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A Guide To Discount Laminator Products

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A discount laminator allows you to perform lamination in your home or office. There are several choices in machines, depending on the volume and size of the projects you need to cover. Read about the equipment that is available to help you find the perfect machine to fit your needs.

Types of Laminator Equipment

Pouch Laminators

Pouch machines are the most common types of equipment found in the office or the home. Depending on the machine, they can laminate projects from a small identification card up to an 11X 17 sheet. They use V shaped pouches. The document is placed in the center of the V and is fed into the machine. The rollers are used for heating the laminate and adhering the film to the document.

There are a few benefits to pouch machines. they are the easiest of all machines to use and are a great first laminating machine for most people. They are also the least expensive of all equipment. Pouches are inexpensive and the easiest way to make your documents water proof.

Roll Laminators

These machines use rolls of laminate. They are able to accommodate larger documents than pouch machines. Depending on the machine, they will work for documents from twelve to eighty inches wide. The laminate is pressed between the two rollers to adhere the glue to the document. Roll machines are often used in digital printing and wide format work.

Most roll machines can work with either hot or cold film. If it is a cold laminator, it will only work with cold film. A hot laminator will work with either hot or cold film. For hot, the rollers are heated to a temperature of about 240 degrees Fahrenheit. The heat activates the glue and the pressure seals the document inside. These can be used with cold film by not heating the rollers.

Liquid Laminators

Liquid laminating machines are newer, less common machines. These are generally used on digital, wide format machines. Most work for projects up to sixteen feet long. The laminate can be applied in a variety of thicknesses, depending on the project.

These machines use either gravity or a pump driven system to apply the liquid laminate. Both types have a drying system built into the machine to dry the liquid on the paper. When it comes out of the machine, it will be surface dry and will need extra time to completely dry before being used. These laminating machines take some time to get used to and aren't the best choice if you are new to laminating.

Choosing a Discount Laminator

Laminators come in a variety of sizes for different uses. The sizes range from a small identification card all the way to the large, wide format machines and everything in between. The size you choose will depend on the size of the projects you typically need to laminate. If you generally need to laminate smaller documents, you may opt for a pouch machine. You can always send the occasional wide format job to the local print shop.

The volume of the lamination you need done will also determine the size of the machine you need. If you only need a few things each week or even each day, a pouch machine will probably be sufficient. If you do many pages per day, you may want to invest in a more expensive roll machine.

Where to Buy a Discount Laminator

The internet is the best place to find a great deal on laminator equipment. Sites offering office equipment often carry laminators. Sometimes you can find a good deal offering free shipping on more expensive machines. If you want to see the equipment up close, visit an office supply store and then shop for the machine you have chosen online for a better price.

Learn about the different machines available before making a purchase. This equipment is very expensive and you want a machine that has all the features you want. This will ensure years of use. When comparing laminate equipment, compare not only the price, but the warranties and shipping costs. Sometimes a slightly more expensive machine will end up being a better deal, if it includes a better warranty and free shipping.

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Stop Burglars In Their Tracks How To Choose A Home Alarm System

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If you think technology is a blessing then think again! Although we are in the age of the advanced computers, internet, leaner and powerful machines etc., we are also in the age where guns have improved and are more easily available. The result is the increase in the crime rate. Burglary is one such crime that is being committed randomly. So is there a solution that can prevent burglary?

The solution is installing a home alarm system. There was a time when those who had the money would employ a home security guard or personnel but today you can do better with a home alarm system. In fact in the recent times, the home alarm system has become one of the most popular methods of safeguarding homes.

There are different types of home alarm systems available in the market and they can cater to various types of residential properties from condos to villas to apartments. You can have home alarm systems for fire, smoke, and burglary. Off late, more and more people have been installing home alarm systems for preventing burglary.

The use and application of home alarm systems for preventing burglary has changed or rather evolved over a period of time. Today, you will find home alarm systems that have multiple features and some of them are quite advanced. Some of the features of a complete home alarm system include enabling you or the homeowner to contact the nearest hospital or police. Most of the home alarm systems have a working mechanism that is dependent on the combination of motion sensors placed on your windows or at your door and certain contact points.

