Parenting Articles

A Solid Foundation

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The early years of a child's life are some of the most critical in shaping who that child will become and what kind of life that child will enjoy. In essence, the first years of anyone's life are the foundation for everything else. Just like a house is built upon a foundation, so a child grows and blossoms on the foundation of their earliest years.

Regardless of what life looks like for a young child, a foundation is being built. It can be a poor foundation that leads to hardship and pain later, or it can be a solid foundation that leads to success and happiness.

If you are parenting a young child, there are many things you can and should be doing to create the best possible foundation for your child. It might sound too obvious, but the most important thing that parents can do for their children is to love them well. Loving your child can mean many things. One way every parent can love their child is by putting the needs of your child above your own needs and sacrificing things you care about or love to do in order to create a solid foundation for your child. Being a parent means that you may not get to enjoy a night out with friends every week or that you may have to spend your free time doing something other than your favorite hobby.

Providing a great foundation for your child and loving them well also means spending time with them. There is no way to substitute time spent enjoying your child and teaching them new things. Even the best day care situation in the world cannot replace parent-child time. Rearrange your schedule if you have to and commit yourself to prioritizing your child in your schedule. These early years are the foundation not only for your child's life, but also for your parent-child relationship. Nothing could be more important than focusing on that.

Parents love their children well when they show interest in the growth and learning of their child. Take the time to teach your child new things. Be the one that helps them learn to walk or potty train or say their first word. Build a foundation and a trust with your child where they know that you care about them more than anyone else does. Commit to helping your child learn to read. Make time for storytime before your child goes to bed.

Building a strong foundation for your child is not rocket science. It is simply choosing to be unselfish and to do all you can to make your child's life full of fun, safety and love. Do not forget that these early years are the foundation for everything else that will happen in your child's life. Do your part everyday to ensure that your child's foundation is better than okay.

Snatched In The Night What Every Parent Should Know About Home Invasion Abductions

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Home invasions have made the news recently as a frightening form of child abduction. This type of abduction is not new, but it is starting to become more common as traditional forms of child abduction are becomming less effective.

This type of child snatching has parents panicked and paranoid. After all, where is your child safe it not in their own home? However, very few parents understand that with a little safety training, this type of abduction can usually be prevented just as easily as other forms of child abduction.

How it works

An abductor will sneak into the child's home at night, attempting to gain access to the child. He or she will then either threaten the child with harm, or talk the child into coming with them. The child is snatched out of their bed, usually without a sound or commotion, and unfortunately, is rarely seen alive again.

What it depends on

This type of abduction, is obviously a stealth abudction. It is secretive, quiet, and depends on the child's compliance, in one form or another. They need silent kids, period.

Defeating it

Noise. Plain and simple. Compliance gets a child nowhere, they need to yell and make a ruckus. If a person did not intend to physically harm the child, this will just scare them off. Even if they did intend to harm the child, it is highly unlikely, that in the commotion, the abductor will choose to kill the child on the spot as opposed to run off. Silence with kids is death. Yelling and screaming is life.

Training your kids

It is important that you sit down and talk with them about this type of abduction. Tell them that if anyone ever awakes them in the middle of the night, they are to scream as loud as they can and call for help. They need to scream, kick the walls, knock over furniture, make as large of a ruckus as they can in order to yell for their parents and try to get away. If the person grabs them and try's to run off, they should hang onto doors, windows, whatever they can to resist. Teach children to do this even if the person says they will kill them if they make noise. Explain to them the reality outlined earlier, that they are just saying that to get compliance and will probably run off if you make noise. If you go with them, they might kill you anyway.

A parents role

If at all possible, encourage children, especially younger children, to sleep with their doors open at night. Parents should also keep their doors open, (when not engaged in extra curricular activities) so that they have a means to hear their child if they happen to scream in the middle of the night. Not only does this ensure you hear them in the rare event that someone is in their room, but it will also come in handy for the everyday night terrors and other needs that your little ones require your assistance for.

Friends don't come a knocking in the night...

What many parents don't seem to realize, more likely of a scenario than threats, is that the child willingly walks out with the abductor because it is someone the child knows. Around 60% of all children murdered are taken by a close friend or relative.

