Why Is It Important For Women To Initiate Romance
Oftentimes we, as women, leave our needs unexpressed and wait for our husbands to just guess what to do. Many men honestly don't know how to be romantic. And, when they do get up the courage to attempt romance, their efforts may not be expressed in a way that we appreciate or even recognize as romance.
Look how silly this sounds. If your son was attempting algebra and didn't understand it, you wouldn't cry because he didn't love you. As a mom, we'd sit down, and go over it again and again, for as long as it took until he understood. Yet, we expect our husbands to know something that they've never been taught. Instead of leaving your man to struggle, show him how to romance you. How will he know what to do if you don't show him?
So, how can you teach him how to romance you?
1. Be romantic yourself.
If you show him that you value him and love him on a regular basis, instead of expecting him to be the romantic one, he'll be more receptive to trying it himself. The old saying "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" definitely applies. Yelling and crying because he isn't romantic isn't exactly going to put him in the lovey mood.
2. Tell him what you like.
Do you enjoy expensive gifts or would you rather have him make something for you? Would you like him to go on walks with you? Give you cut flowers or live plants?
Make a list of every birthday, anniversary and holiday and include ideas for things he can buy or do for you. Set him up to succeed.
3. Learn what he likes.
The same thing stands for him. Know what makes him happy.
Please don't buy him an expensive gift if he's the frugal type. He won't like it.
Don't take him to a fancy French restaurant if he's a Burger kind of guy. It's ok to take him there for your birthday, but don't take him there for his birthday.
If he loves sports, then go to them with him.
Please initiate romance. So often, women just get more and more resentful that they aren't feeling romanced and their man has no clue what to do to fix it. There really should be a required romance course before you can get your marriage license. At least that way, men would, at some point in time, learn how to be romantic. Until then, it's our job to show him just what we want and need to feel special. Now go Romance Your Man!
Is He Just A Friend Or He Loves You
This is a common situation. You know many men. Some of them are friends. Out of them one wants to be more than a friend with you. But he does not know how to tell you that? Are there any signs that will tell you that he is interested in you? Let us try to find out.
Friends always talk to each other freely. They laugh, make fun of each other and occasionally speak with each other in not a very civil way. If that man is interested in you, he will do none of this. Forget talking freely, he will find it difficult to speak to you. You will sometimes catch him looking at you intently, but as soon as you turn towards him, he will turn away. He would never make it obvious that he was watching you. If any time some body makes fun of you, you will find everybody joining the fun, but not this man. He would rather look at the fun maker with anger. If any time you knock yourself against any object, others may ignore that, but not your hero. He will surely come and ask you if he can help.
Being in love and being a friend are two different things. Friendship is devoid of romantic love. There is no place for passion in friendship. Friends share everything without any need of protection. Friends are not bothered if they show their wilder side to other friends. Rather they love that. Friends don't talk with each other in hushed tone and never feel shy of each other. Friends don't care about what they wear amongst friends. Friends are more like a group of like - minded people who enjoy each other's togetherness and behave more like siblings.
Romantic love stands at the other extreme. You will never catch a lover wearing something that can be commented upon negatively. A romantic lover does everything with a single objective - please his/her beloved. You will not find a romantic lover speaking the way friends do. Romantic lovers are not very open with each other and feel shy of each other's presence. The flies in the stomach of a romantic lover when he/she looks at the beloved make all the difference.
Now you know what signs to look for in a friend and find out if he thinks of you as a friend or his object of love.
How To Keep The Flames Burning In A Relationship
Creating Intimacy to Keep the Flame Burning
It is true that intimacy and relationship are two very different words. They have different meanings and present totally different concepts. The tie that binds them to each other, however, is the fact that a relationship needs intimacy to survive. Intimacy is the substance which enables the people involved in a relationship to enjoy each other all the more.
Intimacy is defined as the condition of being private or personal. This encompasses everything that involves close association or familiarity. Two people are intimate when they are able to share with each other the innermost and most essential parts of themselves without any kind of inhibition. It is only through creating intimacy that two people are able to know each other through and through.
The inability of people involved in relationships to create intimacy results to the creation of distance. This is the reason why creating intimacy is important even from the start. How to create intimacy is something that each and every person involved in a relationship should know how to do, for creating intimacy is the foundation that would forge the connection between two people n a relationship more strongly than ever.
Creating intimacy involves consistent attention for one another and the relationship itself. It also involves respect for each another and the relationship in particular. Regular, healthy verbal communication is always an important factor in establishing openness, and physical contact is as essential in creating intimacy and closeness as other factors.
