Paddle Fabrication On The Brown And Stinky Creek
We've all been there. Nothing in our sights but nasty threats, impatiently waiting challenges, bad smelling dooms, and impossibly ugly situations. I am referring to the feeling of helplessly sailing into a paralyzing cacophony of menacing boogie-men and purple meanies just ready to pounce. There is a colloquial phrase for this- colorfully expressed as being up a certain particularly smelly creek without a paddle. I think you know what I mean.
While the threats may be more imaginary than real, the paralysis can be very real. Unfortunately the state of being frozen by fear is not a particularly useful one from which to handle impending challenges. In the Darwinian world survival of the fittest, being unable to move is commonly considered an express ticket to extinction. Somewhere in between flight and fight, fetal positioned stock-still panic only works in the presence of grizzly bears.
So lets, shake off the gross paralysis long enough to fashion a paddle and give ourselves a chance to steer clear of the worst of what may or may not come. At very least, you'll have something in your hands to fend away the closest claws.
First, take a deep slow breath. Even if you don't feel like you can (and that does sometimes happen) force yourself to breath deeply and slowly. If you are feeling the paralysis physically, make the breath high in your chest. If you are more caught in the panic of images and unpleasant anticipatory thoughts, try breathing lower in your belly. That should buy you a few seconds of rational thought: the first step in paddle construction.
Now, remember the last time you were in a similar situation. If you are blazing new ground in terror here, then recall the last most similar situation. Remind yourself, as you recall this situation, that you did survive it. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here to fear again. In fact, no matter how bad it gets, you have no evidence that you won't survive
The Secret Collection Of Inspirational Quotes Part 12
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.
- William Blake
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined.
As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler;
solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.
- Henry David Thoreau
Yes, love is the magic key of life-not to get what we want but to become what we ought to be.
- Eileen Guder
One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion.
- Simone de Beauvoir
God is like a mirror. The mirror never changes but
everybody who looks at it sees something different.
- Rabbi Harold Kushner
There are three things which if a man does not know he cannot live long in the world: what is too much for him, what is too little for him, and what is just right for him.
- Swahili Proverb
Recognize that you are unique in all eternity. . . .You are one of a kind ! . . . there is nobody like you anywhere on Earth today, and there never will be anybody like you in all eternity, because the Universe never duplicates itself. It all boils down to the fact that if any one of us does not fulfill that purpose for which he or she was placed on Earth, growth is slowed down because nobody can do what you do, exactly the way you do it. Very simply, that means that there is no competition.
- Foster Hibbard
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.
- George Bernard Shaw
Luck never gives; it only lends.
- Swedish Proverb
The key to happiness is having dreams . . . The key to success is making dreams come true.
Perhaps, love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.
- Antoine de St. Exupery
The Benefits Of Having A Personal Coach
If you have been watching the news, reading magazines, or even overhearing conversations while in line at the post office or grocery store, you may have heard about something called a "personal coach". More and more people are turning to personal coaches each day; if you have ever wondered what one is and what they can help you with, read on!
Simply put, a personal coach helps you become the best "you" possible. Just like a sports coach helps athletes work out their problem areas and achieve new records with their strengths, a personal coach can help you set and meet goals that apply to many areas of your life.
In today's society, many people over-book themselves with work, family, and social obligations. A personal coach can help you learn to manage your time effectively, and teach you new ways to calendar your time. You will work with your coach to find a system that works for you, and you'll be able to meet all of your commitments. They'll even help you carve out some personal time for yourself.
A personal coach can also help you with your parenting issues. It is no secret that being a parent is the toughest job you will ever have. A personal coach can help you work through any problems you have been having and help you learn new parenting techniques, as well as open the lines of communication between you and your child.
Stress is a common ailment that is shared by almost everyone. Some of the side effects of stress include aches, pain, fatigue, high blood pressure, anxiety and overeating. A personal coach can help you manage your stress levels. This alone can help you in all areas of your life. When you feel less stressed you will be happier and ready to take on new challenges.
Simply talking to a non-judgmental third party can do wonders for you. When people face problems, they are often too embarrassed to ask for help. They may not want their friends or family to know they are struggling with something. This can lead to further feelings of isolation and depression. A personal coach is there to listen and help you find solutions for your problems.