It is important to teach children to never go anywhere with anybody except their parents in the middle of the night. If someone awakes you at night, it doesn't matter who they are, you scream as loud as you can, and you get your mom and dad, no exceptions. Teach children that there is never any circumstance where someone they know would have a need to enter their room or retreive them at night without their parents knowing.

All parents should sit down at some point with their children and go over this subject. Explain to them all the points contained in this article, and make sure they understand. For added assistance, Global Children's Fund also publishes a book, "Something Scary Happened" which teaches children what to do in the event of this type of abduction. Have a happy and safe year!

How To Tell If You Have A Troubled Teen

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How can you tell if your teenager is at risk for developing drug or alcohol problems, depression, violence, suicide, pregnancy or dropping out of school? While many teens may actually face these problems, parents often find it difficult to tell if their child is having problems; many parents only find out that their teen is experiencing difficulty after it is too late. Many parents compare their child with other children as a way of not having to cope with their child's behavior. They might say things such as "oh, well, my child is not as bad as so and so", and so to them, they figure everything must be ok. While this might be tempting to do, it is not an action that should be encouraged. Instead, you should trust your instincts when they tell you something is not right, and try to help as soon as you can. Many teens are very good at lying, manipulating and twisting the truth for their parents; especially parents who are willing to turn a blind eye because they are not ready to face the truth. It is important to be strong and not let your child be the boss of your relationship.

It is true that most, if not all teens go through some hardships and rebellion while growing up, but how can you tell if this is just normal maturation or if your teen truly has a problem. There are several tell-tale signs that let you know if you are dealing with a troubled teen.

1. You have noticed that your child is becoming more and more secretive.

2. Your teen has sudden and uncalled for outbursts of anger.

3. Your teen regularly misses curfew and does not show up when he/she says they will.

4. They regularly lie about where they are.

5. They have changed their group of friends and does not want you to meet them. Usually the group of friends will lead to a distinct new appearance such as piercings or excessive black makeup and a negative change in attitude.

6. They steel money from you on a regular basis.

7. Their grades have dropped significantly or they lose interest in previous activities.

If you notice some of these in your child, perhaps you should take a closer look at what is happening in their lives. If you find that they are experiencing some sort of trouble, you should try to help them as soon as you can without appearing too pushy or domineering. Since this is a child's time for searching for independence they will not want to feel controlled by you. To get advice on how to talk to your teen you can contact local help centers or look for advice on the internet. And remember, while these symptoms can sometimes be serious, this is how teens behave, and not all kids are troubled kids!

How Can I Motivate My Child

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How can I motivate my child to study and get good grades? To do his homework? To succeed in school, so that he can go to the best college? To go to college? To practice playing the piano? How can I motivate my child to put in the effort needed to achieve his own goals?

What parent does not want to see their child shine, succeed and achieve? What parent doesn't want to see their child happy? We want to be proud of our child, enjoy his success.

I will never forget the day. My son participated in the science faire, and after winning the first place in the local science fair, was sent to participate in the California State Faire. In Los Angeles, thousands of children participated. Children and parents prepared for this events for a whole year, or even longer. Looking around me, I see teams bringing in their huge project boards. Excited parents accompanying their children, carrying their children's projects. An atmosphere of excitement everywhere. I felt honored just to be there, observe my son participate.

After all the efforts that went into this event, now it was the time for the award ceremony. Many thousands of people - participants, parents and guests, sitting in a stadium, watching. Now it is time for "our" category. First the "honorable mention" winner was called to the stage. Then - the 3rd place, 2nd place... and first place. It's my son's name. Can you imagine how I felt? I think that I practically took off and floated in the air. I remember saying "It is a good feeling". And people around me - congratulating me, participating in the joy, I heard one man say; "I bet it is".

This is the culmination of what we want. This wonderful feeling is what we want for our children and for ourselves. But how do we achieve this? How do we get our children to apply themselves? How do we get our children to understand what actions they need to take now for their future success?

4 key thing contribute to our child's motivation:

1. Importance and inspiration: The goal has to be an inspiring goal to your child, and has to feel that it is important for him to achieve the goal.