Creating intimacy also involves regular expression of caring and tenderness so that each one in the relationship may know how important he or she is to the other. And because the expression of feelings is equally telling, it becomes one of the most important things that would create intimacy and bind people in a relationship together.
Because creating intimacy means creating familiarity and openness, it is a must for people involved in a relationship to become honest and straightforward with each other. Saying and doing what is truthful and honest for both of them would help a lot, and acceptance of each other's personality and characteristics would foster an understanding between the two of them like no other.
To create intimacy, people in a relationship should also have an understanding of how their families of origin would affect the relationship itself. This is essential, too, in understanding the behavior of each other in connection with the atmosphere he or she grew up in. Then again, it is important for partners to take time to listen to what each other thinks and feels. Living in the present and envisioning a life together in the future would create chemistry that they could both use to become not as separate individuals but as a team ready to battle all odds together.
Lastly, it is always important for people concerned about creating intimacy to promote the personal growth of one another. It should always be remembered that those involved in relationships are there to complement each other in every way. The relationship is the medium which enables people to learn this simple truth. Creating intimacy means sharing one's own person with his or her partner the best possible way.
People's inability to create intimacy in any kind of relationship creates distance, the worm capable of eating the union slowly away. It is always important for those involved in relationships to try their best efforts to create intimacy, because it is what would keep the flame burning for quite a while.
Finest Russian Women Still Want American Men Why
Why do the finest Russian women search for American men?
As an owner of a free Russian women dating site, I have been asked a lot about Russian ladies looking for American men. Here is one of the questions:
"I am a 31 year old American man and tried the personals in the US. I had little luck with local dating and regional dating sites. However, when I started using the Russian personals, the response was overwhelming.
Why are the finest Russian women so much more interested in corresponding with American men than are American women interested in corresponding with American men?"
If you ask Russian ladies looking for American men about their motivations for seeking a husband abroad you may find out some convincing arguments for doing so.
Here are the top 6 reasons why the finest Russian women start searching for a foreign husband.
Census, Russia is home to 10 million more women then men. The number of women in their 30s noticeably exceeds the number of men. After the divorce, the woman with a kid (or with no kids) has little chance of getting married again in Russia, according to sociologists. There are no men in Russia to get married to: mortality rate of the working age males is extremely high.
Women are overloaded with family responsibilities in Russia: housekeeping, upbringing of children and earning of money. They have to take charge of all everyday problems that are essential for their families. For the sake of truth it should be said, there ARE nice, responsible and sober men in Russia but we don't easily meet them. The unvarnished truth is: most Russian men abuse alcohol and do not provide for their families. Psychologists say, Russian men undervalue the essence of family.
Finest Russian women are highly educated and want careers. Depending on where she lives in the FSU, she may find that it is impossible for her to have the career she wants and to realize her full potential there. Most educated women have more ambition than to simply function from 9 to 17 for a tiny salary. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as she seeks a loving relationship with the man and his moral support.
Some Russian women are looking to live in an economically more stable environment (and I don't just mean the ones who are obviously looking for a 'sugar daddy', although there are some of those as well as you already know).
In other words, it is reasonable to say some want to live in a better economy but we can not assume that is what every Russian woman looking abroad desires.
There's nothing wrong with that as well, as long as the woman's feelings toward the man are sincere.
The female has an instinct to choose a mate of good genes, to support the family, and defend the children of that union. If the finest Russian women see American men for that basic instinct, than she has made a wise choice, not just about money, but thinking about the future.
Sometimes people are just lonely. They either have different standards or just haven't met the right person and have expanded their selection. There is nothing wrong with that. There is something even satisfying about looking abroad. It can be a win-win situation.
"Marriages between Russian women and American men are very successful and harmonious", O. Makhovskaya, the senior research assistant at the Psychology Institute in Russia's Academy of Sciences says. "Families of this kind where husbands are Americans and women are Russians prove to be long-living, as the roles in the family are clearly distributed and the mechanism operates good, although these are mixed families. In such families each of the couple is ready to make concessions and on the whole, wonderfully performs the role."
My opinion on these relationships is: trust. If you found the right person, if you met a nice woman don't worry about the "why"...too much, there is no one answer. Trust and enjoy.
The notion 'Russian woman' includes women from Ukraine and Belarus as well, as they have very much in common.
10 Common Lies Told By Women
Why are some relationships more honest than others? Why are some couples more truthful with each other while others like to deceive the partner? Nobody deserves to be lied, but there are no doubts that women are telling lies considerably and often. But so men do the same.