Working with a personal coach is actually more affordable than you think. Most offer free consultations. It is important for you and your potential coach to get to know each other; after the initial consultation, you can decide if this coach is the right coach for you. Likewise, the coach can tell you openly and honestly if they can help you. If they can't, they will refer you to someone who can.
These are just a few of the benefits of having a personal coach. Think about how great it would be to have someone on your side, rooting for you, giving you honest feedback, and helping you achieve new goals. If you have been struggling with reaching a goal, it is time you experience a free consultation with a coach, and find out how they can help you!
Ways To Stop Blushing Using My Unique Approach
Often, the problem with your blushing is not actually the blushing itself, but the cause of the blushing.
You may have noticed that your pre-occupation with blushing causes you to blush more and more, yet if you had a more positive and "birds-eye" view of your life and the world that you live in, you may find that you not only forget to blush, but that instead of looking for ways to stop blushing, you will actually be too busy looking for ways to live your life the way you were always meant to.
So in this particular article, I'd like to embrace your focus towards a metaphor that I frequently use to enhance my life and focus on the positive, fun and fruitful aspects of living on this precious planet...instead of constantly assessing, criticizing and devaluing ourselves beyond reason.
Let me ask you something...
In my possession, I have a very valuable item. The item is so valuable in fact, that it is priceless. It is unique to the point that not only is the item the only one of it's kind in the entire world, but it can never be replicated, copied or even faked.
In fact, for these very reasons, it is so valuable that whoever posses the item has the ability to rise in status, wealth and popularity if they so wish.
The question is, if I offered this item to you as a gift, would you accept it?
Let's assume that you would (I mean, there is no reason why you wouldn't right?). Now this item is in your possession, you have the ability to make lots of money, become famous, win new friends or whatever else you might desire from life. You could even stop blushing if you wanted to...
The problem is, I have failed to tell you about one fatal clause in my offering this item to you.. that clause is this:
"You are only allowed to keep possession of this item for 1 day".
This changes everything. Now, in order to achieve everything that I promised and that you were hoping for, you need to make maximum use of this item before the day is over. You will need to consider how you can gain the maximum benefit from this item in such a small amount of time...
So with this in mind, here are some of my suggestions:
1. Tell as many people about the item, gain popularity and interest from others.
2. Persuade people to do what you ask of them by waving the item under their nose
3. Attract media interest and gain a higher social status
4. Teach people how to care for their own valuable items, hence gaining money and credibility, friendships and respect
5. Sell the item for an astronomical amount of money and live happily ever after
Now, to do any of the following, you will need help...particularly as you only have one day to achieve any of the 5 options above right?
So I will help you.
In order to do any of the above, you will need a stage to communicate from. As we might sell the item, let's build you a shop. Next, you will need to be able to attract attention from others, so let's create a television advert. Finally, if we actually hope to sell the item as stated in the last option, we will need a salesperson in order to get the most possible money for it.
There, you have the item, you have the tools to sell it and you can now expect to reap the rewards of being in the possession of this item in just one day.
Now let's rewind...
You're probably thinking that I have gone off on a random babble about this fantasy item, this made-up scenario, this dream of achieving what you wish from in life from some non-existent item...
But let me tell you a secret...
The item exists!
I want you to re-read this article, but when you do, replace everything you read with the following...
The Item = Your body
The Shop = Planet Earth
The Television Advert = Your Personality
The Sales Person = Your Own Mouth
The 1 Day Clause = Your Short, But Valuable Life
If you want to make a change in your life, like being able to take control of your blushing, start thinking about the fact that the world is a stage and your life is an act.
The words you speak, the way you interact with other people and the values you hold, all help you sell yourself...whether socially or professionally, if you don't accept the fact that you must sell yourself to others, you will always be left on the shelf gathering dust whilst other, less worthy products get taken into new loving hands.
There are many theories for a blushing free life. I can only hope you are not led to the ones that cost you more time, pain and discomfort than the original problem of blushing itself.
I lost my water bottle. Change was bound to happen after that.
I know it is really no big deal as it's just a little thing - but I really liked that water bottle! It fit perfectly in the cup holder of my car, it had an easy to open lid, a spill guard that made it easy to drink out of and it was decorated with some cool stickers that really spoke about me that I'd acquired over the 3 years I had used it. I drink a lot of water and I carried it with me everywhere. My water bottle was very personalized and I was quite attached to it.