2. Possibility: The child has to know and feel that it is possible for him to achieve the goal. If the child has doubt that he can achieve the goal, or thinks that it is impossible, there is little chance that he will work towards the goal and apply himself.

3. Acknowledgment and appreciation, reward: It is easier to keep a child motivated when offering a tangible reward. Knowing that achieving the goal will meet with a tangible form of acknowledgment, appreciation and reward, will add this extra drive.

4. Persistence. The route towards any worthwhile goal includes some minor set-backs and disappointments. The child needs to learn to get up, brush himself off, and get right back on the horse.

When a child knows that a goal is important, feels that it is possible for him to achieve it, and is offered an incentive to work towards the goal, the chances are that he will be motivated to put in the effort needed to achieve the goal. Add to it persistence, and the results are as much as guaranteed.

Importance:

As parents, we always want our child to work towards a goad that inspires him. Help your child see the possibilities. Help your child dream big.

Don't wait until your child is in high school to start thinking about ways to achieve that. Would you like your child to get a good education, to succeed in school? Start early on. Encourage your child to do well in school. Tell your child stories about students who succeeded in school and their achievements that came as a result of this success. Explain what the advantages are, of getting a good education. Why is it worth it to make great efforts to get a good education? The key is to get your child to see the opportunity for himself. If your child gets the idea that it is important for you that he gets a good education and succeeds in school, you have missed the mark. You want your child to understand why it is important for him to do all these things.

I always told my children: when you get education, when you study, you invest in yourself. In addition to the doors that will open to you as a result of getting education, you become more knowledgeable. More intelligent. You become wiser. YOU.

Make sure your child hangs out with friends who are successful in school. When your child is young, it is easy to choose his friends. Later your child will choose his own friends. In order to have some control over this, do your best to get your child into a good school, and in that good school, into the honors programs. Children have a tendency to adjust themselves to their environment, and sometimes a healthy competition develops, which encourages the children to put in more effort.

One tool that mothers have used throughout the ages, is repetition. It is not enough to have one conversation with your child, explaining the value of applying themselves. You have to put together a "plan of attack". Prepare interesting reading material and movies about some role models. Provide biographies of people of great achievements. Research theater performances about role models, and take your child to watch them. Introduce successful people to your child. Do you have accomplished, educated people among your friends? Ask them to meet your child and talk about their success and how they achieved it. Have conversations with your child about his future, his goals, what does he want to be when he grows up? Repeat the idea you are trying to introduce to your child, in many different ways.

Possibility:

How do we bring our child to believe in himself? Affirmations are a very effective tool. Write down some affirmations that you think will best encourage and inspire your child. For example: "you are very smart and talented". "You learn very fast". "You have an excellent memory". "You can do it". It has been shown that affirmations are most effective when repeated 3 times. Choose one affirmation for a day and repeat it at least 3 times during the day. Can you get your partner to cooperate and do the same? The more people you can get to repeat the affirmation, the better the result. Have your child repeat the affirmation himself - at least 3 times.

Can you imagine how your child will feel, if he hears from everyone that day how smart and talented he is? Can you imagine the smile on his face? Do you think that there is any chance in the world, that he will not be encouraged?

Acknowledgment, appreciation, reward:

A close relative of the word "motivate" is "encourage". What comes to your mind when you think of the word "encourage"? The thing that comes to my mind, is praise. All of us, adults as well as children, respond well to praise, and feel encouraged when we receive praise. If you want to encourage your child to succeed, praise him and celebrate every action that leads in the right direction. Every small achievement. Most of us (including our kids) tend to be self judgmental. We criticize ourselves, and any small set back often seems like a serious failure. Your child will feel encouraged if his efforts are appreciated, and achievements are acknowledged.

Praise on the way to achieving the goal is important. In addition, making sure the child knows the rewards for achieving the goals will be significant. Determining what the rewards is, depends on you. You are the only one who can determine what is affordable, realistic for you, and very desirable for your child. The reward has to be age appropriate. In his article: Incentive plans for gifted, but unmotivated kids, Wayne Fujita has a few good suggestions.