If you have trust issues in your relationship, in general, a woman may lie to you. Trust is something that you must build from the beginning of the relationship. Even though, a lot of people say "white lies" in order to make others feel better. Some women lie because, as caring creatures they want to spare the feelings of the man they are dating or seeing.
So, here are some common lies told by women that you should know. Someday you might hear them from your partner and it is better to know their real meaning.
1.You're perfect. I love you just the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you. Let's be serious; nobody is perfect. At the beginning of a relationship all of them say this because they didn't know you very well but after some time will definitely find something that needs changed. So, if she tells you something like this, don't be too enthusiastic because she finds you perfect just for a couple of days, and after that she will ask you to change.
2.You're right. Every time you are arguing with you're girlfriend usually ends up by telling you that you are right? Maybe this makes you feel proud of you, but you have to know that this is a big lie. She said this just to make you shut up, even if she didn't consider that you're right. She knows that after a while you will see that she was right, and may be waiting for apologize.
3.Nothing is wrong. The most common lie " I'm fine" when asked if there is something wrong is the most used by women. You see that she is upset, she is acting strange or doesn't want to talk to you too much and ask her what is the problem she says that everything is fine. They don't want to tell the real truth but they are expecting that men to figure out that something is wrong and those they had a mistake with something.
4.I do love sports honey. Maybe she agrees to stay and watch with you every week at a football game but this doesn't really mean that she like it. She accepts to do this just to show you that she is different from other girls and you have common interest. You may be thinking that you have found the perfect girl for you, because not many of them would like to stay to watch football, but don't be too happy because after a while she might had enough and get angry every time you sit down to watch a game.
5.I like spending time with your friends. At the beginning this is ok, but not too much. Even if they are good friends of you, she would like to spend more time alone with you and not with your friends. If she didn't tell you already this, she will ask you to keep visits from your buddies at minimum and then she might keep pretending she loves them.
6.Your family is adorable, so I like spending time with your family. The truth? Maybe twice a month. Think about it. Do you really think that she likes to spend time with your family where everybody is criticizing her and watch her every move? She agrees to spend time with your family when is necessary but she doesn't do it with much pleasure even if she is pretending in front of you that she likes them.
7.Your bank account doesn't matter. I hope you didn't believe this. We all know that this is definitely a lie. All women want a guy that is financial stable and independent, a guy that can assure her a future with no financial problems. This doesn't mean that you have to be very rich to have a girlfriend, but you have to have some money.
8.It doesn't bother to me if you look after women or go with your boys at strip-clubs. This is too good to be truth. Even she says that this is ok, she will definitely be upset that you want to go. They hate to feel second best to a night out with the guys, and accept this in order to make themselves seem less pathetically needy. If you choose to go, she will make you a lot of comments after, so you better think twice before you go.
9.You are very good in bed. If she choose to speak about this topic without you ask her, you don't have to believe all she says. If she starts to compliment you about your sexual experience it doesn't mean that she really believes that. Often a woman who cares about a man tell him all that she knows he wants to hear just to make him feel good about himself. So think about your girlfriend, your relationship, your sexual experience and see if you really deserve compliments on this topic.
10.Don't worry, it happens to everyone. If you just make a mistake, or fail in bed, you might hear this lie from your girlfriend. She doesn't want to show you how upset she is on you but in her mind thinks something else. I wouldn't be too sure that your mistake is forgiven and I would worry in not making too many " accidents" like these.
With all these presented, now will be more easy for you to know when your girlfriend is lying. As you see, what a woman says is not what she really thinks.
Does Any Other Loss Equal Loss Of Love
Have you loved and had the devastating experience of your beloved leaving you? Have you felt the pain? Does any other pain come nearer to it? Yes, the pain of losing someone by death may come near to that. But even that is not comparable. By death, you lose your sweetheart forever and know that she/he is no longer in this world. But if he/she leaves you, you experience the shock that is unsurpassed. You know that your beloved is in this world itself, but you have no strength to find out where? You have no strength to meet and find out the reason for the betrayal. You get so numbed with the shock, that you can take no more pain. So you are left to live with that pain yourself. And that life is nothing but death at every moment.
When I cry for my beloved, the tears that I shed are more precious than heavenly pearls, says the poet in me. Yes, one cries, and one finds no one to share that cry. If you talk to people around you about the break down you are facing, they will probably call you a fool for grieving. After sometime, you stop talking to anyone about your pain. That keeps the pain inside you. That kills you slowly, but surely.