Choosing a home alarm system can be quite a difficult task but you can follow the tips mentioned below while shopping for one:

Identify Your Requirement

First things first: Identify the number of windows and exit doors your home has so that you can have them connected to the home alarm system. Then determine the different locations where you will install the keypad and the control panel. Some people would prefer to have it installed near the front door while others might find it convenient to install at the exit door at the back of the house or in a more central location within the house.

Once this process is complete, you need to determine the distance from the control panel to the doors and windows so that you are able to get a fair idea regarding the length and placement of wires routed through the home alarm system.

The next step is to decide if you really require a monitored home alarm system, which has the ability to monitor all events and movements 24-hours a day. A monitored home alarm system will comprise of a central monitoring station that can watch your home but you will be required to pay a monthly fee to the home security company. There is a less expensive alternative too, which is in the form of a basic sensor driven home alarm system. This system has a dialer accessory, which can connect your home alarm system directly to the phone lines within your home and automatically dial a preselected set of numbers if and when the security of your home is breached.

Choosing the System

There are different types of home alarm systems in the market for preventing burglary and then there are companies who provide home security. The latter option is expensive. So if you have identified your requirement then the next best thing is to consult a reputable home alarm system adviser. You can even talk to a home security adviser and get ample information on the different advantages and disadvantages of the various home alarm systems available in the market.

The next step is to choose a home alarm system, which has a control panel that will enhance monitoring of the premises or zones. A basic home alarm system for preventing burglary will be able to monitor a maximum of eight zones. The more advanced the home security system is, the more zones it can monitor to a maximum of 32 zones. You need to make sure while choosing the home alarm system that it can perform even in the farthest zone.

Be certain that the system you choose can accept fire-protection sensors, carbon monoxide sensors and combustible-gas detectors, anti-freeze-up low-temperature switches (especially in cold climates) and water detectors. Make sure that panic buttons are or can be included.

Make sure that the home alarm system that you choose is user-friendly and working with codes integrated into the keypad should not be a cumbersome and confusing process.

Lastly, look for an anti-burglary home alarm system that has a built-in alarm noisemaker. Some of the home alarm systems produce a siren that will alert the nearest police station as well as the neighbors and this can help to protect your home.

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How To Buy A Plasma Or Lcd Tv In 3 Easy Steps

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You know what? Buying a TV isn't the same old process that it used to be. Long gone are the days when you could walk into Sears with your wife, pick your favorite CRT television and be on your merry way. Nope. Thing are much much better now! A side consequence of the information revolution is that the free flow of information gives the consumer a definite advantage over the dealer. No matter what claim is made about the 'incredible deal' you are about to receive on your new plasma or lcd television set, the information is easily verifiable with a few simple Google searches or mouse clicks.

Lets take a quick look at some of ideas you can use to make sure you are getting the best bang for your buck in your new television selection.

a) Take your time. Just because a LCD TV is on sale, it doesn't mean that the TV is going to go away forever. There are tons of different resources out there for you to peruse before investing several thousand dollars in a brand new big screen television set. ConsumerReports.org is one of them that I use frequently. There are a ton of others.

b) Compare offline closeout sales with the deals you can find online. Big Box retailers can sometimes offer incredible discounts to what you see online. We've found that the best strategy is to straddle both the online and the offiline world. Make sure what you are doing is maximizing your bang for your buck.

c) Don't be afraid of non name brand merchandise. Well, lets put a caveat on that. Make sure the model you buy is from a somewhat decent manufacturer but the manufacturer doesn't have to be a world famous one. Sometimes what you are paying for is a high ticket brand name and not a great product. A new plasma tv by a not so well known manufacturer might be just as good as a new name brand one.

There are hundreds of other tips to buying the LCD or Plasma TV of your choice and these are just the tip of the iceburg. In fact, some of the best kept secrets to buying a big screen tv make these items seem insignificant in comparison. Learn them all and get the best deal possible.

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Candle Wholesalers

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Candles have never been so popular. Candles are now a must, whatever may be the occasion. You have aromatic candles, candles made up of beeswax, and paraffin. The candle industry is witnessing an unprecedented boom, thanks to the candle wholesalers for playing a large part of this phenomenal growth.