Of course it also didn't help that I only very rarely lose things. I can probably count on one hand the number of significant items I've lost in the last 5 years. Though not highly materialistic I am usually quite attentive to my material possessions and do not misplace them often. So I was a little confused and a little disturbed when I realized my water bottle, a very important part of my life, was missing.
Change is an interesting process. Psychologically speaking it goes like this: Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Determination, Action, and Maintenance. But it's more than just a process of decision making and taking action. Change is an emotional journey.
At first I kind of stumbled around for a couple of days thinking it would just "show up" somewhere. I back tracked my path since the last time I knew I had it and checked in with the places I had been (at least 6.) One person even had a recollection of seeing it there at some point but it was still nowhere to be found. I pined about it for days! I was struggling with letting go of my attachments to this old water bottle. I was feeling lost, sad, disappointed and, well, thirsty. I was going through an emotional process of understanding and release - not sure whether I could make it and not sure I was willing to accept the loss of the water bottle yet.
Finally though, after almost 2 weeks, I came to grips with the fact that it was lost and not coming back. Surely I had left it in a coffee shop somewhere and without my name or number on it someone had very likely picked it up and taken it home with them. I realized that holding out hope that the old water bottle would magically reappear was resisting the truth of reality. It was time to accept that I needed a new water bottle. I almost felt like I was grieving the loss of one of my most important possessions. The process of grief is long and challenging as well. Pile that on top of the emotions of change and I felt like I was spinning.
I know this seems like I am making a mountain out of a mole hill but change can be difficult for me - which is ironic given my life and profession. So often my life is a constant vortex of shift and change and evaluation and growth as I navigate my personal and professional world. I am constantly supporting others in the process of change and growth and discovery. I often can't help but reflect that change into my own life and that's not even to mention the areas I'm doing my own change and growth work on a continual basis. As a result I work hard at building stability in my life in other ways and sometimes that is accomplished with the little details and the tangible objects. So letting go of the lost water bottle represented a big challenge for me.
When I finally accepted that it was time to purchase a new water bottle a very subtle shift occurred for me. I realized that there was an opportunity here. My old water bottle was made of plastic that scientists say have health concerns. I had known this for a while but wasn't quite ready to let go of it. What I realized was that there was an opportunity to make a new and healthier choice. Not only had I made the decision to accept the change but I'd taken a step up to move forward in the process of change with new ideas, new information and a new sense of ownership.
This was perhaps the most important part of the change process for me. Change can be as simple as making a simple choice between two rather irrelevant options or it can be as complex as shifting behavior patterns or beliefs. In this critical stage of change is an opportunity to make critical shifts. The stage of determination is where we can have the largest impact on our lives. Whenever the opportunity for small change arises we also often have an opportunity to make a large shift in the direction of our choices. Think of it in terms of navigating a plane. At the start of a long flight a directional difference of just a few degrees can result in a final destination hundreds of miles apart!
The ways we choose to engage shift along with change can make the difference between health and happiness in the long run - or not! I chose to make the shift to health and happiness this time.
So I did some research and determined what I wanted. A quick trip to the outdoor store and I had exactly what I was looking for - a large, metal, wide-mouthed new water bottle! Emotionally I had reached a place of empowerment. I knew what I wanted and I had acquired it. When I bought the new water bottle I felt really good about the choice I'd made. But my process of accepting change wasn't over yet.
After just a few days of using the bottle I realized just how clean it was compared to my 3 year old plastic bottle and how much cleaner it was then my other old easy plastic straw water bottle that I used when I was at home. I have been a big water drinker for many years but recently I have had trouble drinking as much water as I was used to largely, I think, due to the taste transfer in the bottles I had been using. So I started using the metal water bottle all the time. Once I switched over my water consumption started to dramatically increase and I felt healthier and more hydrated than I had in months. That was entirely unexpected.
A little thing like a different water bottle was affecting my health. A simple choice to switch from a plastic to a metal was having a deep impact on my life. What I began to realize was that while my focus is often on large changes such as healing old relationships, changing my behavior emotional patterns, career shifts, understanding new and powerful differences in using language, etc. I almost never focus on the little details of how my daily life happens. It's almost as if I'm so acclimated to big change that the little change somehow gets lost in the mix.
