce, child custody, child access or visitation, joint custody, child support, spousal support, property division, debt division, equalization of net family properties, the matrimonial home, separation agreements and all other related family and divorce law issues. Lawyers who also practice business law, real estate, criminal law etc. are generalists and do not specialize in divorce and family law.
When you meet with a family and divorce lawyer, ask questions but, prepare your questions in advance - how is child custody, child access or visitation decided, what is joint custody or shared custody, how much will you receive or will you have to pay for child support and for how long, how does spousal support work, how will your property be divided and what is included, what happens to your home, who pays for your debts and loans, how much will it cost, what steps are involved in the process, how long will it take - can you settle or do you have to go to Court, what is a Separation Agreement -
Ask what the lawyer's philosophy is about negotiating a settlement or litigating (going to court should be a last resort).
The family and divorce lawyer should be explaining all this and much more to you at your first meeting. Make sure the divorce and family lawyer you choose, answers your questions and makes you feel that you and your case is important and not just another number. Your lawyer should not talk to you in legalize but in plain ordinary language so that you understand exactly what is going on and what will happen in the future. You must choose a lawyer who you feel comfortable with and with whom you can trust to reveal your personal and confidential information and someone who will not make you feel foolish or uncomfortable for asking questions about things you do not understand.
Your divorce and family lawyer should be compassionate and understanding due to the emotional issues involved. Many divorce and family lawyers have gone through their own personal divorces and have experienced your situation personally as well as professionally and may be in a better position to empathize with you and understand exactly how you are feeling and how they can help you better.
Credit And Divorce
Mary and Bill recently divorced. Their divorce decree stated that Bill would pay the balances on their three joint credit card accounts. Months later, after Bill neglected to pay off these accounts, all three creditors contacted Mary for payment. She referred them to the divorce decree, insisting that she was not responsible for the accounts. The creditors correctly stated that they were not parties to the decree and that Mary was still legally responsible for paying off the couple's joint accounts. Mary later found out that the late payments appeared on her credit report.
If you've recently been through a divorce - or are contemplating one - you may want to look closely at issues involving credit. Understanding the different kinds of credit accounts opened during a marriage may help illuminate the potential benefits - and pitfalls - of each.
There are two types of credit accounts: individual and joint. You can permit authorized persons to use the account with either. When you apply for credit - whether a charge card or a mortgage loan - you'll be asked to select one type.
Individual or Joint Account
Individual Account: Your income, assets, and credit history are considered by the creditor. Whether you are married or single, you alone are responsible for paying off the debt. The account will appear on your credit report, and may appear on the credit report of any "authorized" user. However, if you live in a community property state (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, or Wisconsin), you and your spouse may be responsible for debts incurred during the marriage, and the individual debts of one spouse may appear on the credit report of the other.
Advantages/Disadvantages: If you're not employed outside the home, work part-time, or have a low-paying job, it may be difficult to demonstrate a strong financial picture without your spouse's income. But if you open an account in your name and are responsible, no one can negatively affect your credit record.
Joint Account: Your income, financial assets, and credit history - and your spouse's - are considerations for a joint account. No matter who handles the household bills, you and your spouse are responsible for seeing that debts are paid. A creditor who reports the credit history of a joint account to credit bureaus must report it in both names (if the account was opened after June 1, 1977).
Advantages/Disadvantages: An application combining the financial resources of two people may present a stronger case to a creditor who is granting a loan or credit card. But because two people applied together for the credit, each is responsible for the debt. This is true even if a divorce decree assigns separate debt obligations to each spouse. Former spouses who run up bills and don't pay them can hurt their ex-partner's credit histories on jointly-held accounts.
If you open an individual account, you may authorize another person to use it. If you name your spouse as the authorized user, a creditor who reports the credit history to a credit bureau must report it in your spouse's name as well as in your's (if the account was opened after June 1, 1977). A creditor also may report the credit history in the name of any other authorized user.
Advantages/Disadvantages: User accounts often are opened for convenience. They benefit people who might not qualify for credit on their own, such as students or homemakers. While these people may use the account, you - not they - are contractually liable for paying the debt.