Persistence:

Persistence is to a great degree a learned trait. Our children need to learn persistence, they need to learn that if we suffer a set back, we don't give up. Instead, we increase our efforts. Who can teach them that, if not us?

An effective tool to teach persistence, is story telling. Story telling can take the form of a book, a movie, a discussion. There are many inspiring books and movies available about people who persisted and achieved, against all odds. Keep your eyes open, and when you find an inspiring story, share it with your child.

Holding discussions with your child, is also very effective. When your child suffers a temporary set back, it will help him if you can put it in perspective for him. Knowing that a set back is minor, takes some judgment. Good Judgment is often a result of experience, and obviously children and young people need our help to develop good judgment. Explain to your child that this is just a minor, temporary set back. Help your child learn the lesson necessary to learn from this, and concentrate on preparing for the upcoming success. Encourage your child to concentrate on the goal, instead of any small set back on the way.

Just like parenting, inspiring and motivating our children is a life long job. If you start at an early age, put together a "plan of attack", use the "tools of the trade" and add a healthy amount of love, the results will come. Satisfaction is guaranteed.

Effective Strategies For Dealing With Diaper Rash

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Diaper rash is a really annoying baby problem. It can get out of control easily, and can make your baby miserable. Luckily, it can be controlled with a little effort on your part. Following are some remedies that worked well with my children.

Some babies are just more prone to diaper rash than others, and if yours is prone, you'll really have to keep on top of the problem. The most important thing you can do is change your baby's diaper regularly. Diaper rash is caused by the skin being constantly exposed to wetness, so changing frequently can prevent the problem. Most of the diaper rash ointments on the market are designed simply to protect your baby's skin from wetness, so they are great at preventing diaper rash. If your baby is diaper rash prone, you might want to use an ointment at every changing as a preventative measure.

But, what if your baby already has a raging case of diaper rash? As I said, most of the products labeled as diaper rash ointments are best at preventing diaper rash, not healing it. There are a few concoctions that can help cure a bad case of diaper rash.

The first is Maalox - yes Maalox. Put some liquid Maalox on a cotton ball and apply to baby's sore bottom. Let it dry a bit before diapering. For obvious reasons, don't buy the mint flavor, and don't use this bottle of Maalox for anything but treating diaper rash.

A second helpful treatment for diaper rash is an oatmeal bath. There are some good oatmeal bath products on the market, even some designed especially for baby. These work wonders on diaper rash. Usually one or two baths is all it takes.

Finally, I had great luck when I mixed diaper rash ointment with a little bit of hydrocortisone cream. About 3 parts diaper rash ointment to one part hydrocortisone. One caution here- check with your doctor before you try this one, since hydrocortisone cream is normally not recommended for use on children under the age of two years.

If these remedies don't work, check with your pediatrician. There may be some prescription products for extreme cases. But, the most important measure to take for diaper rash seems to be persistence. Keeping on top of the problem is your best bet for keeping the rash at bay.

Child Discipline What Really Works

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One thing I hate to do is discipline my son. He is such a good boy most of the time, but when he gets angry he is awful! Disciplining your child is one of the hardest things to do as a parent. It is important that they understand that you are in charge, not them.

I remember getting spankings until I was around 6 or 7 years old. I did everything I could to avoid making my mother and father angry. I haven't spanked my son that often, but I have had to pop him when nothing else would work. Today, parents are looking for alternative methods of discipline and avoiding the dreaded spanking.

By the time your baby is 4 years old, you should have already laid down basic rules, no more than 4 or 5. The most important part of setting the rules is to stand by them. Go over the rules with your child whenever they break one. And do not try to explain yourself to your child. You are the parent, what you say goes.

Praise your child on any good behavior they demonstrate. This is reinforce the idea that having good behavior is much better than bad behavior. We spend alot more time scolding them for the "bad" things they do than on the "good" things. A simple "Thank You" is beneficial to your child.

Saying "no" makes a child very angry. It means that they do not get their way or something they want. Use a firm tone with authority, not an angry one. Make sure your child understands that when you say "no," it means no. Don't give in if your child continues to ask or plead; just stand by your decision.