The truth for me was that sometimes the most subtle thing in my life can be one of the most important. Maintaining my health is strongly linked to how much water I drink. So although it might seem like something really little it in fact has a huge impact on all of my life. The healthier I am the more active I am. The more active I am the happier I am. The happier I am the more I attract the activities and people I want in my life. So something as simple as how much water I drink could affect my overall happiness if it produced a significant enough change in my body - just like navigating a plane.
Understanding the difference between little and big changes, how challenging or important they were and how they affected me made all the difference. What had seemed like it might be a mountain out of a mole hill was actually a small volcano. Sometimes it is the little things that make for big changes an I had found one of them!
Work Work Work Making Each Moment Count
Time, time, time. It seems there is never enough of this precious life support. In a previous story about time, I quoted the following aphorism:
TIME IS MY FRIEND
TIME IS MY ALLY
I HAVE ALL THE TIME I NEED
FOR EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO.
I received a lot of grateful responses and some questions, indicating just how hard it is to balance our time requests these days. I want to respond to a subscriber who said she is "too busy to attend to personal needs vs. work, work, work" and is looking for a way to take care of herself while meeting the requirements of her workplace.
Here are a couple of suggestions for anyone who is struggling to keep work and personal life in balance.
First, don't judge yourself about where you're spending your time. Wherever you are, be there 100 percent. If you're working, try to notice why you said yes to the work and enjoy that part of it. Enjoy the moment.
Second, use your calendar or daytimer as a tool to give you what you want. Mark it with work and personal time, and attend to it. For example, I'm writing a book, and it's very easy for me to let that time slip into something else, like answering email or returning calls. I'm getting better at blocking out the time in advance and sticking with what I said I was going to do with it.
Lastly, prioritize your values around time. If personal time is the highest priority, mark the personal time into your calendar first. Then fill in the other stuff in around it.
I hope some of this helps. Please write and let me know if any of the suggestions work for you. And let me know your ideas, too, because I need them!
Stress And Social Anxiety
One of the major symptoms associated with social anxiety is stress. Stress works two ways - the social anxiety can cause it, and the stress can intensify the social anxiety. Stress can be a big problem, because it leads to other health related problems, such as high blood pressure or heart attack.
Stress can also cause headaches, ulcers, insomnia, excessive fatigue, and muscle pain. When a person who suffers from social anxiety is contemplating a social interaction or situation, they experience stress. When they are actual in a social interaction or situation, the stress level increases to extreme levels, and triggers a variety of other symptoms.
Stress plays such a big role in social anxiety that, in many cases, once a person learns how to control their stress levels, they literally overcome their social anxiety as well. There are many methods that can be used to control stress levels. Exercise is one of the best ways to reduce or eliminate stress, because believe it or not, stress can create energy. This is the fight or flight response that we were all born with. This fight or flight response was used by our ancestors for their survival. We don't typically use this fight or flight response for our survival today, but it is still there, and it does create energy that needs to be used. Exercise is the way to use it.
You can also employ other methods for dealing with long-term stress and it's side effects. These methods include: Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR), Autogenic Relaxation, and Imagery Relaxation. These methods can be used along with exercise to greatly reduce your stress levels.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation is a technique in which you tense, then relax, groups of muscles. The ultimate goal of PMR is to be able to relax your entire body all at once. When you can relax all of your muscles, stress disappears from your muscles, and it is either reduced or eliminated.
Autogenic relaxation is often used for the relief of chronic pain. Since stress can cause chronic pain, autogenic relaxation is used to treat stress as well. Autogenic relaxation combines deep breathing exercises with imagery and positive verbal statements to control and master a problem that is causing stress.
Imagery relaxation also involves deep breathing, but instead of dealing directly with what is causing the stress, you use your mind to take you away from the stressful situation - to a happier, more relaxed place. This can be done with the use of tapes, or on your own.
Whether social anxiety is causing your stress or something else is causing your stress, it is important that you deal with the stress as soon as possible, before it leads to other more serious health problems and takes over your life. Even if you are not able to deal with other issues just yet - such as your social anxiety - your stress levels can still be greatly reduced.
Become Proactive And Master Success
We all want to succeed in life. We want to succeed in our personal relationships. We want to succeed in our professional lives. Yet despite this desire to succeed we so often do not find success. Just what is the secret to success in our personal and professional lives? Being proactive.