As in the case with other wholesalers, candle wholesalers purchase these candles in bulk quantities from manufacturers at a mark-up price. The wholesaler then sells these candles, keeping a percentage, to the retailer, who in turn sells these candles ultimately to the consumer.

This chain or distribution channel regulates the market prices and determines the end price of any product. Candles are no different. Dinner candles, church candles, scented candles, you name it and leading wholesalers always maintain large inventories of these products. Needless to say, they have even larger inventories of particular types of candles, which have greater demand, aromatic candles for instance. If you are a candle retailer, looking forward to getting fabulous discounts from wholesalers, you have every chance of getting one. Just visit the online resources of leading candle wholesalers and find out what they are offering. You can get the entire information on the kind of candles they have to offer and importantly at what price do they offer. Once you establish a connection with one of these leading wholesalers, your job becomes easy. In the bargain, many a wholesaler might pass on these discounts to you, the retailer.

A single wholesaler may have all types of candles. Sometimes certain wholesalers have only one type or brand of candles. They are also responsible for the local promotion of the brand to a large extent. Candle wholesalers have good working relationships with both manufacturers and retailers. It always helps them to maintain a certain stronghold on the business.

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Armor Ammo And The Kitchen Sink The Secret To Deployment Bags And How To Pack Them

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"Survival of the fittest" is a term that is thrown around liberally, but what does it mean? The meat of the phrase means that those who are most prepared, equipped and alert will be the ones that will come out on top of the pack. Going into a battle situation, it is to your benefit to give yourself every advantage you can think of which means to more than satisfy the criteria of the definition of being "fit."

The secret to being prepared and equipped is having with you everything you may need in any given situation. This can be challenging when you have to carry all of your gear. However, with the right TA-50 or deployment bag, you can have enough room for everything you need, and if you pack carefully, perhaps even a small kitchen sink! The perfect deployment bag begins with essentials in an orderly arrangement. Essentials will be different for everyone, but at the core should be your body armor, some ammunition and a small first-aid kit. Here are some tips for packing the perfect bag:

1. Combinations are KEY! Try combining articles such as putting gloves, a pair of socks and a couple extra rounds in the cavity of the body armor. This will enable there to be more room in the bag as well as keeping things that you will need to use together also packed together so there is no time or energy lost in grabbing something you need. Body armor is bulky and odd shaped for packing, and chances are that if you need one piece, that you will need the same things each time so put them together in a way that they all work together. For example, if you have an extra pair of shoes to pack, consider putting something else that you will be using at that same time in the shoe to save room in your bag.

2. Zip tight bags are awesome! Water leakage inward to your bag (if it's not waterproof or if it gets a hole in it somehow) or liquid/gel leakage outward of a container can prove to be a huge problem if you are traveling or on deployment. Zip tight baggies can save your day! Put shirts or outfits, socks, underwear into gallon size baggies if you are going to be deployed to a wet area with a lot of rain or will be trekking through water. If not, zip tight sandwich baggies around your toiletry items individually can prove extremely helpful. If one thing spills then it doesn't get on each item turning it into a gooey mess. Also, with the use of zip bags, you will know that socks are always in one bag, underwear is always in another bag, and so on alleviating wasted time spent rearranging or hunting down items that you need NOW. Time spent hunting should be for your adversary instead of for your socks.

3. You can pack your kitchen sink and your bathroom medicine cabinet. Just because you are deployed or traveling does not mean that you have to go without necessities due to lack of space anymore. There are some deployment bags out there that are so ultra-roomy and sturdy that you can pack what you need; one of which is a safety/medical kit. Keep a few bandages, muscle pain patches, minor pain meds in travel packages, snap-light fishing glow sticks, all in one mini-tool, and snap-released hand warmers. Maybe put those in a round of duct tape or a funnel and put that in a zip baggy or just in a little toiletry case.

4. Why leave strategy to the battlefield? To win the war on clutter and mess, you have to plan a method of attack. Strategize and think about putting together your bag right the first time. What will be easiest for you and save you time? What will be something that you will actually do and maintain? Will zip baggies be something that you can do? Will arranging socks with socks work better for you rather than arranging whole outfits together? Does it make sense to pilfer through your bag each time you need something? Plan what you are going to do and then keep it up so you know exactly where everything is! Arrange things considering shape and frequency of use. Does it make sense to put something you use three times daily on the bottom of the stack? Arranging in slices instead of stacks helps. Think bread slices in a bag. That way you don't have stacks of stuff to look under but rather can see a small sliver sample of each thing you have. Planning your bag will make your time more efficient and lower your stress level because you are more prepared in a shorter amount of time.