Can one overcome this? Very difficult. The very fact that you fell in love that submerged you tells about your personality. Such personalities that give themselves totally away, find it very difficult to bear the loss of love. Snatch a child away from the mother and measure the pain of the mother, you will find out what I am talking about. Why does the mother grieve so much? Because she carried the child in her womb for nine months, she cared for the child after birth, she kept awake for her child for endless nights and she dreamt for her child at all the times. The child was an extension of her own personality. The loss therefore becomes unbearable.
In the same way, those who love deeply, love their beloved like their own child. They care for the beloved like their own extension. Their love and their beloved become an essential part of their personality. Therefore, when that love walks out, the grief is immense and the loss immeasurable. What is to be done? No one can say about this. It all depends on the personality.If that person can somehow continue working towards a useful goal, while keeping the pain all the time inside the heart, life can be carried on for sometime. But ultimately that pain of separation will engulf the person.
Love Balance Emotions And Intelligence
Love is euphoric. Love is enchanting. Love is heavenly. Love is captivating. And Love is something no one can describe. Love has to be felt, it cannot be explained. One cannot fall in love by planning; one just falls in love without realizing. That is love. And love also takes intelligence away like nothing can. In love, the most intelligent person may act foolishly, because love overwhelms.
What if you fall in romantic love? It is the beginning of your love and you have no thoughts in your mind except those of your darling. You are dreaming of making a home with her/him and living happily ever after. You are planning, discussing and dreaming. You are as much away from the reality of life as much as day is away from night. You get married. Your friends gather. Your family gathers. There is celebration. The couple looks great. They look to be in so much love with each other. You feel like the luckiest person on the earth. And then you announce divorce after a year. Why?
You never allowed your intelligence any role in your decision to marry. You never thought of what marriage means. You never faced the reality of staying together. If she is north, you are south, and if he loves literature, you love outdoors. Both of you knew about the differences, but both of you ignored them. You never gave attention to them. And some one pointed out the differences and asks you to rethink; he/she was out of your list of friends. But the final outcome was shattering. No divorce ever gives peace and fulfillment.
Please fall in love. Please experience the high of love, real passionate love. And please ask your intelligence few questions before deciding to spend life together. Are we suitable for each other? Are our habits similar? Will we give comfort to each other? Are our expectations real and will they get fulfilled? Are we fit to marry each other? Will our love last? Let intelligence play a role along with your love and then decide. You will never have to announce divorce. You will live happily together forever, because you have made a conscious decision after finding out everything.
Refreshing Your Relationship Give 100
A common expression is "I'll meet you halfway," and we often take that attitude into our marriage. I hear frequent complaints from couples in trouble that their partner isn't pulling their fair weight, that one is giving more than the other.
Whoever determined that life is a 50-50 proposition?
Some give more than others. Some take more than others. On every level of society from politics to business to social interactions, there are discrepancies of effort, economics, and emotions.
Going into a relationship with the expectation that contributions will be fairly shared is to court disaster. Over a span of time, a certain amount of evenness will develop through a process of give-and-take and ups-and-downs. But at any specific point, one may be giving while the other needs to just take for a while.
We all need to enter the most important relationship of our life with the foreknowledge and determined commitment to give 100%. Once we have internalized that concept, we can avoid the painful feelings we get when we think we are being cheated of our just rewards. If the relationship is healthy, and both partners are committed to the 100% investment, eventually it will work out somewhere in the middle -probably never 50-50 but somewhere in the broad bell curve of averages: 30% to 70%. At different times, the equation adjusts as careers, children, and other responsibilities change.
If you are the individual giving 70% and your other half is falling a little short, remember that you swore to give 100% so you are much better off than you expected.
Can you see how such thinking changes the framework of your marriage? You're not getting cheated, you're getting much more support than your original bargain called for!
You can use this new attitude in any aspect of your partnership. Many couples develop resentment over their relative monetary contributions. If you have the initial anticipation of being the sole breadwinner, then any contribution by the other, however small, is a great big bonus. If you enter the union with the expectation that you will handle all the cleaning and parenting chores required, then anything done by your partner is a plus.
If one of you handles your mutual social obligations, then the participation of your spouse, even if limited to just showing up and being there, is more than you expected. You may feel, as many of my patients do, that you are not getting the support and good strokes that you deserve. Reframe the sense of deprivation within the 100% concept and you find that even occasional support and positive feedback is an unexpected gift.
We all need to feel loved and appreciated and cherished. We also need to give love and appreciation to others. If we give more than we get, we can harbor anger at our being cheated or we can love and appreciate our own selves for having a greater capacity to give.