It is easy to place the blame for our failure to succeed on the many factors that influence our lives. Perhaps we were born with certain disadvantages or at least with no noticeable advantages. Perhaps our early years are at fault. Perhaps today it is our family, our employer, our community, or the current economic climate that is causing us to fail. While trying to displace the blame is certainly a very human reaction it is only a reaction. Assigning blame for our failures, even if we accept the blame for ourselves, will not do one thing to change our failure. However if we move past the blame game and start to think proactively - better yet become proactive - then we will be on the path to success.
The blame game is very limiting. Not only does it set you up to repeatedly fail, it does nothing to encourage growth. However once you move past blame and begin to think about what you can do and what you can change. Once you begin to take advantage of your inherently human abilities and strengths you are bound to find success. Human beings have imagination and independent will. This means we can analyze a problem, come up with a creative solution, and implement the plan. We have the power to change ourselves and our lives. This is the true path to success.
Many people are familiar with the term - proactive - however they simply believe it means to take action on our own initiative. While this is certainly a key component of the word. Becoming a proactive person is more than simply taking action. It goes deeper than that. Being proactive means that you not only take action but you also take responsibility for yourself. This means giving up the blame game for good.
In order to ensure your success you must accept your personal responsibility for your own failure and success. Do not blame others, conditions, or the past, but rather choose to respond to failure or success in a positive way.
Remember that failure does not have to be the end of the road but can rather be the beginning of a whole new path. If you can accept the blame for your mistakes and learn from them then take those lessons to forge a new plan of action then you are bound to find success.
You are a resourceful and imaginative person. These qualities are among your inheritance as a human being. If you use the qualities to take responsibility for your actions and generate new initiatives then you are bound to find more success in your personal and professional lives.
Unlocking Your Success Finding Your Passion
I bet that you can't tell me that Alfred Lord Tennyson wrote, "The happiness of a man in this life does not consist in the absence but in the mastery of his passions." That statement is very true, for there has never, in the history of humanity, been any discovery, innovation, or creation that was not first a spark of passion, curiosity, or devotion. Truly, the manifestation and realization of such discoveries, creations, and innovations is nothing more than the mastery of the creators' passions.
"Passion" from the Latin Passus literally means, "to suffer." This all-consuming desire to be, and to do is vitally important to success, for it is the source from which the successful person must draw his or her inspiration. Remember that everyone who succeeds in life typically gets off to a bad start initially. They pass through many heartbreaking struggles before they "arrive" at "success." They literally SUFFER for not having achieved their passion. The turning point in the lives of those who succeed usually comes at the very moment of crisis, when they must choose to follow their passion, or surrender to mediocrity. Would you rather live your life's purpose and become the person you were meant to be, or remain locked in lifestyle of tolerance and indifference, merely existing from one day to the next?
Without passion, you will never be inspired to act. Without action, you will never manifest your vision, and therefore, you will NEVER be successful! To truly live in a paradigm of conscious choice; a paradigm where you know your beliefs, your purpose, your goals, and you CHOOSE to act on them, then you must know that which stirs YOUR heart. This is crucial if you are truly going to create the reality you desire; a lifestyle built on your preferences and your goals.
Further, you must recognize that designing and creating the life that you choose requires that you first discover the purposes for behaving the way that you do. If you act without purpose, then you are likely to create a lifestyle that is hit or miss; a lifestyle that wanders about, and is based on old habits and reactions to circumstances, rather than creation. Inevitably, this eliminates the potential for success, as the truly successful consistently work toward the achievement of their vision.
Therefore, to genuinely create the lifestyle that you choose, you must face each challenge, each encounter, with purposeful choices. You must reprogram your thinking to "act", rather than "re-act." To choose solutions and actions that are directed toward the realistic goals of your vision that are workable in your everyday world. Find your purpose, and you will find your passion! Find your passion, and you will HAVE your vision!
So, what can you do, today, that will point you toward your passion, your purpose? You can begin by defining you vision and creating your own personal mission statement.
1. Allocate some time alone. You need to allow yourself space and time to think, reflect, and evaluate.
2. Select an important question from the list below, or use a powerful question of your own. Be sure that the question you choose has deep, personal meaning for you and causes your heart to stir.
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