How Much Can You Handle
I was talking to one of my friends just a few days ago, and she got me thinking.
She was telling me about all the problems in her life and how bad she was feeling and that it seemed that the universe just kept piling problem after problem after problem on her and she felt she was going to snap any day.
Yet she hasn't yet, and is still going strong, coping with it all. In fact, it's not starting to ease off and get better.
This made me think. I had gone through periods in my life where I thought the universe was ganging up against me and trying to wear me into the ground. Yet I got through it all. I remember in one of my worst times, a close friend of mine had a stroke and I remember visiting her in hospital and thinking, "How is she coping? I could never cope with that."
Then one night whilst watching the Discovery channel I put two and two together and got forty two.
I love Archaeology, and living in England we are literally swimming in it. In this particular show they were recreating how Iron Age man would have made a sword.
The blacksmith, when asked why he was heating and then cooling the blade said something very similar to this, "This process is called tempering. It's where you stress the metal in order to make it stronger."
As you can imagine, I perked up at this and realisation dawned upon me.
The Blacksmith deliberately stresses the blade of a sword so he can make it stronger.
Perhaps it is the same in life?
I then started to review some of the stress points that I had had in my life, and then I realised that it was true. If I hadn't have had these stresses then I would not be as strong as I am. I wouldn't be the person I am if it wasn't for these "bad" episodes in my life.
I began phoning around my friends, and asking them questions about this and realised it was true for them.
We go through all sorts of trials in our life because we are being tempered; made stronger for our purpose in life. I can now look back at many of the once negative events in my life and see how they have made me stronger and created the person I am today.
Another thing I realised whilst interviewing these people was that we are never given more than we can handle. I couldn't handle the stroke, yet my friend could. Perhaps she couldn't have handled some of the things in my life.
You will undoubtedly have stresses in your life, but instead of fighting them, embrace them as they are making you stronger. Understand too that you are never given more than you can handle, so that "insurmountable" challenge you are facing is in fact something you can handle and overcome ... maybe just with a change of perspective.
The Observation Cycle You Get More Of What You Are Observing
Many people often ask, "Why do I keep getting more of this (as they refer to something unwanted)?" The answer is always the same - you get what you vibrate! In other words, whatever you give your attention, energy and focus to, you'll get more of it.
I hear people say, "But I'm not giving attention, energy or focus to this and I keep attracting more of it." Or, "I know what I want, but keep attracting this (pointing to what they don't want)."
There are a few things to check out if you are curious about why you keep attracting things that you don't want - remember the answer is always the same - you get what you vibrate. So, the challenge is to find out what you are doing to create this attention, energy or focus to this issue. Here is a quick check-off list to help you determine what you might be doing to attract more of what you don't want.
(1) Are you saying what you don't want by using 'Don't', 'Not' and 'No'?
(2) Are you complaining or worrying about what you don't want?
(3) Are you observing what you don't want?
In your observation of what you don't want, in that moment, you are giving it attention, energy and focus, thus attracting more of it. Just by observing it, you are offering a matching vibration to it. And Law of Attraction which is obedient in every moment, will unfold more of that vibrational match into your life.
When you open you wallet and see how much money you DO or DON'T have, then you offer the same vibration. When you open your client or customer file cabinet, you observe how many clients you DO or DON'T have, and again, in your observation you offer the same vibration, thus the observation cycle continues.
It's easy and quick to change your focus from what you DON'T want to what you do want. Each time you notice you are giving attention to what you don't want ask yourself, "So, what do I want?" Create one clear statement about what it is that you do want and spend a few moments focusing on THAT thought. You can only hold one vibration at a time and this easy exercise ensures that you are now focused on what you do want.
Remember, observing what you don't want will cause you to offer the same vibration to it and you will attract more of the same.
Observing what you DO want creates a matching vibration within you to your desire so that Law of Attraction can bring you more of the same.
Yes You Can
If you are an entrepreneur, you know that your success cannot depend on the opinions of others. Like the wind, opinions change...like the weather, opinions change frequently. To succeed at any endeavor, you must stay the course...no matter what the cost! Here are some surefire tips to help you on your journey.
1. Avoid Negativity. Negative people are all around us. They can include our loved ones as well as a dear friend. Most often, it is the opinions of total strangers that breeds the most negativity as if someone who doesn't know or understand you is able to voice a reasonably thought out opinion about you.