If You Divorce
If you're considering divorce or separation, pay special attention to the status of your credit accounts. If you maintain joint accounts during this time, it's important to make regular payments so your credit record won't suffer. As long as there's an outstanding balance on a joint account, you and your spouse are responsible for it.
If you divorce, you may want to close joint accounts or accounts in which your former spouse was an authorized user. Or ask the creditor to convert these accounts to individual accounts.
By law, a creditor cannot close a joint account because of a change in marital status, but can do so at the request of either spouse. A creditor, however, does not have to change joint accounts to individual accounts. The creditor can require you to reapply for credit on an individual basis and then, based on your new application, extend or deny you credit. In the case of a mortgage or home equity loan, a lender is likely to require refinancing to remove a spouse from the obligation.
Divorce Are You Feeling Cheated
Are you feeling relieved after divorce or cheated? After many divorces people feel happy while in many rather more cases they feel cheated. Why? Divorce it self is a very painful process and the times that lead to divorce are more painful. The question is why get the sense of feeling cheated after getting divorce? Let us talk about this.
Relationship demands giving - People give a lot to their marriage; most of them do it except few. Right from the development of relationship, a lot of time, emotional energy and physical resources are given to make it work. During marriage the investment goes higher. Most of the partners want the marriage to work. There are exceptions that unbelievably want to destroy because of psychological problems. When cracks develop in the marriage, lot more effort is made to save the marriage and when the marriage breaks after putting in so much effort, one feels cheated.
Is this true for all? This is not true for all. There are few individuals who don't give anything in marriage. They ask for it. The demand and contribute nothing. That is the game of selfishness played by them. So these people will never feel cheated. They will only feel bad that they lost an easy victim.
What should you do? The only way out is to forget the losses. Try to erase the past as much as possible. This will be difficult, but break the pain bit by bit. Work on it and it will go away one day. Try to forge another relationship and forget what went wrong. Cut your losses as soon as possible.
Divorce How To Do It Yourself
There are some things in life you will surely enjoy doing yourself: building a birdcage, making a sand castle, maybe even something as ambitious as buying a house. But self-filing for divorce can really be a headache if you don't know what you're getting yourself into. It may also be an emotionally painful experience, so make sure you have your ducks in a row before you research your options.
Here are a few tips on how to go about the important task of filing for divorce so it is hassle-free.
The reason you might file for divorce without the help of a lawyer or legal service is because it is simply a lot cheaper. The filing fee, to begin with, will probably be over $100 and if a response is filed, that number will only go up. It's understandable if you want to avoid any extra expenses, especially considering the financial and emotional toll a divorce takes on everyone involved.
But unless you have a strong grasp on what you're doing, then that lawyer or legal service might be a resource you regret not investing in. Nonetheless, here's how to file for divorce on your own.
There are a handful of requirements that you have to meet before you should even consider filing for divorce. In some states, you'll have to meet even more than the following requirements, but here's a basic idea:
"Whatever state you are filing for divorce in, you must have lived there for at least six months. As for county, your residency requirement is three months. (These state and county residency requirements may vary, depending on the region of the United States.)
"Do you have legal grounds to divorce? "Irreconcilable difficulties" is the most commonly cited reason for a divorce and it has an extremely broad definition, meaning it is rare that it's illegal for someone to file for divorce. If you've faced marital problems that have hurt the marriage and are irreconcilable, then you have legal grounds. There is also the option of "incurable sanity" that is only used in extreme circumstances.
"You will file for divorce in your county; the action for divorce must be presented in the court of your jurisdiction. It may difficult or a piece of cake to track down the proper court.
If your divorce is uncontested, it's fairly uncomplicated to file for divorce. It's when your husband or wife responds with a counteraction of some type that it starts to get rocky and a lawyer isn't really expendable. There are even online resources right now that allow you to do all your filing over the Internet; these usually cost money to use however.
In summary, to self file for divorce, you will need to fulfill the above requirements and file a petition for divorce with the correct court in your county and state. (More populated counties may have multiple locations that you'll have to review before filing.) Remember to check into your local requirements, for legal grounds and jurisdictions, so you aren't hit with any unpleasant surprises and hangups.
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