Help your child understand the consequences of their actions or choices. For example, if you are resting and your child is playing too loudly, you can give them the choice of sitting with you and reading a book or going to play in their room until you come to get them.

The one that my husband and I have started using is the "time-out." My son hates to sit still. If we have asked him to stop doing something or he yells, we tell him to go to the "time-out" room and think about his actions. Then we say when he is ready to talk about it, we sit down and talk. This works for most of his bad behavior.

There are many other alternatives; here is a list of sites for you to take a look at:

* * The Top 10 Tips for Disciplining Toddlers by Clare Albright

* * Positive Discipline For Toddlers and Preschoolers by Meg Berger, M.Ed.

How To Prevent Your Child From Having Problems At Daycare Or School

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Let's face it: As a parent or guardian, your child means everything to you. When putting your child through daycare or school, it is important to make sure that nothing goes wrong to harm your child - either physically or mentally.

Additionally, your child's health and safety should be one of your top concerns. If your child is enrolled in a day care or school program and something goes wrong, you're sure to feel upset or angry.

However, taking an aggressive approach and complaining with the daycare or school can sometimes make the problem worse rather than better. Rather, you should take preventative measures to making sure that your child will have a wonderful experience.

Below are some proven steps you can follow to making sure that your child doesn't run into any serious problem at daycare or school:

- Do not blame anyone before having solid proof or evidence. Work with your child's teacher or caregiver on coming up with several solutions to the problem and reaffirm your active role in your child's education. By being a problem-solver, you're not only showing that you're active and involved in your child's life, but also that you're a responsible individual who cares about coming up with solutions rather than winning arguments.

- Use subtlety when trying to probe the truth from teachers or caretakers. Try to find something worth praising or noting in the school or person who is working with your child. Starting the conversation out on a positive note shows that not only are you concerned about your child's well being, but that you also notice and appreciate the dedication and enthusiasm of the caregivers and teachers involved.

- Let your child tell you in his or her own words what's going on at daycare or school. However, you shouldn't rely on their explanation as the only one. Get information from teachers, classmates or even other parents. You'll find that there are several sides to the story, and the more you know, the more fully and accurately you can approach the teacher or caretaker and voice your concerns.

- Follow up with the people you've taken your complaints to and talk with your child to see how things have improved. If the situation hasn't changed, take your complaint to the next person up and repeat the steps above until a resolution has been made. Being informed and involved with your child's school shows that you're more interested in seeing quality results than making a one-time complaint and letting the issue sit while nothing is done to correct it.

- Try to keep the issue on the actual incident instead of the people involved. This helps minimize any later confrontations (between your child and another child, for example), and also helps the teacher focus on the problem and not the ones who started it. Also, don't forget or ignore your child's possible role in the problem.

As they say, it is best to prevent than to find a cure later. Always be sure to show your confidence in the daycare or school you enroll your child in. This way the daycare or school will also respond by living up to your expectations!

How To Read So Your Children Will Fall In Love With Books

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If you want to ignite the love of reading in your child, you have to do more than just read the words page after page, book after book. How you read and what you do during the reading determines how much your child gets out of that reading time. So, how do you read so your children will fall in love with books? Here are some suggestions:

1. Engage children in the story whenever opportunity permits. For example, have them join in the chants and rhymes, say repetitive phrases, or fill in the last words. Some stories allow for some acting along such as roaring like a lion or mewing like a cat. Show children that with books they can be active participants rather than just passive listeners.

2. Read with expression. You can use different voices for different characters. Also vary the way you read: loud, soft, sadly, happily, excitedly, scarily etc... according to the text. Let your voice and face bring out the emotions of the words. Spark their imagination by making the story come alive for them.

3. Ask questions. There are several types of questions you could ask:

To bring their attention to certain details. For example, "Can you see where the Big Bad Wolf is hiding?"

To increase comprehension. For example, "Why do you think the Little Red Hen didn't want to share the bread she had made?"

To have them predict what might happen. These questions also irks their curiosity. For example, ask "What do you think will happen next?"

Just be careful you don't turn the reading session into a quiz session. Also, don't ask too many questions or it will disrupt the flow of the story.