No, you shouldn't avoid those who are close to you, rather there are areas of conversation that are less profitable. Accept criticism constructively, but steer the conversation away from nonstop negative banter. Negativity will grow on you unless you take control.
2. Build Yourself Up. No, I do not mean for you to puff yourself up with pride, rather you can be your best source of encouragement by encouraging yourself. How can you do this? Read the testimonies of other entrepreneurs/succeeders who have gone before you. Current day success stories of people who have gone from "rags to riches" [or from simple means to great influence] include personalities like Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewart, and Bill Gates. Yesterday's success stories are numerous and include: Thomas Edison, Harry S. Truman, and Abraham Lincoln.
3. Go Back to Square One. Should you find yourself wavering, recall those things that encouraged you to take your "step of faith" in the first place. Recall what it takes to succeed: discipline, self confidence, independence, hard work, sacrifice, etc. Look forward to the anticipated results: a good income, independence, a job you love, etc. Finally, remember the worst job you ever worked...imagine yourself working there again. Blah! Use whatever it takes to motivate you.
So, toss off the negative thoughts and embrace that which is uplifting, inspiring, encouraging, warm, friendly, and helpful. You are on track to achieving great things as long as you do not let yourself become derailed by the negative words of others.
Career Move From Shelf Filler To Manager
Are you in a dead end job? Are you fed up with low pay and long hours? Are you bored and want to do something more interesting? Do you want to be the person telling others what to do rather than being the one taking orders?
You can make it happen! if you are determined enough.
Consider the two alternatives, which one works for you?
Arrives late for work on a regular basis, usually chewing gum. Looks untidy, hair unkempt, nail varnish peeling and skirt very short. Only smiles and laughs loudly with her mates. Speaks to customers as little as possible. When asked if there is a top in another size. Answers "I don't know" or "if it isn't there we haven't got any"
Shows no interest on what needs to be done. Makes excuses to skive off when ever possible.
Does just enough to get by. Never takes the initiative. Walks past difficulties, doesn't see them or want to see them. A jar has broken leaving glass and jam all over the floor.
Is uncooperative or moody and sometimes both. Constantly complains that things aren't right, its not fair, out of order!
Boss sees no potential so takes little interest in her development. Job remains dead end, she gives little and gets no job satisfaction in return. Can't wait to leave.
What lies ahead.....another dead end job
Arrives on time, looking neat and tidy, ready for the days work. Knows the company policies about dress code and behaviour and follows them. Is always polite, friendly and professional.
Makes customers feel valued, is helpful and tries to sort out any problems. "I'll show you where they are" " They are out of stock but I can order one for you", I'll go and find out if we have any"
Is interested in how things operate. Asks relevant questions. Takes on her fair share of the work, offers to help others when it is appropriate. Takes a pride in doing things well.
Anticipates things, takes appropriate action. Thinks abut health and safety so blocks off the area and clears it up or reports it to the appropriate person.
Comes across as pleasant and professional even when having personal problems. If there is a problem, she goes to the right person, explains the difficulty and offers a suggestion about how the problem might be solved.
Goes to see the manager, expresses an interest in developing a career in the company. Asks for the opportunity for training. Takes each opportunity and makes the most of it.
Manager sees the potential invites her to join the trainee manager scheme.
Undertakes on the job training and rises through the ranks.
Manages her own store.
What do you want out of life?
Opportunities are what you make them. You have to take responsibility for your present and your future. Think about how you behave and how others see you.
If you don't like your present job think about what you really want out of life. The choice is yours!
Reducing Fear Of Driving With Proper Breathing
Those that experience anxiety, fear, or panic while driving often report an inability to breathe normally. They may have a feeling of being unable to take a deep breath, as if they're throat or chest were closing in. They may find themselves gasping and gulping for air or with fears of having a heart attack or lung disorder. Fears of losing control may present themselves stemming from the inability to control one's own breathing. All of these situations are common with the panic that ensues from a fear of driving and cause discomfort and more advanced symptoms, but none are physically dangerous. The goal in learning to breathe properly is not to prevent suffocation or any physical problem, which won't occur anyway, but to prevent the uncomfortable sensations that result from breathing in this manner. Fortunately, these breathing difficulties can be remedied using simple techniques.