This one single change in your outlook towards your relationship can transform the hidden resentments that result in nagging, negativity, and verbal putdowns into a deep satisfaction that leads to overt affection, positive support, and mutual respect.
True Love Is Something That Can Happen
True love is something that can happen no matter the circumstances of the situation. Whether you are a poor beggar boy chasing after the heart of a princess, a chivalrous and courageous Knight immensely in love with the queen that you've vowed protection to, or whether your families are hated enemies of one another, it is possible for love to take root and blossom. It also could be the simple attraction to what we cannot have, the forbidden. Regardless of the reason, love of these kinds has spawned off wonderful and inspirational stories. Stories about such couples as Aladdin, Sir Lancelot, Romeo and their lovely ladies have all helped to keep the dream alive. It is the dream that love, although forbidden, or seemly impossible, with great sacrifice is achievable.
"I can show you the world shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me princess, when was the last time you let your heart decide?" Aladdin and Jasmine will forever be remembered by their magical carpet ride across the night sky, through the clouds, and over the lighted desert city of Agrabah. This Middle-Eastern based romance is only a cartoon, but it does illustrate clearly the aspect of forbidden love. Aladdin, a poor beggar boy from the streets of Agrabah, wished to prove to everyone that he was much more than what they thought he was, a "street rat." One day, he helped a young girl in the market place and he began to fall in love with her, not realizing her true identity in the beginning. The young girl in actuality is none other than the princess of his kingdom, Princess Jasmine, and fortunately for him she returned his love. Although the princess could only wed a royal suitor, Aladdin believed that someday he would be able to have his princess. As luck would have it, a mysterious old man took him to the incredible Cave of Wonders, in search of a magical lamp. Aladdin used this lamp to free the genie inside. With the help of the genie, Aladdin was able to save his kingdom from impending doom. This act off goodness convinced the Sultan that Aladdin was a worthy suitor for his daughter Jasmine.
King, Queens, and Knights in shining armor are all that a great epic romance needs to be successful. One such story is that of Sir Lancelot and his love affair with the very queen he swore protection to, Queen Guinevere. Guinevere was the beloved queen of King Arthur, the founder of Camelot. As the champion of King Arthur and Queen Guinevere and premiere Knight of Arthur's court, Lancelot was an unstoppable warrior. He almost never met defeat and quickly defeated all comers in or out of armor and regardless of the number of his foes. However, he was defeated, but only by the power of love. He was unable to control his love for the queen of Camelot and she returned his love, making it harder for either of them to deny it. They felt this love so strongly for each other they were willing to destroy all that King Arthur had worked for during his entire life, just so they could be together. Lancelot was Arthur's best friend and most trusted knight, and Guinevere was his wife and his queen, yet they continued their relationship together. Camelot fell, as they knew it would, and feeling the guilt of it, Guinevere and Lancelot decided they must separate. Lancelot became a monk and lived as a penitent until his death, and Guinevere did nearly the same. She went to a nunnery spending the rest of her life in repentance and serving God, hoping for forgiveness for what she and Lancelot had done. An unfortunate end to such a romance, but a tragedy such as this immortalizes the tale for all of history and the days that precede it.
"Oh Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet. `Tis only thy name that is my enemy. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet must be the most famous romantic couple of all time. Their love was forbidden by social status. Their families did more than not approve of their love for each other; the Montagues and the Capulets were archenemies. Even though centuries of hate ran through their blood, the love of their hearts cleansed the hatred with every beat. It is sad their lives would not last as long as their love. Romeo, hearing that Juliet was dead, went to see for himself and he found it to be true. He soon killed himself beside her body, not wanting to live another moment on this earth without his beloved Juliet. After he died Juliet awoke from her induced comatose-like sleep to find Romeo committed suicide because he thought she was really dead. Juliet, overwhelmed with remorse for causing the death of her lover, killed herself as well. Both Romeo and Juliet choose not to live life without the other.
These tales are only a few examples of forbidden love. It is not that clear whether any of these stories are fiction or non-fiction, but one thing is for certain, many people experience forbidden love like this. Love finds a way and with that thought, cannot be erased by laws or rules. It is the fabric that never fades, no matter how often it is washed in the waters of grief. Love is the power that motivates hope, and hope is what makes us live today as if tomorrow were yesterday. Aladdin and Jasmine, Sir Lancelot and Lady Guinevere, and Romeo and Juliet all saw this and chased their love and proved that even the most forbidden of loves is possible as long as they are willing to sacrifice.
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