4. Enrich the reading with follow up activities and discussion. Think of craft ideas or songs that relate to the story. For example, after reading Eric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar, you could do a butterfly craft or sing a song about the days of the week. It could be as simple as having your child draw his favorite character or favorite part of the story. How about identifying new words to expand vocabulary. Another idea would be to talk about similar experiences your child may have had. For example, if the story was about going to the doctors, you could remind your child about the time he went to the doctors. Discuss your child's feelings and views about the story or illustration.

To get more out of a book, here are some finer points to remember:

1. Allow children to handle the book by encouraging them to help turn the pages. Don't be afraid to let them explore the book on their own before or after you've read the story. They may not know how to read yet but they can still enjoy the illustrations. And if they know the story well enough, you might catch them pretending to read, just like you.

2. If you are reading to toddlers, don't forget to introduce them to the make up of the book. Don't only read the title of the book but also read the name of the author and illustrator. Show them which is the front of the book, which is the back and where to start reading. Point to the words as you read so they know that reading is done from left to right, and from top to bottom of the page. Of course, all these are absorbed better when done in fun and silliness. For example, attempt to read a book upside down and your child will only be too eager to correct you.

3. Don't rush through the book. Read slowly and clearly. Create a relaxed atmosphere, free from stress and anxiety. Just for that few moments, free your mind from the 101 chores you have waiting for you.

So, if you want your child to love reading, show them first how enjoyable books can be. Opening book after book and just monotonously reading the words therein will not do much for your child. To get the most out of a book, you need to engage them and draw them into the story. If you can do this, you will heighten your child's love for books and reading.

Home Remedies For Baby Eczema

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If your baby is suffering from eczema, you know how uncomfortable the itchy and dry skin can be, not to mention the sore spots. Since eczema usually goes hand in hand with sensitive skin, treating it can be a bit of a challenge. Thankfully there are quite a few home remedies for baby eczema you can try.

Moisturize

Keeping baby's skin well moisturized should always be the first step in any eczema treatment. Use a natural aloe Vera lotion several times a day, especially after bathing baby. Reapply as often as need to keep baby's skin from drying out. Avoid any harsh cleansers and make sure baby is getting plenty to drink to moisturize from the inside out as well. Incidentally breastfed babies experience fewer and milder episodes of eczema.

Oatmeal Bath

When baby's skin gets very itchy, an oatmeal bath can be very soothing and help skin heal. Put two cups of oats in a food processor (or use a coffee grinder) and grind them into a powder. Add the oatmeal powder to a running bath of warm (not hot) water and stir well. Soak in the oatmeal bath for 15 minutes, rinse with clean water and dab the skin dry with a soft towel. When baby's eczema breakouts are bad, it is safe to sooth them with an oatmeal bath twice daily.

Natural Skin Wash

As mentioned above, you want to avoid any harsh skin care for baby. The following natural skin wash is very gently and helps with the itch. Combine 1 tsp of comfrey root, 1 tsp of white oak bark, 1 tsp of slippery elm bark and two cups of water in a bowl. Mix well, and then pour it into a pot. Heat over medium heat until it comes to a boil, and then simmer for thirty minutes. Allow the mixture to cool, then strain out the solids and use the liquid like any face wash.

While this mixture may not completely clear up baby's eczema, it is a natural, gentle and effective cleanser that will help reduce the itching and inflammation.

Healing Lotions

When eczema really flares up, you want to get baby's skin healed back up as soon as possible. Healing lotions can help shorten the healing time and moisturize and protect your skin from future outbreaks at the same time.

Lotions to look for ate those made with blueberry leaves. Blueberry leaves are very good at relieving the inflammation of eczema and at improving the irritation that accompanies itching.

Zinc is another great ingredient. Apply zinc lotion directly on the affected area. Zinc can also be taken as a supplement in pills. Taking regularly, it can be an effective eczema treatment.

To help heal the skin, use a lotion containing vitamin E, or apply vitamin E oil directly on the affected area. It will quickly reduce itching and improve healing. Continue applying the vitamin E oil until the skin is healed.

This article is provided for information purposes only. Please consult your baby's health care provider before trying home remedies.

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