The act of over breathing, or hyperventilating, results in the body taking in far too much carbon dioxide than is needed. Take a look at just some of the symptoms caused by hyperventilation and see if they look at all familiar:
Off To See The Wizard
Do you remember the story of "The Wizard of Oz"? In this story we saw the characters of Dorothy, who had wanted to run away from home because she thought there was a better place somewhere. We also met the scarecrow who believed he had no brain, the lion who thought he had no courage, and the kindly tin man who assumed he had no heart.
Together the four of them set off to the Emerald City to find the wizard in hopes that he could bestow upon them these virtues and find a way for Dorothy to go back home.
Even though Dorothy had thought she had wanted to be somewhere else, once she arrived in Munchkin Land she realized that hers dreams of being in a different place were not what she thought they would be. Disappointed in the reality she desperately wanted to return to Kansas and be with her loving family.
How many of us can relate to their dilemma? For some reason we think there is greener pasture on the other side or that we do not possess the characteristics necessary to fulfill our dreams.
From a very young age, many of us are told that we can not do this or that because we do not have the talent or that we are not wise enough, or strong enough, or smart enough. What happens is that we end up living our lives in character with what others have told us about ourselves and in our personal belief system about ourselves.
This jaded view of ourselves keeps us from doing the things we dream of doing. Many of us yearn for a magic wizard that would come along and bestow the qualities we feel are missing so we can do more with our lives.
For this reason we are afraid to step forward and go for our dreams. We feel inadequate to fulfill the calling ahead of us. From past experience we can see none of the characteristics necessary for us to reach our goal, our destination.
What many of us were never told, is that we are all given those things necessary in life for us to move ahead, but because of our past experiences and lack of self confidence we tend to shrink back from going forward in our lives.
Many people do not realize that self confidence comes from succeeding in an area that we wish to excel in. Success itself is not a one time event. In fact, it takes many failures and learning from our mistakes that make us eventually self reliant and confident.
Remember when you first started riding a two wheel bike. It's something that you really wanted to do. You saw your friends riding and were certain that it was something you could do. What happened? You tried and you most miserably failed. You would go a few short feet and then wobble and then bingo! You would fall again. Did you give up?
No! You got right back on that bike and kept practicing until you succeeded.
The great baseball hero Babe Ruth was known for his fantastic batting. He could hit a ball right out of the park! Did he just get up one day and say, "Hey, I'm gonna hit every ball out of the park"? No, of course not. Sure, it was probably his dream to hit as many as he could out of the park but he knew in reality he needed to practice and practice, and hit and miss and eventually he would hit more than he would miss. Every ball player has a batting average. This means that they hit a number of balls but it also means that miss a lot of the balls or end up walking to base or striking out.
We may have specific goals. We want to hit that ball, but we must be prepared to fail in order to succeed. As we fail, we learn better how to hold the bat the next time or at what angle we need to swing the bat to hit the ball head on. Even if we become super proficient at this, there will still be times when we just miss the ball. That is part of life, but unless we get up to bat we will not be in the game.
What about your dreams, are you giving them a fair shot. Sure you may not be perfect! Who is? The thing is, that you have to go after your dreams and not let failure or lack of self confidence hold you back.
Just like the scarecrow, the lion and the tin man, we must go through the adversity and step forward in faith. Along the journey we will find that indeed we do have the qualities that we were longing for.
Motivation Letter For Work Abroad
If you are applying for a job abroad (particularly in Europe or South America), a Motivation Letter For Work Abroad takes the place of a Cover Letter. Both resumes and Motivation Letters are much less formal than their United States equivalents. The Motivation Letter, as its name implies, tells your prospective employers why you are motivated to work for their companies. It gives you a chance to describe your personality, the languages you speak, any awards you may have won, and what motivates you to work abroad.
The Motivation Letter is constructed like a formal business letter, with your name and address in the top right corner. Beneath this and against the left margin should be the name, job title, company and address of the recipient. (It is worth doing a little digging to find out the name, if you don't know it.) European countries don't put a period after title abbreviations, so remember to leave them off ; i.e., "Mr" instead of "Mr." and "Dr" rather than "Dr.". Spell out the name of the month and use the order "day-month-year."