Incorporating a few of these ideas or using them as a holistic system really can aide you in being more prepared, more equipped and more "fit" than your counterparts or competition. Saving time, energy and mental stress will aide you in keeping your performance at an optimum while still not compromising your personal comfort. Performance levels at their optimum will ensure you are among the most "fit" and will help to guarantee your success at your mission, both on the battlefield and beyond.

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Cocktail Vibe

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Cocktail Vibe - a home for unique martini glasses and barware on the internet- is offering free stirrers with orders over $20. If you enter the term "web2promo" in the promotion field during checkout, this special will be yours.

Some of the coolest glasses at Cocktail Vibe can be found in the martini section, though the shot, wine, rocks, hiball, and accessories section certainly offer unique designs (and sometimes comical verbiage).

I would recommend while navigating, you take advantage of Cocktail Vibe's swatch viewer by clicking "Color Guide" on the product pages. This allows you to see zoomed in shots of every in stock item.

The site also offers many free (and delcious) drink recipes in the Drinkology section, as well as reviews of hip bars and lounges, in the Vibe on Location section. Best of all, they keep their prices low by avoiding the bells and whistles of other websites.

So what fuels this desire to deliver the perfect cocktail? Under the ABOUT US section, the site offers an answer: "Perhaps it's the fact that cocktailing is an activity that involves people, conversations, depth and overall good times. There's nothing better than getting together with friends and family, mixing a concoction of choice, sitting back, and relaxing. If you subscribe to our outlook and enjoy cocktail culture, great! We love to welcome new members into our world ... so join us for the ride, be in touch with your vibe, and enjoy ..."

Best of all, the company offers an e-mail address and a phone number in case you require assistance finding the right glassware for your occasion, or need help with gift ideas (or customer service). This is a rare occurence on most glassware sites.

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Burn Through In Stainless Steel Burners

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I grill.

I mean, I grill - often. I grill about 3 or 4 days a week, every week of the year, every year. Living 100 yards from Lake Erie, this is no small feat: it gets cold in Cleveland in the winter, and we get our fair share of snow - most of which is lake effect, sometimes measured in feet rather than inches.

I have often found myself outside after dark on a late December evening, in 20-degree weather with an icy wind blowing in off the lake, snow half-way up my shins, basting a roast on the rotisserie.

Naturally, my wife thinks I am nuts. She also thinks I am a great cook, which is neither here nor there. But, I digress...

A couple of months ago, I noticed that the grill was heating unevenly. The left side was noticeably hotter than the right. The flame was higher on the left, and I had more problems with flare-up on that side. Meanwhile, the right side was not cooking very well at all. The grill is a 3-year-old Fiesta that my wife bought at K-Mart shortly before we met. It sports a stainless steel sheet metal burner which is adequate for occasional use. I suspected that the burner was burned through since I use the grill much more than the manufacturer intended; I wanted to replace it much earlier than this, but since we were buying a house, I placed the project on the back burner, so to speak.

The house threw us a couple of major curve balls, the worst of which was a total replacement of our kitchen. At the time, we were waiting on our new counter tops: we did not have a working kitchen; the microwave and the grill were our only working kitchen appliances. Nice time for the grill to fail, huh?

One night during the remodel, I wanted to grill some chicken. I fired up the grill, and noticed that the flame on the left side of the grill reached the cooking grate, and the flame on the right was barely noticeable. Our chicken browned noticeably toward the left side, and barely cooked on the right. The photos on our site show the old burner.

I muddled my way through the meal, deciding to take action. The next day I ordered a new burner/venturi set over the Internet. Since spiders love our new house, I splurged on spider guards. The only tools I needed for the job were a pair of pliers and a screwdriver. I assembled the burner/venturi assembly, connected the ignitor to the burner, and went out to the grill. I disconnected the securing pins for the burner underneath the grill and the old burner lifted out easily. The new burner settled gently into place, and I connected the ignitor and installed the spider screens. I tested the ignitor, and, satisfied that it worked properly, fired up the grill. Even blue flame, about one and a half inches high, with yellow tips. Perfect. Nice, even heat again. Project completed, and in about a half-hour.

So why did this happen? Why did my burner rot from the inside out? The answer is simple physics. When your burner burns gas, the flame outside the burner creates a vacuum inside the burner. An open valve allows gas under high pressure to flow from its source into the burner, where the pressure is lower, and then continue out to the outside to be burned.

So how does this cause burn-through? Remember the flame that is sucking the gas out of the burner? Now shut that gas off. What happens? The gas is still burning. When there is no more fuel, the vacuum inside the burner actually sucks whatever is right outside the burner, resulting in an audible "pop" when the flame goes out.

Here it is in a nutshell: you've been cooking food, right? You've been using spices, sauces and rubs - and the food itself has its own juices. These are in the air surrounding the food and the burners, mostly as partially-burned carbon particles. These carbon particles get sucked into the burner when the flame is extinguished. These particles remain in the burner until the next time you fire up the grill. When you fire up the grill, these particles create chaos in the flow of the gas. The pressure of the gas will hold these particles against the sides of the burner. Reaching ignition temperature, they eventually burn through the metal from the inside out. Now you know why I had to replace my burner - and why you'll have to do the same if you purchase a grill with a sheet metal burner.

My story points out another issue: what type of burner will your new grill have? This is a major decision that many overlook when they purchase a high-end grill. Most grills, even well-known $3,000 to $5,000 units, have the same stainless steel sheet metal burners that I just replaced, and many have a thickness in the 20- to 24-gauge range! Let's face it: buying a $3,000 grill is like buying a Mercedes or a Lexus; you shouldn't have to replace the engine in a 3-year-old Lexus!

If you purchase a grill with a stainless steel sheet metal (or cast iron/cast iron composite) burner, you will replace the burners at some point. The more often you grill, the more often you will replace the burner. The more expensive the grill, the more difficult the replacement.

"What?" you say! Stainless steel will rust? Well, yes, it *will* rust. It just takes a lot longer. The idea that stainless steel will neither stain or rust is a myth. The "stainless" in the term "stainless steel" refers to the fact that there are no impurities in the metal itself, and that nickel has been introduced into the alloy to produce a more acceptable finish. A lower grade of stainless steel with a lower nickel content will attract a magnet, also contrary to popular myth.

What, then, is the alternative to a stainless steel sheet metal burner? Cast iron? Well, yes, but many grill manufacturers also use cast brass or cast stainless steel, which will not rust or burn through. Lynx and Fire Magic are two such grills, and they're even warranted against rust and burn-through. A less-expensive alternative with cast brass burners would be the Coleman 6000, retailing for under $1,000 (photo right).

This is not to disparage stainless steel sheet metal burners: Napoleon uses 16-gauge stainless steel in their burners, much thicker than just about any other brand, and they tend to last longer than other manufacturer's burners. They are still prone to rot and burn-through, however: it just takes a little longer, that's all.

So, if you're shopping for a new grill, check the burner construction first.

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The Science Of Robosapien

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At a glance, Robosapien looks great versus the old school box on wheels with clear dome head. 'Ooh,' you say, looks kinda like a muscled storm trooper and the fart button now that's a hoot. We nod in polite agreement, but behind your back, we snicker at your total lack of appreciation of the advanced robotic theory involved.

Robosapien is a modern day turning point in the evolution of robotics and is the first-ever robot based on the science of applied biomorphic robotics. (That's what you should have been telling friends and family all this time rather than pointing out amusing cat-chasing ability.) Biomorphic robotics stems from Mark Tilden's innovative new concepts in BEAM technology.

A New Philosophy for Robot Kind BEAM is an acronym for Biology, Electronics, Aesthetics and Mechanics. Dr. Mark W. Tilden founded this relatively new branch of robotic sciences in 1989, based on the premise that behavioral-rich robots need not be the wickedly complex projects reserved only for well-funded labs and cartoon villains.

Put another way, traditional approaches to creating robots have started with creating a sophisticated brain to maneuver the mechanics of the body. Though not discounting the incredible engineering feats of robots built this way, most notably the Sony Qrio and Honda Asimo, Mark Tilden strongly contends that this is the wrong approach to take.