The first paragraph of your Motivation Letter describes the job for which you are applying, and how you learned about it. The second paragraph should address your qualifications for the job; don't just list them, talk about them. Show yourself to be a person of initiative and creativity ; in short, motivated! In the third paragraph, talk about why you want this particular job. What skills do you bring to it? What do you hope to learn? Finally, in the fourth paragraph give your contact information and times you are available for interview.
If you used the recipient's name, close "Yours sincerely;" if you used "Dear Sir or Madam," close "Yours faithfully." Type your name four spaces down and two spaces under that, against the left margin, type "Enclosure." Sign your name in the space above your typed name, attach a resume to your Motivation Letter For Work Abroad, and you've done it!
Why Can T We Have It All
I grew up wanting to do about five zillion different things and being told I couldn't. In fact, when I changed what I wanted to "be" from photojournalist to teacher, my mother changed it back. I'm still not entirely sure why, but that's a long, weird tale.
My point is, I've always heard, "You can't have it all."
I see the truth in that statement. I do. You can't have all the meatballs out of the spaghetti. That would leave none for anyone else. Same with all the chocolate chips out of the cookies.
You can't have all the cars you'd like to drive, because when would you drive them?
You can't have all the money you'd like to have, because you'd have to work all the time and then what would you do for fun and to spend all that money?
What I don't see the reason in, what I absolutely refuse to believe, is that I cannot pursue any interest I want, for as long as I want, and then move on to the next thing.
What I will not accept is that I have to be a widget-maker for my entire life, rather than making widgets for a couple of years, then going into sales for three or four years, then teaching for a while. Or even teaching while I'm in sales and making widgets on the side.
Who makes these rules?
Who says we can't have it all?
Sure, maybe not all at once, but I plan to live a while.
Fear Of Driving And Automatic Negative Thoughts
The fear of driving is often complicated, if not caused by, the individuals' automatic negative thoughts. These thoughts can be scary and irrational, such as the concern that they will veer into oncoming traffic or drive off a bridge, or they may be centered on the person's physical feelings of anxiety such as a rapid heartbeat or dizziness. These thoughts are often described as the most bothersome symptom of driving anxiety and they can be the actual triggers for panic attacks while driving. Controlling these thoughts is critical to success in eliminating a driving phobia.
It is sometimes advised that the individual who has a fear of driving diligently try to stop their negative thoughts. Although this is well intentioned and the goal certainly is to reduce the quantity of these bothersome thoughts, the technique is inherently flawed. Requiring the individual to remember what not to think of infers that they have already thought it. It is akin to telling them to not think of a blue banana. The first thing they will think of is a blue banana because the very act of remembering what not to think of requires the thought that is intended to be avoided. Methods of mentally visualizing a stop sign or snapping oneself with a rubber band to train the mind to no longer have the thoughts is unfortunately an often suggested technique that is not recommended.
Scheduled Worry Time
Worry time is setting aside specific periods of time through the day, typically morning and evening, to devote to letting these thoughts run their course. For instance, a common thought associated with the fear of driving is that of being trapped and not being able to escape and losing control. For this thought, the individual would force themselves to ruminate on the thought twice a day for a predefined period of time. The intention is twofold. First, the thought becomes less powerful as the person becomes disinterested in it after repeatedly playing out the scenario mentally. Secondly, the technique teaches the person to be able to postpone their worrying until the designated time, which eventually may allow them to postpone the concern indefinitely.
We have seen moderate success with this approach for very isolated thoughts or specific driving fears. For instance, if there is a particular bridge that is bothersome, but not bridges in general. For the overall fear of driving, there are too many fearful thoughts to effectively use this technique for long term. It also does not foster the acceptance and understanding of the fearful thoughts and sensations that is so critical for success.
The vast majority of those with irrational, compulsive, and scary thoughts associated with a fear of driving are highly intelligent and creative people. Many of the bothersome thoughts they have are not based on historical evidence or fact (they have likely never responded in the manner they fear, yet the fear remains), and are created by their overactive creative imagination. These abilities allow the phobic person to play out situations in the mind very convincingly and this realism helps to perpetuate the fear. The Driving Fear program, which specialized in the treatment of driving phobias and anxiety has developed a technique which uses these creative skills to eliminate instead of perpetuate the bothersome thoughts. It actually allows the same traits which created the fear to end the fear.
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