It's like trying to emulate a human when modern technology and research can't realistically copy a bug from your garden. "[It's] an evolutionary dead end," says Tilden. BEAM robotics is about taking the bottom-up approach, to start from mastering the simple bug and moving up from there.

Rather than attempt to create a centralized robo-brain to process every variable input and spit out a decision (much, much harder than you may think), why not use a system known as "subsumption architecture." Subsumption architecture is a clever technique where the actions of a robot are managed in layers, each layer controlling one facet of the robot's operation.

For example, a low-level layer could be 'Walk Forward,' which the robot will happily do until it bumps into something. At this point, the slightly higher level 'Lift Leg Higher' kicks in, overriding the 'Walk Forward' layer until the robot successfully climbs over the obstacle, at which point 'Lift Leg Higher' stops, and the low-level 'Walk Forward' takes over again. *

Egocentric Bugs

So Tilden began building robot bugs on this principle, and more selfish creatures they could not have been.

Why's that? Well Tilden decided that Asimov's famous Three Laws of Robotics:

1. No hurt human.

2. Listen to human unless told 'Do hurt human'.

3. Try to live with that.

were antiquated notions that left no room for a good practical joke at parties.

So one dark and stormy night he penned Tilden's Three Laws of Robotics:

1. A robot must protect its existence at all costs.

2. A robot must obtain and maintain access to a power source.

3. A robot must continually search for better power sources.

informally known as*:

1. Protect thy butt.

2. Feed thy butt.

3. Move thy butt to better real estate.

1. He justified this robotic declaration of self-interest as the only way robots can start evolving the way humans may have came from guppies looking for a good time by leaving the ocean.

From Bugs to Sapiens

Needing to find a lighter-minded group of people from his government and NASA days, Tilden decided to go and join a toy company. Who better than one audacious enough to self proclaim themselves, Wow Wee! It was a great match, and they gleefully began working on toy dinosaurs and bugs based on Tilden's now renowned expertise.

Then came the master project that one could fairly say would change the landscape of robotics altogether. FartDude, later named Robosapien after initial market testing, was to be the culmination of Tilden's work, finally bringing to bear a humanoid (sapien-like, if you will) robot capable of an impressive list of moves and rude sounds.

In Robosapien, you see the basics of BEAM philosophy and technological research. It follows the B as a biomorphic rendition of humans, E for the fact you can't throw it in a bathtub, A because it's stylin the latest magazine covers, and one heck of a lot of M going into the robo dancing capability.

That's Mr. Sapien

Like no robot ever before, the Robosapien is affordable to the unwashed masses. The Robosapien is a crowning accomplishment when it comes to mobility, power consumption, programmability, and maybe most importantly: hackability.

Each arm has full 360 motion ability allowed by the, ahem, biomorphic shoulder joints and flexible elbows. Ending in three articulated fingers, Robosapien is capable of picking up, gripping, and throwing objects. The genuine full walking motion (most robots don't genuinely walk outside a lab) is made possible design of the large feet and well placed sensors.

And do you know how much power it usually takes to run a robot Fuggedabowdit. Regular robots are dishonorable little battery-eaters always hungry for more, more, more! And who's going to pay for these batteries, hmmm' Well Robosapien brings no shame to itself when consuming power, essentially due to the astounding mechanical physics. It runs a full 6 to 10 hours on just one set of batteries. In fact, if you move Robosapien's arm you'll actually generate power for it! Hey man, that's shrewd.

For those of you who want a robot that will fetch you a frosty one from the kitchen, you lazy bums will just have to wait until later versions. But you can program your Robosapien to do some pretty cools things in the meantime, like wander around taking swings at things, guarding your bedroom while you sleep, and a hilarious game of 'pull my finger'. Try teaching your dog that trick smart guy.

So what's so hot about the hackability, and is that even a word you ask? You've got some nerve. Tilden went through some serious, serious effort to be sure that robot enthusiasts could take apart the robot, as he would have done as a child, and tinker with modifications. Everything's color-coded in there to make things easy for those of us without PhDs, and by all accounts, there's plenty of additional room and power to accommodate whatever Frankenstein thing you can think up. There are entire books written on the subject should you wish to learn, so go forth and hack away. If it's a good one, send it in and we'll publish for all too either mock or applaud.

And Another Thing

So the next time you look at your Robosapien give a respectful nod to the world's first-ever robot based on the science of applied biomorphic robotics. Then go chase a cat with it.

* Graciously lifted from Dr. Tilden's excellent 'Junkbots, Bugbots & Bots on Wheels' book.

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The Evolution Of Jeans

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Thought of the day: Why is it acceptable to wear the same pair of jeans for days, even weeks, without being questioned by friends? Yet wearing the same pair of cargos three days in a row would be scowled upon and considered un-hygienic. Do we actually believe jeans are immune to dirt?

Still on the topic of jeans... remember when all we had to choose from was either a pair of Levis, Lee or Wrangler's? And all you had in your wardrobe was a choice of black stone wash and blue stone wash?

I remember this quite vividly. There was no such thing as 'engineered denim' in the early 90's when I was a teenager. Yet in the pursuit of being cool, I had to conjure up my own version of 'engineering'. I got my worn in look by way of scraping my ass up and down the cement footpath out the front of my house (I lived on a main road by the way). Later my mother told me that it would have been a hell of a lot easier to take off the said pair of jeans and rub them against a rough stone. Thanks for the advice mum, but too late. If only my nickname 'ass scraper' wore out as fast as my jeans did...

Then something revolutionary happened in the mid nineties (that saved my ass, so to speak). Levis decided that we didn't have to wait years and years to wear in our favourite pair of jeans, 'cause America's convicted criminals could do all the hard work for us! Yep, all those second hand Levis being sold in boutiques actually came from America's prisons. Imagine the satisfaction for the prisoner, knowing that some good came out of their existence? As long as they served their full sentence, of course (jeans just didn't achieve an optimum level of worn in-ness if prisoners got out early on parole). So my pre-worn Levis alla 'break and enterer' became the 'hottest' thing in my wardrobe (just kidding, I paid for them). Really, how could I have been so narrow minded as to think crime didn't pay?

Moving into the new millennium, jean manufactures suddenly realised that it was wrong to allow such an obvious exploitation of America's prisoners. Especially when the Chinese could do it for a whole lot less, and quicker too! Engineered denim was born. All of sudden, we didn't have to wait years for our jeans to hit the perfect level of worn in-ness, because we could buy a brand new pair of 'pseudo old' that looked like, well, a bad pair of new jeans. Like anything in its infancy, there is always something NQR (Not Quite Right) about it. Kinda like when CGI special effects first started to appear in film. Much to the rile of everyone around me, I just couldn't help the comment "Aw that looks so fake!" every time a dinosaur ripped apart a person, or when a ship collided with an iceberg in the middle of the Antarctic. It was just a natural reaction to something that looked completely unnatural when trying to appear natural (also my natural reaction when I see a man with hair plugs, or a woman with a bad boob job. But that's another blog entry all together). And while I didn't go around pointing at people wearing badly engineered jeans on the street (only because I too was a serious offender), I did wonder when the edges of pockets were going to be grinded evenly, rather then looking like they had been attacked by cat claws.

Today however, while we are finally perfecting pocket grinding, crotch whisker marks, and thigh and ass sand blasting, isn't this all merely an improvement on the fake worn-in look? I mean, I have a pair of jeans that I bought almost four years ago in dark indigo denim with only a basic enzyme wash. Over the years of wearing, there has not been even the slightest beginnings of fraying along any pocket; the whisker mark around the crotch goes straight across the thigh, (not splayed out in all kinds of unsightly directions drawing attention to my bathing suit area); and my ass does not look likes it's been dragged over coloured sand! Perhaps we have forgotten what a real pair of worn in jeans looks like?

In saying this, I'm certainly not against engineered denim. It's interesting and it's getting better. And while the 'new pseudo old' look has now become my daily bread, the 'engineered' price tag that comes with the jeans is nauseating. 'Authentic' looking old jeans will set you back around $350 (AUD) these days. Common! For me to even want to pay that kind of money, I'm hoping some Chinese worker is scraping their ass up and down the factory room floor for me.

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